Confessions

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2005
Confessions
2
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 7:34pm

Being overweight has caused me to disregard my feelings a lot of my life. Go swimming? Are you kidding? (Yeah... it's fun, but would I fit in the pool?)

There has been a lot I regret missing out on, but sometimes I wonder if the blame belongs on the weight or if I'm at fault for emotionally holding back, regardless my situation.

I was thinking over the past few days about how I have always loved to run. I can't do it too well anymore, of course, but the thought of being FAST and agile is something I really want. I even dream sometimes of running really fast - not in an afraid kind of way, but just because it feels good.

So.. the point of all this blathering is - I'm going to start running. So what if I look like a blob of Jello going down the street. I'll get there. Besides, how much worse is it to jiggle a little more, when just going for a walk is just almost as embarassing, given how I look?

Hey, it might even help me lose some flub. Offtopic: I had a brain blast a while ago that will help me keep on track. I'm writing it here so I won't forget it and so it might help someone else too.

I've been overweight for Years and Years. I'm obviously not happy this way.
I'll devote one year to weight loss and maintaining proper weight should I reach that before the year is up.
At the end of that year I will evaluate every facet of my life as it was, and as it is at the end of that weightloss year.
I'm pretty darn sure I'll be happier then, but if I'm not, I can Always go back.
Nothing to lose there aye? Cuts the fear right out. Makes sense.

Sometimes you have to give positive change an opportunity to happen.
It's tempting sometimes to stop after a couple months and go back to old ways, but a couple of months won't be near enough time to feel the benefits of being a good weight. For most of us it will take a year or more to feel true benefits. Keep the Faith, be consistent - I'm giving myself a year and feel confident that by 2007 I'll be a changed person, and all for the better. I'll leave this post as an open letter, if any of you want to add your confessions on. Why wait? We can start doing what we want now. If you've made the decision to lose weight and be healthy, that's the hard part. The rest just takes time. Anyway, continued good luck to all you folks. Be smart during the Fatmas season - no excuses. Fall off the bandwagon and it's twice as hard to get back on.

Gosh, I write too much. Bye for now

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 3:35am

Yes, I have been coming to the realization too, that blast it all with what people think. People are too wrapped up in their own lives to give a crap about what other people think or do. AND, if a person is going to pick and criticize, they will do it regardless of people's weight. So, put 'em all in the background and do what you are going to do. I would like to work up to running myself, no marathons mind you, just 5 miles would be good.

You know, I read an awesome book by Pamela Hansen (I think) called "Running with Angels". She talks about being obese, overcoming it and ending up running a marathon. It's real inspirational once you get past the heartbreak. The poor woman went through pregnancy after pregnancy. Some were stillborn, one died after she and her twin were born of a rare disease that doctors couldn't do anything about, 2 children were diagnosed with horrendous terminal health issues about age 2, and she did have at least one young son and how she ate herself fat over the stress of such events. But also the triumph she has in overcoming the weight problem and how good she is doing now. It's a reall good read. Gives you perspective.

Okay, I'm done. ttyl

Carley

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 3:20pm

My confession deals with all the mumbo-jumbo diet gurus like to spew..I will agree with them and try to live their'code' but bottom line is that for me personally alot of what they say just doesn't fit or go with how I 'feel"....one example is the "you have to do it for yourself, you can't do it for anyone else" motto..sure it sounds good and looks good...but...I would willingly forego pie for a year if it would mean I would "see" that look in my DH's eyes again.

Chrissy