Weight discrimination?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Weight discrimination?
14
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 6:38am

Have you ever felt that

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 1:29pm

Hi Mary,

I read this post a few times before responding, mostly because it was a big can o' worms. Short answer, oh yes!

It's really pervasive, and sometimes subtle, behavior, isn't it? The looks (at you, at what you're eating), the "well-meaning" but really just-plain-mean comments that even strangers feel they can foist on you, the assumptions about your intelligence and character... you're brilliant by phone, and hopeless once seen...

The spooky thing is, I play into this discrimination myself. I'm not "good enough" to go for jobs I'm well-qualified for, or get nice things, or expect decent treatment, until I lose weight. Yikes!

It does make for some silly stories, though! Like, back when I was 170 lbs. (overweight, yes, but not too bad), and at a conference. Let me say it, I was butt-kickingly good! A star! Much expertise and humor to share! And I overheard a woman saying how much she admired me (preen! preen!)...

(wait for it...)

"because it's so difficult for a heavy woman to look at all decent".

Thud. And chuckle, because I thought she just didn't get it... but maybe it's me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 2:58pm
Yes, lots of times. But the one that still gets me so mad today, is I was applying for a job, and it was a really good job. I had like 2 years experience in the exact thing I was applying for. My interview seemed to go really well, except for the fact that NO one in the building was big. And, the interviewer, I just was getting this weird vibe from her. So, I thought I would get the job. They had several openings, and everything. I never got a call back, and I never got a hold of the lady that I interviewed with to check on the job. But then come to find out, my DH's cousin, who was a cheerleader in high school...skinny, beautiful, the works. Got the job, and she has absoleutly NO experience in that type of field....strange isn't it? The way I coped with it, was I stopped looking for a job, and put my weight loss at the top of my goals.....I think its dumb. But, so not worth to persue in court because the could say any number of things.....I just think its unfair when so much of the U.S. population is overweight. And it seems like no one is really doing anything about. And that's what is annoying. Thanks for letting me vent!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 3:02pm

Please! I've experienced a billion times! I've been over 100 pounds overweight since I was 13! Job interviews I was more than qualified for, turned down because of my weight. I'll talk to someone on the phone, have a great conversation and than see their face shut down when they meet me!

Men who are more than willing to spend hours talking, on the phone, by e-mail and in the bedroom but don't want to introduce you to their friends.

People who assume because your overweight you must be stupid as well or that it means your lazy.

Weight discrimination is the only acceptable discrimination left! It's wrong to discriminate based on age, sex, religion, race or disability. But size? Why it's open season.

Weight discrimination happens constantly, just remember what THEY are assumiing about you based on your weight is NOT true!
I'm 35, gotten a college degree, attended grad school,I've been backpacking through India, malysia,and bangladesh, traveled to england, europe, ireland. Met faboulous people, have wonderful friends all over the globe. Met a wonderful man, married, have two great kids, own my home and have a job I love. And I've done it all weighing over 250 pounds!

So when I see people's faces close down at the size of me, I just think to myself "it's your loss! Your missing out on knowing a faboulous woman, who could be the best friend/employee/girlfriend you ever had. and I feel sorry for you!"
I may look like like very large lois lane on the outside but inside I'm superwoman!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 4:30pm

I just wanted to say I LOVED THAT POST. I wish I had your self esteem and confidence, then maybe just maybe I could deal with life with a little less stress and nerve racking. That was an amazing post especially the part about lois lane and superwoman...AWESOME

Angela

 

Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 5:23pm

Have had alot of different jobs, moved around alot. I've gotten to the point that when I walk through the door of the building, all I have to do is look around and if all the women I see are smaller than a size 12 I KNOW I won't get the job!Bank offices and real estate companies are the worst, I've found for discriminating against size!

