Really need support.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Really need support.....
8
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 3:52pm

Hi everyone. I am just so depressed today, and I know the reasons why. Usually I can shake it off, but today its just not going away. Maybe its the holidays, I don't know. But, here goes. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for all most 2 years. Its SO hard, I know this isn't a TTC board, but that is part of my depression. It just feels like everyone we know has a baby and I want one SO bad. That has been part of my motivation to start losing the weight. Because my periods have completly stopped. I haven't had one for a year now. And I really have a feeling that my weight is connected to that somehow. But I am just in that funk where I feel like I'm never going to lose the weight, or get pregnant, so why try? I ate SO bad over the weekend. Probably because I'm such an emotional eater. And I recognize that in myself, but can't stop it.
Also, my husband just got a new job, working for FedEx, and right now with the holidays he is putting in 14-15 hour days. It would be great if the money was good, but they do the money SO weird. He only gets extra money if he handles a certain about of packages. So since he is new, he is still trying to learn the route, and he can't deliver all of his truckload by himself. So, his boss takes some. So needless to say he is putting in these long days, and not getting any over time for it. I just hope that after this week, it slows down for him. It would also be a comfort to know, we would be getting benefits, but I am starting to think we don't. My DH keeps forgetting to ask, so we don't even know. So if we don't get health insurance, then I can't try to figure out what is wrong with my stupid body.
I'm just depressed. I don't feel like eating healthy, I don't feel like exercising. I just am hating things today.....Thanks to anyone who reads this.

Tami



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 5:11pm

Hi Tami--

I can really feel for you. My husband and I have been been TTC for a couple of years now too, and same with us, no luck. I still get my monthly cycle, but since our sex life sucks (sorry, probably TMI), due to my weight, I think, things aren't going well.

First, I would completely forget about eating badly this weekend. I did also...I'm also an emotional eater and work was very stressful and I lost it. But every day is a new day and every day matters so just do your best today, then tomorrow, etc.

Can you call the HR department at Fed Ex? I would think that would be appropriate, just to say that your husband just started and you needed to check on benefits. That might ease your mind some. As for him working so hard, at least he's a hard worker. :) It will get easier for him, I'm sure, as time goes on.

I wish I could say more to help, but just know that someone is thinking about you, and you can do it. One day at a time. Feel free to email me if you like.

Kate
261/248/145

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 4:53am

I am so sorry to hear that you're so depressed Tami. I agree that for some people weight is a problem when trying to get pregnant (because of hormone levels I think.. I'm no expert here.. maybe someone from the board with medical background can verify this?)... But hey, it's not like this is not reversible right? You only need to lose weight. A lot of people have huge medical problems that are keeping them from having children, but if you're only talking about weight, then you should consider yourself lucky right? And you don't need to reach ideal weight to be able to get pregnant, just a lighter weight that's all. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

I lost over 30 pounds so far with eating healthy and almost no exercise. If you hang around here long enough you're realise I'm one of the slowest people to lose weight. I plateau for weeks at a time. If I allowed myself to think that it was pointless after my first plateau, I would've given up ages ago. And where would I be now? Probably higher in weight that I started. Fine, it took me more than 7 months, but I lost the 33 pounds and they're not coming back.

Don't allow the negative thinking. YOU CAN DO THIS.
Mary
247/214/165

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 5:21pm

((((Tami))))))

Im new here but I just wanted to let you know that I can relate. I am not able to have any more kids because of medical problems, so I had to have a tubal. I just got married in March and my DH has no kids of his own, and we both want to have a baby together, but I dont think it will ever be possible because of my medical problems. Knowing this, it has made me very depressed too and I have gained about 30 lbs since we got married, and that has resulted in almost no "you know what" going on in our house either ;x I think in some ways, subconciously I gained weight just so I could have a big belly to "feel" pregnant, yanno what I mean? That might be a little nuts...lol. I feel so gross and disgusted with myself sometimes though and I am the only one who can change it, but there are days when you just want to give up. Its hard, but we can do it together! Like I said, I am new, but I dont think anyone minds so much if you talk about depression relating to weight gain/loss. If they do and you would like to, you can email me through my profile. Keep your chin up and know that you are not alone.

Rebekah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 5:51pm

Thanks to everyone that has given me encouragment. I am really starting to wonder if I have depression, like I need to take medication for. I just have no motivation to exercise. I have been eating pretty good. But, I just can't get up the motivation to exercise. I have been doing it everyday for about a week, but I am just starting to realize more then anything, I wish I could do walking. Some of the exercises on the Yourself Fitness are just to hard, and complicated, and I don't feel like I am getting a good cardio workout. But the option for walking isn't here for me right now. Bad neighborhood, don't have a car to go to a gym, stuff like that. I will have to decide what I am going to do, but for now, I am just going to try to keep making healthy food decisions.
Thanks again for everyone that gave me encouragement, it really helps.

Tami



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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 11:54pm

Tami! Girl! Walk away the pounds! CD by Leslie Nelson (i think) Bought mine at WalMart...about $9....you walk in place in your living room!

And...don't think you can't work up a sweat! Beacuse you do.

Try it! The best answer for a bad neighborhood.

SussieQ

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 1:52am

Another vote for the Walk Away The Pounds videos!! They are by Leslie Sansone (not Nelson!) and are a great workout!

I'm sorry you are feeling depressed. I've struggled with depression my whole life it seems. I've never taken medication, mostly cuz I'm afraid I'll get all the horrible side effects. Stupid probably, but I can't afford to gain any more weight, LOL! We've also been ttc our 3rd child, its only been 6 months but it still gets me down.

Hang in there, hugs!!

Amanda

Amanda

mom to Ethan (7), Ryen (6), and Katelyn (2)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 7:13pm

I use the Walk Away the Pounds videos in the summer time (I live in FL) and its WAYYYYY too hot to walk outside. They are great! I get a little bored, but thats just me. YOu do get a great workout from them, especially if you use the weights. They are pretty cheap, I got a 3-DVD set for $25, look on Ebay, there are usually alot of them for sale very cheap. Or if you can afford it, Netflix, an online movie rental service, has fitness DVD's you can try out. its www.netflix.com

Keep your chin up :)

Rebekah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 2:52am

Hang in there, pinkhoodie! I know I don't know you but we all have ups and downs, its gettig through the downs that defines who we are.

From a religious aspect, let go and let God. Tell him what you are thinking and feeling and he's always been there for me. I haven't been through the exact version of what you are going through but I know He cares and He'll help.

I have had some friends go through TTC and being overweight and even not being overweight. I have a friend who is getting bitter about life because she is in her 30s and no man in sight for her. I have a friend that fought for YEARS to get preg and finally did, only to be diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis afterward. Another never did get preg and ended up adopting 2 beautiful children after her painful acceptance that she'd never conceive. Another got preg, waited another 5 yrs going through agonizing efforts to get preg again and did. What I am saying is, there are all scenarios out there. I wish I knew what your final story will be. I don't know that motherhood is in your future but it isn't the end if you never conceive. You can do foster to adopt. I know it isn't the same but think of all the children out there that have no where to go and would be blessed by your presence, even if your husband has humble wages.

One thing I do know from my own life experiences is that if you let it, you will come to a time where you are prepared to do whatever it takes or not do according to what guidance you receive about your life. The best times for me came when I was at a low and at wits end and just knelt down in prayer and layed it all out. But the key is to be willing to act on what you are told. THAT is gold. That frees you from your burden(s).

Okay, enough with the sermon. lol. Sorry if that annoyed anyone.

CS