Have you ever felt all alone...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Have you ever felt all alone...
6
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 11:13pm

in the world and like no one really cares what you feel and what you are going through, even though you know you have a few select people who really do? Does that even make sense?
Anyways, I feel like that quite often these days. Like why do I bother even trying to get any support because no one really cares. I know my husband does, I know my best friend does, and I know my parents do but at the same time I don't feel they really understand so I come to the internet hoping to find someone who does, yet I still don't feel like anyone does. I am not going to lie, the last few months have drained me emotionally, physically, and mentally. I have been sick non-stop and I know losing weight will help yet my health makes it difficult to exercise then I get frustrated and don't eat right or mostly in my case just OVEREAT!!
I am on the verge of seriously giving up on everything. I haven't gained any of the few measley pounds I lost back but I haven't lost anymore either. I haven't been back to the Y to exercise since I haven't been here either. I have been sick nonstop since in fact. The flu, a respiratory virus, a stomach virus, the flu again while I had the stomach virus. And I feel all alone in this. No one understands the difficulty of being sick constantly for four months. I hope and pray that when school gets out this ENDLESS cycle ends and hopefully I can get well over the summer, rebuild my immune system, get my breathing under control and concentrate on life again instead of just maintaining life. I think that the cycle is starting to break, I honestly don't know what else my five yr old can possibly catch now, she has caught everything there is to catch this year I think, and brought it home to me and her 21 month old brother.
Let's just suffice it to say I have been on a roller coaster and the operator refuses to let me off. I am so tired that the thought of starting to exercise again is daunting at the least but I have to do it. Now all that said, I am sure most of you don't even remember me even though it has only been a month or so since I last posted, but I just felt I had to say this to someone that hasn't heard it all before. I feel like I am emotionally draining my friends and family with my roller coaster ride. I thought venting this may make me feel better.

I would like to say congrats to all of you that have stuck to your guns and lost weight, I wish I had your willpower but alas once again I crashed and burned. I hope you all continue with your success.

Angela

 

Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 2:11pm

It all seems hopeless sometimes but you have to keep pushing. In 2001 I had a spinal fusion that left me partially disabled. My life is a struggle every single day. My outlook is this....I have to work hard to get the things I want. I work full-time and have lost 64 lbs since May 2005. Most people in my situation would have given up and gone out on disability and sat in front of the TV for the rest of their lives gaining weight and being miserable. Sure that's an option but what am I going to gain from that? Losing the weight was the best thing I could do for myself. And that's just it. There is no one that can help me but me. Sometimes I want to hide in bed all day and you know what? I do.......challenges like yours will only make you stronger. Hard to believe but it's true. I never thought for a moment that I could endure all that i have and still persevere. I live alone and I have a good support group that will do the things that I cannot do anymore and or ever will. It's depressing when I want to hang some blinds up to decorate the house and know that I can't because I can't climb a ladder. I wait patiently for some help from family or friends.

I just purchased a ticket to fly to Seattle which I haven't done in forever. My best friend lives there and I use to go so much prior to getting sick. The weight loss has given me so much more energy and opened doors that I thought were closed for good.

Hold your head up and fight this!!! You are strong to get through it. Remember back when you have had similar issues and you came out of it fine. You will again.

I hope this helps. We are all here for you and understand what you are going through. It may not seem like it but we do.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 9:35am

I posted a reply on Thursday, but

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 11:03am

Thank both of you for your response. I haven't given up yet though I sure feel like it most days. I mean I only lost a few pounds but like Mary said I got so sick there for a while that I ate whatever was given me or didn't eat at all. If I don't cook, most of the time it is fast food city for the rest of my family, who by the way don't have weight problems (well hubby is packing on a few lbs now but not much). I went back to the Y today, only walked like 22 min but I did lower body and ab and back exercises. I can't do upper body cuz when I tried that last time it really messed up my chest and got it to hurting bad so no more of that, I will work on the walking to help my upper body. Now I am trying to get back to eating good, that is my difficult spot there, I like bad food, I like fried food, and I love french fries, so eating is difficult but i am trying to get back to eat. Hey I eat subway for supper last night, that was a start, and I didn't have potatoes at bfast...LOL. But now I get to go grocery shopping and buy good stuff. My biggest challenge is learning to manage my stress and emotional eating. If I can overcome that it will be a HUGE step toward victory. I also got a puppy a week ago so that will help me get some exercise too cuz she will be a big dog that will require a couple walks of at least 30 min a day. Speaking of which she is asking for one of those walks now, so I bid you a good day.

Angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 9:51am

Angela.. I'm so happy that you're still with us!!


Great job with the exercise.. that's more than I get during an entire week LOL


About the fried food.. did you try the 'breaded & baked' stuff? My inlaws were visiting for the weekend and I made 'breaded & baked chicken' and they didn't have a clue it wasn't fried... Sara (saej72) just posted a recepie for that a couple of days ago in the

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 4:26pm

I have tried shake and bake not very good. I just try to grill more often but I have to be careful or I will overeat...LOL the only thing better than fried chicken is grilled foods. Can you tell I was born and raised in the south?? LOL I have done pretty good today, and trying to continue to do so even though I am having a craving for chocolate right now I am trying to avoid it at all costs. I have a bad headache today so chocolate is the last thing I need anyways. Just realized I haven't even had a diet coke today either, only tea and water. Cool, did it without thinking about it. So every little step in the right direction is a good one right?

Angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 4:08am
You're absolutely right.. every little step counts.. congratulations and keep going

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