Yes I've shed alot of tears over it, like you, but I keep looking. I'm a strong believer in destiny. MY last job search, I spent 2 months searching for a job, sent out almost 75 applications and resumes, got something like 15 job interviews! I was offered only 2 jobs! But the job I took turned out to become my dream job, and they love Me and totally appreciate my abilities. I got a huge promotion within a few months!
What's really funny is that one of people who turned me down (i'm sure because of my weight) works for a company that we do business with. It's always fun when I have to call her with a concern. Because she bends over backwards to be nice to me, because I make the decision about whether we continue to do business with her company or not!

Occasionally through meetings and such, I run into someone else I applied for a positin with. I always like to remind 'Oh, yes you probably don't remember but I interveiwed with you for the______position." They always look surprised, I look so different now with the weight loss. I can tell they are perplexed as to why it was that they didn't hire me!
I can't help giggling inside. Hoping they hired a skinny airhead who totally screwed up their accounts and records!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 11:38pm

What really ticks me off is these men who are not Adonis material by any stretch of the imagination, who are slovenly and have a huge gut hanging over their pants, but they only want blonde, petite, "perky" women...they must think they look dang good...whatever!


~Lori

    
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 11:33am

Today at the gym, I heard this guy and girl talking about another woman. She said that she was concious of her size (looked to be maybe 180 to 200 or so) but this other woman really should be of hers. Then they went on to say they thought the gym wasn't the best place for her due to her size.....HELLO. They thought she would be better off just walking around her neighborhood instead of coming to the gym where she could 1. talk to a trainer to decide the best exercise plan for her 2. have access to different types of exercise. And they mentioned she has kids which my gym offers childcare certain times of the day so she would benefit there too. I thought a gym was somewhere to go to get in shape and keep in shape, not just for those who deem theirselves gods and goddesses of fitness? Get for real folks, that is the WORST discrimination I have heard around here. YOu are too fat to go to the gym? It beats all I ever did see/hear.

Sorry but that kind of ticked me off. I mean I was right in front of them when they were saying it, I started to ask if they thought I was too big for the gym?? LMAO I bet they would have been shocked to hear that. I mean I ain't wasn't that much bigger than the girl that was saying all this but I bet I weigh a lot more (she was shorter than me). Oh well I said my piece, good day.

Angela

 

Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 1:08pm
I have to totally agree with you on that one. I belong to a gym, usually make it about 5-6 times a week. In the 2 months I have been going I have only seen 2 other "big" girls, like myself. And guess what, they stopped coming after one time. Because it really is like that. People at gyms think that its for the ones that can run and do weights for hours on end. I just wonder about that. Because it totally doesn't make sense. I would think as a skinny person, they would look at someone bigger and go "good for them, for trying to change their life, and be healthier." Not, "they don't belong here. This is for "serious" exercisers only." I hate the gym sometimes, but I always tell myself, I am here for me, not for them. I have seen the results from the gym, and I don't care if everyone is staring at my fat butt. Because its getting slowly smaller. And maybe by the end of the year, they won't be able to think I'm to big to come....its so annoying!!!!!! LOL!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 5:56am

I avoid going to the gym at all cost. This is why I bought a stationary bike at home and some free weights and I walk. Whenever I go to a gym to look around I cannot find any big ladies. I can feel the people looking at the 'fat woman that wants to lose weight' and thinking 'how many minutes shall she last before she decides to go back to the couch and eat some chips'.


I donno.. maybe by this attitude I am feeding into the stereotyping and discrimination of bigger women. Maybe because I feel that I'm an outsider, people start treating me like an outsider?


Still.. it's hard not to feel like an outsider when you have to hunt for days to find something good to wear for an interview...


which brings me to another vent: why is it so hard to find anything good to wear? Why are the designs for plus sizes have to be so hideous?? Why do I have to wear a potato sack? Who's designing these clothes anyway?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 6:57am
I absolutey LOVE my gym. I go to a planet fitness and they call themselves the Judgement Free Zone. The people there are EVERY SHAPE and size!! I used to go to a Gold's Gym and it was all muscle heads and these woman who had like 2% body fat. This place is great!! And at only 19.95 a month and they are open 24 hours. I highly recomment it if there is one close by any of you.



 Karen


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