New here & need help
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| Fri, 04-14-2006 - 10:56am |
Hi everyone,
I posted the following message on another board, but have not recieved any replies. I'm hoping for some speedy responses here. THANKS!!!
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Hi all,
I'm new to this board, and really hope you all can help. I'm almost 34 years old, and was extremely thin until about age 20-21. Since then, I have gotten married (22), had a son (29), was diagnosed with Lupus (30) and am now over 100 lbs. heavier than I was on my wedding day in 1995. I've been told that the Lupus could be part of it since I was always althletic, but have gradually had issues with fatigue and loss of energy. While I'm not placing entire blame on Lupus, I think it contributes to a degree. Although I was only diagnosed with Lupus in 2002, the doctor said I probably developed it in my early 20's.
I'm SO embarassed about the way I look, it has led to depression (for which I have started taking Zoloft). I have talked to my doctor about this rather extensively, but not much has happened. I have tried everything to lose weight including (but not limited to) Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, L.A. Weightloss, otc and prescription diet pills, along with all all the fads and plain old "smart eating" and excersice. At one point I worked with a nutritionist, but even though I followed strict menu, I only lost about 6 lbs in as many months. NOTHING has worked. I used to be able to lose a few pounds here and there, but always gain it back, and usually thensome. I drink socially, but not enough to gain weight from. I have even abstained from alchol for over 6 months in an effort to see if that helps - it didn't. I don't eat for emotional reasons (the weight gain started LONG before the depression) and actually prefer eating healthy foods as opposed to fast food or junk food.
I look and feel like I'm pregnant, but I'm not. My stomach is litterally round and firm like a pregnant woman, and I've even started to waddle! For the longest time I was SURE there was a tumor the size of a basketball in my stomach. When I mentioned this to my doctor, he just laughed (I'm sure it sounded ridiculous!) and kind of blew it off. I've since have certain testing done, and everything has come back normal. That being said, I've also gained weight on other parts of my body, but my stomach has by far been the worst, and most noticeable. I have a very strong history of heart disease and strokes in my family and am TERRIFIED I'm going to be next unless I can lose this weight and keep it off.
Edited to add: With regards to my stomach, I've also had SEVERE issues with bloating and diarreah - no constipation, just diarreah. I have talked to my doctor about that as well, but tests also came back negative. I even saw a gastrointerologist (sp?) and he did a scope test and declared I didn't have acid reflux. Um... I never thought I did! Once again, I feel my isses/concerens weren't properly addressed. In my opinion, there has to be a reason my stomach feels this way. From the bottom of my ribs to my pelvic region, it's one big fat lump. Is this "normal" for overweight people?
Aside from health concerns, I HATE HATE HATE the way I look. I almost always turn down social invitations because I'm ashamed of the way I look. My marriage is suffering (my husband is extremely physically fit) and my son doesn't have a mom that can easily play with him b/c I have no energy and I get so winded. I have even looked into gastric bypass surgery, but it seems I don't qualify - not quite heavy enough I was told (I'm 5'6" and weigh about 245 lbs.). I'd like to get down to 130. I feel SO lost and hopeless, I don't know what to do anymore. PLEASE HELP! I'm so ashamed...

I'm so sorry you feel so badly. I'm a happy person who has never been depressed or ashamed of my weight (right now I'm 5'4" and 255) so I can't help you there, but for the tummy trouble I may have a clue! I have a condition called IBS which causes my jolly, jelly belly to turn hard and bloat when I have an attack. My attacks are extremely painful as well. People suffer differently with IBS I've learned, including problems with diarrhea and constipation (either or both). I take Zelnorm & Nexium and am doing well with those drugs.
Good Luck!
Mary Anne
Gosh! You totally have my support! I know how you feel about worrying that something is wrong with you. I had that to. At 320 pounds, I was having constant anxiety attacks every night, Sure that I was going to have a heart attack, get diabetes, or something else. Terrified that I wouldn't live to see my children grown up.
How can blame us for feeling that way, every time you turn on the TV there is some newshows doing a story about the obsety epidemic and how it's killing you. If they aren't doing a story on that, it's about women and heart disease!
It was awful, I felt persucuted in a way for being fat! Though I had no history of any heart problems or diabetes in my family, I was sure I was going to die at any moment!
I've lost 82 pounds, (though I'm alot thinner, I'm still considered obese) but I still get anxiety attacks terrified I'm having a heart attack or have cancer. My doctor says I'm in great health but I can't shake the fear!
