God! I'm hopeless!
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| Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:36pm |
Ok. I've been trying to do this for years, and each year I start, stop, and gain even more weight without realizing what I'm doing until I see a picture of myself or I can't get into something. I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. But I'm beginning to wonder if I pissed off Karma in some way because I keep doing myself in.
I started again for the millionith time this year to eat right, exercise, and finally lose all this fat and weight that has been making me miserable for years.
I joined a gym just in time to lose my job, so I had to give up my membership because I couldn't afford it. I started water-aerobics at my sister's pool, but got a massive ear infection and had to stay out of the water until it cleared up. I started walking just in time to become my father's 24/7 caretaker (he doesn't want to leave the house and he doesn't want to be alone for a minute, so I stay put). I bought a work-out tape so that I could exercise in the house, but now I've popped out my knee doing a lunge and I'm on "bed rest" until the swelling goes down. So now with all of my starts and stops, I've just come from the doctor's and my BP is up, my cholesterol is up, and my WEIGHT is up. I had fallen right back into sitting on my butt and stuffing my face in front of the tube again (when I'm not taking care of my Dad). I can't believe I've done this AGAIN!
How can I change the same destructive patterns that I've developed over my entire life span before I kill myself, and can somebody offer me a way to exercise at home that won't kill me in the process??????
Thanks for your help!
Debbi the 300lbs (was 280) Hammer Chick

Wow! It sounds like you have had a stroke of bad luck with exercising. The same thing sort of happened to me. I was working out with DH's aunt, but our passes ran out, and our car died. So, we had to buy a newer car, and I thought that I wouldn't be able to work out anymore. But, then about 2 weeks ago, she figured out a way for me to go. It was hard to start and stop like that, so I know how you feel......
Thanks for letting me vent. I've been to this board before and it's always been a great support.
I know there are A LOT of people out there dealing with a lot more important issues than my big butt, but I just get frustrated when it seems like every road block in the world keeps jumping up in front of me. Trying to get up and lose this weight is plenty road block enough for me. I don't need additional issues popping up that try to keep me from doing what is already hard to do.
I know that I'm giving myself a big pity party and I'll eventually snap out of it, but for right now I really appreciate the opportunity to just vent, share my feelings, and have your support.
Thanks again for listening.
Debbi
Right after I quit smoking, I was totally out of shape and at least 40 pounds overweight. I started doing Richard Simmons tapes. Here is a good one.
http://www.richardsimmonsstore.com/index.php?product=DVD12
Also, you have to get all the crap out of the house and replace it with good, healthy foods.
Look at change as a LIFESTYLE change.
Welcome to the board Debbi..
Don't worry, we don't get tired of hearing it.. so keep venting. It's not easy to lose weight.. it's pretty difficult and frustrating. And we need to deal with a lot of issues in the process and learn a lot of new habits. As we always say here, it's a lifestyle change.. and changing one's life is not very easy.
Here's an idea.. when you start this time.. don't stop. Even if you don't lose weight, even if the world is about to end.. don't stop. As long as you're not gaining, then it is success in itself. What's really bad is saying: "what's the point? I screwed up and I will continue screwing up" and then we abandon the whole thing and gain more weight. On the other hand, if we get back on the wagon just after we ate that cake or the whole bag of chips or whatever.. it becomes much easier to contain the damage and move forward.
And who said you need to exercise to lose weight? I lost 32 pounds so far by food control only. I am not saying that exercise is not important... and we all know that at a certain point you can't lose weight without exercising (I reached that point now).. but what I'm saying is that at the beginning it is doable without exercise. So don't give yourself that excuse.
I am sorry for such a long post.. and I am not sure if I'm making much sense (tough day at the office here and I haven't had a bite to eat all day).. but what I'm trying to say is: make a
Thanks, guys. You're right...this IS a life style change. I have to be conscience of my choices (what I eat, what I do or don't do) all of the time, else it's just too easy for me to fall right back into bad habits.
I am going to try the Richard Simmons tapes that were mentioned, but I will try not to be so demanding on myself. It's just that I guess I'm trying to lose this all over-night where it took me decades to gain it in the first place.
Thanks again for your wise words and the great "welcome (back)" that I've received. You guys are a life saver!
Debbi the "going to change my life style for good" Hammer Chick