rude comments.......

Avatar for saej72
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
rude comments.......
11
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 1:26pm

so, we were supposed to have a girls (7 girlfriends from high school) get together this past weekend.

i didn't go. mainly babysitter issues etc..

well one of the girls.. whom i was best friends with during college, (lived in the same dorm room, gave her a ride to & from school on the weekends etc)..

well she made a comment that "Sara probably didn't want to come cause she is embarrassed about how she looks now"...

EXCUSE ME.....

I am not embarrassed about how I look.. yes i weigh about 175 more that i did 16 yrs ago when I was in high school.. but I accept who I am... And this "friend" has always been overweight her whole life.. (until just recently she has lost weight)

This so called "friend" I think is still po'd at me because when DH and I got married (in Sept 04) I didn't ask her to be my "maid of honor". (we did it in the courthouse, and didn't tell anybody but our parents/grandparents and the people who we had as witnesses and i had my bestfriend of mine be my witness)

do you think i should confront her about her comment or should i just let it slide???

Sara
342/315/200
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/samanthagrace/

Sara  

342-300-200

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 10:02pm
Who cares what she thinks? Don't feed the drama monster. Happiness is the best revenge.
Avatar for saej72
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 3:30pm

I did not say i am "happy" with my weight gain, i said i accept it,.
sure I want to lose weight and am currently trying, but i am not embarrased about how i look.. (although i don't flaunt my "stuff", i never have, even when i was "thin")I do not and will not hide inside my house becuase of my looks..
if my look offends you then DONT LOOK..

and i would expect a friend (who has been a friend since the 6th grade) to not talk about me in such a manor.

Sara
342/319/200
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/samanthagrace/

Sara  

342-300-200

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 7:03pm

Former poster here and

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 7:29pm

Sara,

Maybe your friend just thinks that you are embarrassed, and honestly didn't think what she said was offensive, or at least didn't mean it to be. I would be like you, upset, but sometimes we have to be the (excuse the pun here) bigger person and let it go. Frankly, I applaud you for not being embarrassed, I am embarrassed of my size and scared to death my kids are, I know I was kinda embarrasses by my mom growing up, but it was more the way she dressed than anything, now I tell her everyday I am sorry because I was so wrong. I know she gave up a lot for me back then, and I hope my girls know that but that fear is still there. As for size, well I can't help it because I am insecure, and for you not to be embarrassed means you are very secure in who you are. I applaud that.

Maybe before your friend lost the weight, she was like me and very insecure about her appearance and just can't imagine someone who accepts themself for who they are and the HECK with what anyone else thinks. Hopefully, her comment was in all innocence and not a shot at your friendship. My advice, tell her it hurt, but you are willing to let it go for the sake of a long time friend. Friends can hurt each other too and I lost a long time friend for a long time cuz of something stupid, now we talk about what bothers us so that it won't happen again.

I hope this helps.

Angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 9:41pm
I would try and talk to her about it.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 4:27am

Sara, I know where you're coming from. I want to lose the weight and look better, but that doesn't mean that I am embarrassed by the way I look.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Avatar for saej72
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 10:01am

Thank you everyone for all of your comments.
I think I'm just going to not bring it up and let it "slide off my shoulders"
she's the type of person that if i bring it up she'd hold an even bigger grudge and i don't want her to get upset at the person who told me about it.

and Caroline.. there is no need to not visit the boards again..
I appreciate your comments and your point of view.. no offense taken.

Sara
342/319/200
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/samanthagrace/

Sara  

342-300-200