I see a therepist, and now if I come across an article on heart disease and women, or health problems associated with obesity I quickly turn the page, and if a tv show starts to talk about those issues I change the channel!
You should definetly check into the Irratable Bowel Syndrome. Start surfing the internet and researching your questions on your own.
Also GET A NEW DOCTOR! Maybe if we all switched doctors who poo-poohed our concerns because we are obese they'd wake up and start to take our problems seriously!
Listen to my story; Last time I went to the doctor, I was having a really bad series of anxiety attacks. I had scheduled a visit with my doctor hoping a full physical and a clean bill of health would ease my fears and help me to overcome the attacks.
I went to the doctor and he examined me and ordered some blood work. I went next door to the lab after the visit and had the blood work done. This was around noon. I had eaten breakfast and also a snack before the visit.
The next day his nurse calls me saying they got the results, and I'm insulin resistant! Than she says the doctor wants to put me on medication. I said "Hey, what? What is it? What does it do?" and asking her all these questions. She pauses and says she'll have the doctor call me back. So the hour I'm waiting to hear from the doctor I get on the internet and start reading about insulin resistance. And what i"m reading says that the only way to test for it, is first with a fasting blood sugar (which I did not have) than follow that up with a series of blood sugars taken over something like 7 hours throughout the day. Than it goes on to say, that if you do have it the best treatment is to lose weight, losing 10% of your body weight is enough to reverse it! Well I HAD LOST 20% AT THAT TIME!
Finially the doctor calls back, and starts to explain to me what insulin resistence is. I stop him and say "How do you know I have it?" He says it's based on a fasting blood sugar. I explain to him that I had NOT been fasting, and in fact ate right before his visit. He did not ask for me to fast! He misses a beat and says "Oh I didn't realize that." I asked him what my blood sugar was. He says "104" than he goes on to say that if I wasn't fasting that was a really good blood sugar level! Than he apologizes and says I don't have it, and that according to the tests I'm perfectly healthy!
See that's how they stereotype us! He saw a fat person, he didn't bother to read his own records. He had probably decided I had to be diabetic or insulin resistence before he even ordered the blood work, because of my size!
And if I hadn't read up on it myself and questioned his diagnosis, I would be on medication I don't even need!
I would love to be able to help you, your story is very touching. I wanted to ask if you ever tried cleansing your body? I've been able to help many people jump start their weightloss the healthy way and many have been able to stick to it and lose a significant amount of weight. What I'd like to do is give you this website, it's just a hall of fame if you will of people who have had remarkable results with our cleansing program. Some have lost 100lbs and even 200lbs! If you feel you would like more info, please email me directly. I'm not here to solicit so I won't post a site. My email address is lose7in9@yahoo.com. The website you will want to check out is www.weightlosshalloffame.net The stories do get quite emotional, some of them. I wish you the best and hope that I can be of help to you.
The best time to lose weight is when you are totally disgusted and motivated and ready to make a permanent lifestyle change. You sound like you're at that point.
First, get all the CRAP out of the house. If it's not there, you can't eat it.
Next is to find an eating plan. Personally, I like the Slim Fast plan because it's easy, affordable, tasty, convenient and it works. Implement your healthy eating plan.
Start an exercise plan. Eventually your body will crave movement every day and exercise will be as normal as brushing your teeth.
Losing weight requires burning more calories than you consume. It's a challenge, but in the long run your LIFE depends on it.
I knew it was time to lose weight when my knees were killing me, I was all sweaty and gross (in the WINTER time) and I had to wedge myself into an office chair.
You WILL lose weight if you want it bad enough.
Hi and welcome to the board.. I'm sorry that you're feeling so down.. I hope we can offer you the support that you want..
I have limited knowledge when it comes to the medical field, so this may be completely off track, but I'm just giving my opinion:
It seams that you tried a lot of times with different diets and didn't get much results. I'd say there might be something physical. You say you discussed it with your doctor, then at least you got your thyroid checked, right? He may be missing something though. There are a lot of stuff that may not cause obesity, but hinders the efforts to lose weight (like PCOS for example). I would say take a second opinion from another doctor.
You also say that you're on Zoloft. Many anti-depression medications cause weight gain as a 'minor' side effect. I understand that you've been gaining weight before that, but it might be a contributing factor now. Are you taking any other medication? If so, look into the side effects.
Also, when you go on a 'diet', do you really follow it exactly? I mean I count calories, but if I don't journal I discover that I'm underestimating what I eat. I would think I am doing really great, but once I sit down and caculate it, I see that I"m way over my calorie range. Maybe you can look into journaling?
Please update us!