Need to vent ... I am fed up with myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
Need to vent ... I am fed up with myself
8
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 11:11pm

This is my first time logging on to this board. And I am doing so to vent out my thoughts. I am frustrated, angry and fed up with myself.

I am 33 and weigh over 250lbs. I am fat and it is my own fault. I am so tired of listening to people blame others for their fat woes and then wanting a quick fix. I have known all my life what I have to do to lose weight. I have to stop eating junk and get off my butt and exercise. In the past 15-20 years I have lost the same 20lbs about 15 times. If I had done it all at once I would be set. My parents certainly didn’t make me fat. Society didn’t make me fate. And, McDonalds didn’t make me fat. (although their tasty breakfast sandwiches did not help the situation) I made the choices. I was lazy. It is time for that to change. I’ve been down this road before only to give up and walk away. (without the walking part of course) Just a couple years back I hiked down the Grand Canyon. I was walking between 4 and 10 miles a day to train for that hike. I did great … then I came back from the hike and got into my old ways. When I look in the mirror, I am not happy. I am fat. My face is fat. My body is fat. I would hate to see that mess from the inside. I want kids which is real challenge. I have fertility issues and I am working on that. But, that is not an excuse to sit on my butt just because I am going to gain weight. Quite the opposite. Because I am going to gain weight, I really should get moving. Not just for me, but for my future lil’ ones. I know what it takes. It is time for drastic changes. I need to walk in the morning and again at night. I need to slash my caloric intake. The saddest part is that I have known for years that I feel better when I exercise. Now isn’t that messed up. I feel like crap, I look like crap yet I sit and eat and don’t move which just makes me depressed. I know that if I start moving and start eating better I will feel great. Why then, don’t I just do it? So, this is where I start the battle. Only I can make the changes. I just need to dig deep inside and find the will.

Thanks for the venting forum. I feel better and ready to go. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 11:57pm

I know how you feel..
I have lost the same weight over & over again..
I exercise and start feeling good..
For what ever reason I get up one morning and give it all up..

It is a process I repeat far to often!

I am really trying hard this time to not only diet for my body but diet for my head..
I know that sounds dumb but.... that's really how I look at it.

It is more of a mental issue for me.

I started my diet 10 days ago.. I take it one day/meal/snack at a time..

I joined the gym ( AGAIN ) this week.. That was so hard for me.
Walking in that gym was painful .. Most people say that the other people at the gym really do not care how you look.. I see it like this.. I am the picture of the person that they do not want to become....

Also I live in a small town. I know most everyone at the gym. Some might say that is a good thing. I say ...that is more people to know I have failed at my diet again...
This falls in the area of my mental diet I guess..

Oh well I am rambling again..
My fingers are crossed for you.
I know we can do it!

260/260( scared to weight)/mini goal 230

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 7:21am
I know where you are both coming from. I too have the same story as both of you so I won't repete it. Gain weight and lose weight, a way of life. I don't know how to get the motivation either.
I have a membership to Curves that I was going to cancel today because I don't go. BUT I think I will give it another try. Thanks and good luck to both of you!! Stephanie 280/264/223 just for now
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 11:12am

Good luck to you, I am struggling to so I understand where you are coming from!!!!

Angela

 

Angela

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Avatar for rainlover711
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 11:23am

wow, this is exactly what I have been thinking lately!! i have been back and forth the past couple of years, getting motivated then giving up. the past month i have really changed my attitude and habits. i was (still am!) unhappy with my appearance and my effort to feel and look better. and i realized that i didn't have any more excuses to not get to work on it!! anything i tried to use an excuse just wasn't working. my bf and i made a challenge for myself - work out or do some sort of physical activity for 20 days in a row. i started, and the second day i didn't want to go to the gym, but i couldn't quit on only the 2nd day!! so i kept going, and now i'm on day 25!!!

it's the little things, honestly. i know it took me awhile to gain all this weight, so it'll take me awhile to lose it. and even if i don't see results right away, i know i'm making a difference because instead of sitting on the couch i'm walking around greenlake.

it's a lot of work, and it's hard, and it seems like no one understands or really supports you, but that's not true. we all understand!! and hopefully we all have at least one person to help support and challenge us!! that's what we need!!!

anyway, good luck to everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 9:37pm

Admitting how you feel is the first step to losing weight. Now take all that frustration and anger and channel into a LIFESTYLE change!

What is a LIFESTYLE change? It is a complete 180 degrees to how you are currently living and accepting the following three truths:

Truth number one: "Staying at a healthy weight is a lifestyle change. It is not temporary. It is forever."

Truth number two: "I have to eat healthy almost all of the time for the rest of my life."

Truth number three:"I have to exercise 5-7 times per week, 60-90 minutes per day for the rest of my life."

You sound like I was. You are angry enough to permanently change your lifestyle. I too lost weight. Once I lost 60 pounds and then gained back 40. Then I lost that 40 and gained back 70. 1/1/06 I decided to stop being obese (210 pounds) and PERMANENTLY lose weight.

You are at the right place. Now you have to find a plan that works for you. I chose Slim Fast because it's easy, convenient, tasty, portable and it totally satisfies my sweet tooth. I started an aerobic plan (walking and riding my indoor bike) and a weight lifting program (free weights and The Firm).

Start small. The first week, revamp your eating habits. Get ALL the crap out of the house. Buy some small clothes and get rid of half of your fat clothes. Week number two, start an exercise plan. Do 15 minutes 3x per week. The third week, do 30 minutes 4x per week. The fifth week, up it 45 minutes, etc.

And remember, you didn't gain your weight in 2 months so it's not going to come off in 2 months. Personally, I've love to lose 100 pounds. So it WILL take a YEAR. But I WILL do it.

As Yoda said, "Do or do not, there is no try." In other words, don't try to lose weight...DO LOSE WEIGHT.

You will lose weight if you want it enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 8:14am

dietblackcherry: I really like your attitude and your take on things.. I like the weekly plans you wrote.. I've been taking it slower than this, but maybe the problem is taking it far too slow.. I'll think about it.. Thanks!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 8:27am

To Jmd:


Most people know how to lose weight.. eat less and exercise more.. it's not a big secret right? But it's not just in the knowledge that gets you there.. it's a fight and it's a hard fight for us. We all know it is hard because we're fighting it and hopefully we're winning too. If it's only in the knowledge, then the whole world should be stick then, right? But it's not.. cuz there's a big struggle behind it.. and I have a feeling that you're willing to take that fight.


Just start something.. don't wait for the starts to fall in place or something.. just start. Even if you're not willing to, even if you think tomorrow is going to be a better day to start, or whatever other reason we give ourselves. Stop being so angry and start doing something. And I don't mean throw out all the food and make a vow not to eat junk again.. cuz we all know this is not going to last. Make slow lasting changes. Don't try to change a hundred things at a time.. you need to let the new habits sink in and be part of your life. There is no point in doing great plans and then ditching them in a few weeks. It's better to make smaller plans and stick to them.


I started around

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 6:24pm

I find that when my attitude is totally inline with losing weight, making smart eating choices is easier.

Personally, the only way I can lose weight is to EXERCISE which means aerobic (walking or bike riding) AND anaerobic (weight lifting and The Firm). The more I exercise the more I WANT to exercise.

But the key to exercise is to master one level before moving on to the next. Don't go "whole hog" or you're apt to tear something or hurt yourself. I had to work up to 1-1/2 hours per day of exercise. And it is a CHALLANGE. Some day soon, it will be a piece of cake!

I strongly reccomend a stationary, ergonomic bike. I put mine right in front of the TV on cold days, turn on the Price is Right and before I know it, an hour has flown by!