Aggravated....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Aggravated....
15
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 11:12am

Why does family get togethers have to be soooo hard? Every holiday we get together I have had to endure my sister in law and her family putting me down for my weight and what I eat. She is pencil thin and has always had the audacity to try to tell me what I should and should not be eating like she has a clue, she eats whatever she wants. Well yesterday, I didn't eat any bread and only a wing out of the fried chicken and not ever all of it. Then I ate some veggies and turkey and DID NOT finish all on my plate, I drank nothing but water, yet something was still said to me about my size. Okay it wasn't her this time but her insepid mother. My brother was teaching me to drive my nephew's dirt bike, something I have been wanting to learn but scared to do. She told me I was too fat to be on it, HELLO my youngest brother weighs just as much as I do but she didn't say nothing to him about riding it. For christ sakes do you have to be rude when you are joining MY FAMILY for a holiday?? Then she went on to say didn't I realize how much weight I need to lose and how much better I would feel if I did?? NAWWWW I don't realize that at all...I don't have a clue how fat I am or how disgusting I look?? I just battle with the feelings of disgust everday but I ain't trying to do a thing about it. FOR GOD"S SAKE, was it not a good thing that I was out playing instead of huffing and puffing on a freaking inhaler the whole day, and that I was laughing and joking and trying to do things versuses sitting in a freaking corner by myself cuz I didn't feel like joining in??? I mean usually the kids play ball and my hubby and I get out there with them and play but this year it was the dirtbikes so we all took turns riding and my brother was teaching me and my daughter how to drive them but yet still I ain't trying to do anything about my weight like I am just sitting around stuffing my face 24/7 and not getting active?? I HATE Family get togethers, I really do. I am about to the point of telling my parents I will come see them but don't care about getting together with the rest of the family.

BUT on the other side of the issue it has ticked me off bad enough that I want to lose a significant amount of weight between now and the 4th of July. I just have to make myself do it the right way. SO I got up and worked out then come home and eat bfast for a change. Now I am determine to eat good the rest of the day and drink my water. SO here I go again trying hard for a change but still not willing to tell my family I am on a "diet" for fear of failing yet again and because I don't want them ogling every bite of food I put in my mouth. That drives me up the wall by the way. Sorry this got so long but I had to blow off some of the steam. Good for me though I fought the desire to chunk it all and say I can't do it this time around.

Angela
256.5 praying for 200

 

Angela

image

Pages

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 12:10pm
Hey, girlfriend, you're AWESOME!
Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 4:28pm

Thank you for all those sweet comments. I guess what bothers me is she married my brother when I was 4 and has hated me all this time though I have never done anything to her. I chalked it up to jealousy becuz let's face it my brother spoiled me rotten and took me EVERYWHERE, and her oldest daughter is more like my sister than my neice, but how can you hate a child just because they are getting more attention than you?? I thought we were finally past that but I guess it comes out at family get togethers on account my brother pays me and my kids so much attention. Hello, my kids are the youngest ones there of course they get all the attention...LOL, the rest of the grandkids/neices/nephews are pratically grown so.........(I am the youngest of 6 kids so there is a big age gap between me and above brother). Anyways, I just didn't even sleep good last night I was so furious and now I am exhausted, but I have been a very good girl today and I am fighting those evening munchies VERY HARD, someone reach over and slap me out of wanting chocolate sooooo badly, or just absently munching on anything. PLEASE!!!!

Angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 6:30pm

Next time, embarass her in front of the entire family and tell her very calmly and politely, "My weight and dietary comsumption is none of your concern. I'd appreciate if you would refrain from any further comments. Thank you."

If she persists, ignore her. She's rude and obnoxious and shouldn't be given any more attention than necessary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 8:19am

Angela, you're a terrific woman and you shouldn't let these folks upset you. To hell with what she thinks or says.. this is YOUR life. You have the right to enjoy it to the fullest. Regardless of the size, everyone meets people that want to put him down. Let it be jealous, back stabbing for career advancement, simple rudeness, you name it. We can't let these episodes break us, we just get stronger and move on. And this makes us better people.


