New here and a mess!
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| Mon, 01-30-2006 - 11:48am |
Hi everyone. I posted on a board like this last year, not sure if it was this one, so I may not be totally new! Anyway, I am 5'5" and weigh about 276 or so. Last summer I weighed 268, then last August I found out I was pregnant with twins. We were so happy! They were due in April. But right before Christmas, at 23 weeks, I went into labor and my little boy and girl were born and lived only a few short minutes. It's been very difficult time for me. Right after they were born I was so upset I couldn't eat and in less than 2 weeks lost the 25 pounds that I had gained while pregnant. Then my depression changed to wanting to eat everything! I've since gained back 10 pounds in the past month. I am eating so much junk... ice cream, McDonald's, soda! I feel so gross. I tried 3 times last week to start some type of program but that lasted one meal only each day. I know that I will feel better if I eat better and lose weight, but how do I just get going? Plus I am so lost as to what diet plan to do. One day I decide to do South Beach, the next it is Insulin Resistance Diet (I have an insulin resistance problem called PCOS) or Weight Watchers. I'm starting to lean more towards Weight Watchers. I've done it before, and found I followed it when I knew I had to go someplace to weigh in. I just hope I don't change my mind again!!! I just feel like a big blob right now. :( Thanks for listening, I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you.
Wendy


I just wanted to welcome you and say I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult a time it must be for you. Don't beat yourself up if it takes you longer to get past this and to get on track. I had an early miscarriage 11/04, and it still took me several months before I was on the right page emotionally and physically to lose weight. My hormone were just out of whack for so long and I just couldn't find the willpower or motivation to stop eating. Don't beat yourself up if you can't get on track right away. Weight Watchers is a great program to follow. Hopefully it will keep you from feeling deprived or cheated. If you start the plan and discover that you just aren't ready to stay on track and lose the weight, why not focus on just not GAINING? That in and of itself is a feat, and by focusing on not gaining, you won't have to really give up any of your comfort foods or anything, and you won't be at an even higher weight when you finally do find the motivation to lose. Good luck with your journey and we're here if you have any problems or questions!
Staci
I'm so sorry to hear you've had to endure such a tragic event in your life. My heart goes out to you. You obviously DO have great inner strength to be wanting to make these changes. Take your time and be willing to take small steps in the beginning. Every change you make, no matter how small, adds up. We're here to help in whatever way we can!
I just want to say I am truly sorry for your loss. Losing both babies makes it doubly hard to deal with. I had an ectopic pregnancy in October of 2002 and it broke my heart. It took me a year to get over it, and I think what really got me past the worse was to get pg with my son. I agree with Staci when she says if it takes you longer to get into the swing of losing weight don't beat yourself up. My best friend lost her baby just hours after she was born and it took her a long time to heal as well. I also agree you must be a mighty strong woman to be trying to better yourself right now. Good luck to you.
Angela
Angela
I am so sorry for your loss Wendy. I pray that you find the salvation and inner strength to get through this. I applaud to you for wanting to go on with your life. I agree that if you can't commit to weight loss right now, it's a great idea to focus on not gaining. And if you're ready to lose weight and can't decide on a method, why don't you try to make small changes in the way you already eat.
I am looking forward to knowing such a strong woman like you.
Mary
247/216/165
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. I am all set to join Weight Watchers tomorrow. Of course I pigged out tonight even more than normal! I'm so out of control.
Emotionally I am doing okay. I have my good days and bad. I'll forever miss my babies, but they will always be in my heart.
Wendy
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your babies. I can only imagine what that was like for you.
I would like to offer you my e-mail address to write and be supported during your journey.
It is: kshepperd@comcast.net
Not too long ago, I was spinning out of control also. I know that feeling where if seems like you just can't stop eating. It's a scary place to be and I don't want to go back there for sure! It is much better on this side as you know.
I was also struggling with getting started which is the hard part don't you think? I believe our bodies get so toxic that we don't know which way is up anymore.
For me I did what you did, I thought back to what did work for me. For me, I do well when I eat small meals during the day. I started this Jan. 1 and have had no problems sticking to it. I don't consider it a diet because it's real food and I don't feel pangs anymore. I did at first but it didn't take long.
I think food gets to be an addiction for some and I guess I just had enough of it. I realized that by binging, I was letting whatever was in that bag, bowl, or whatever decide my future, not me. That kind of made me sick and tired of the behavior. So: I really came up with a plan. It works for me and I would be willing to share it with you if you would like.
Let me say that I eat desert any day I want but as time goes by, I don't want to so much as I did. Still, it's nice to know I can if I feel like it. I also get up about 4:45 every day and am at work by 7:00. I am getting where exercising is getting a little easier. I have a very bad spine problem so I feel like if I can figure out how to exercise, anybody can!!! I hope you know I'm not chatting because it's all "good for me" it is meant to be a message to you that YES you can pull yourself out of this. Don't worry or beat yourself up about the past even if it was one cheeseburger ago. So what? You're human and it's a process.
Believe me, you can turn this around so fast you would be amazed. After over a month, it really is pretty easy because all that crap is out of my system. I already feel so much better which is incentive in itself.
I like to convert recipes and make them healthy. It's just a hobby. I'm going to start a recipe box or book because I've got my favorites and find new ones all the time. I would be happy to share some with you as you go through your change in lifestyle. Please don't think of it as a diet. I mean, shouldn't we just simply be eating in a healthy way? Doing that takes care of any weight in time.
Please get excited about this opportunity you have to turn your life around. Focus on being positive. Ask yourself what can you do right now to start this change? Make a list of healthy choices for yourself and pre-cook so that you have these healthy choices ready. If you need help with this, let me know. I will help you.
I wish for you that you look in the mirror, give yourself a big smile and forgive any past behavior. Tell yourself that you are worth this effort and then thank the lady in the mirror that has laughter through tears because she is going to save you!
Hugs,
Kathy