You are doing a great job. It is GREAT that you didn't need to use the inhaler. It is GREAT that you got involved in all the activities and enjoyed your time. It is GREAT that you're sticking to good eating despite the holidays and the gathering (I know I couldn't do this). And it is GREAT that you are using this

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 9:05am

LOL well for the record it wasn't my mil it was my brother's mil. And I did get quite sarcastic with her and she got the point cuz she looked at my mother and said well I didn't mean anything by it...My mother politely said well if she didn't have to take all those darned steroids she might not have gained so much weight...LOL
I just looked at her and said Really you don't think I know all this already and I am not trying??
As many problems I have with my MIL my weight is one she has NEVER said anything about unless I mention it first and it is tips she has tried or heard about to lose the weight.
My dad has said stuff but as jokes and I know he honestly don't mean anything by it, He is overweight himself and well I have a tendency to joke about my weight myself sometimes to try to make certain people know I understand I am fat and they don't have to tell me. Fortunately with my daddy it doesnt' really bother me cuz I know it is in jest and not a serious thing. Yes he bluntly told me he wished I could/would lose the weight for my health, cuz he thought I would feel better if I did but he left the seriousness at that. NOW if only he would take that into consideration when we are all eating down there and not have to have all the fried southern food I love so much......LMAO. He refuses to eat anything baked except turkey and ham. LOL and he prefers that fried too. LMAO
OKay now my whole family with the exception of my sis and oldest bro are overweight, and since they hit 40 they have packed on a few lbs too but not overweight yet. My momma and daddy aren't too bad, they are almost 70 and she did have 6 kids so she deserves it. LOL my youngest brother is just as big as I am however, only a lot of his upper body is muscle yet he doesn't get these comments...WHY IS THAT?? Why do people let weight issues slide with men a lot more than with women? Just a curiousity. (BTW my other bro isn't far behind us in weight either)
Oh well, Who knows, I am calmer now and like you said fuel for the fire, I am determined to lose 40 lbs by July 4th if at all possible. If I don't I won't kill myself over it but i will beat myself up kinda badly. If I can at least lose 30 I won't even do that. WIsh me luck, I NEED IT!!!!!

Okay going to fix bfast....

angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 6:24pm
I LOVE this advise -- i was trying to think of a nice way to suggest this and I am just so angry--this hurts so much when it happens I hate that it happened to Angela. Thank you for being a cool head.
Valerie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 6:43pm

Angela,

I am so sorry your brother's mother-in-law (who apparently just noticed your weight issue) couldnt keep her big yapper shut. (that felt good)

I am so mean about this cannot stand people who just dont get it.
My first thought is to ask her if she left her editor at home. (you know the one that keeps you from saying STUPID things)
Or put her right on the spot -- why she wants to hurt and embarass you --- does she get off on that --- cause if she really really cared about you and really really wanted what was best for you she might carefully approach you in private... certainly I feel she would want that treatment for HER daughter.

You are doing so well not having to use and aspirator is a big deal (DH has asthma and wow it would be great to see him off that thing) being able to keep up with others - - being brave enough to participate --- YOU GO !!!!

Valerie
328/313/150

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 7:05am
I am so glad that you're feeling better now. Good luck with your goal.. you can make it!!

Image hosting by Photobucket




Image hosting by Photobucket

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 12:47pm

THANK YOU ALL!!!!! ya'll are great to compliment me like that but I keep looking to see who you are talking to...LMAO I sure didn't feel like all the things you said I was just so angry my temper blew and I really had no control over what I was saying...LOL I get like that, blame it on the irish in me, ya know that darned irish temper...LOL!!!

Thank you all for the great comments.

Angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2006
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 6:58pm

Angela,
I'm not sure I can add anything to what's already been said, but ....

YOU are a wonderful, caring person and don't you forget it! :) you were one of the first to offer your friendship and understanding at a time when I was feeling my lowest. You didn't pass judgement or make me feel any less off a person.. unlike the rude, "well-intentioned" family you recently dealt with. When I read your post it made me so angry that I had to give myself a day to respond so I didn't say a few choice words. As if what we're all trying to do isn't hard enough without people whom are supposed to love you no matter what, treat you like you aren't good enough or you're not trying hard enough??? grrrr! I think you handled yourself very admirably. Had I been there, she probably would still be trying to pull her head from her rear!

hugs :)
jess

My First 10% of Body Weight

Pages