I feel myself slipping......(rambling)
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 04-26-2006 - 9:23am |
I am fighting but I can feel my self slipping. I ain't depriving myself but I feel as though I am and I am getting that feeling of I just want to eat whatever whenever not have to time it so I don't go over my calories. Now why do I feel this way, The twist is I feel like this cuz starting friday I have been over 2000 calories everyday, yet last week I did so good and stayed below 1600 cal for 3 days. I feel like I am not exercising enough so why bother with it at all? I know this is crazy but I don't know what is wrong with me. Right now my nerves are so on edge and I have been snapping at my family and moody and I don't know why. The way I feel makes no sense it is like PMS major time when it is the WRONG time. Has anyone else ever felt like this before? It just hit me last night!!
Anyways, I am determined not to give up and NOT TO gain back those few precious lbs I lost. For my mind's sake I have to make it past that 20 lb mark, I have to do this for me, to prove to myself I can. You know I keep saying I want to prove it to others but truth be known I need to prove it to myself. I feel a little more stable right this second nerve wise, let's see how I feel when the storms hit here and when my dd's get home. I hope I remain calm and don't snap at them anymore. They don't deserve it. I ended up telling DH I was going to lock myself in the bedroom for a while to calm my nerves and left him with all 3, and of course they were on the WORST behavior so he had to deal wiht it then..>LMAO
I am going to rest today, I was supposed to go to the gym but with these storms that are SUPPOSED to be hitting us any min I don't want to get DS out in it, and I am hurting today so probably best not to push it. Thought I may look up some strength exercises I can do here and then go walk tommorrow to make up for today. Biggest thing to do is to watch my calories. Sorry about all the vents, ramblings, and just plain carrying ons (whining) but I find if I put things down on paper/computer it helps me to feel better. At least putting it on here I can get feedback from you guys.
Angela

Thanks a lot Lori. It is appreciated. I feel a little better right now, evenings is when I want to eat everything in the house though so I am determined not to do that today. NO Ice cream, no hershey's, drink water, and stay under 1630 cal, that is my goals for today. I can do this!!!!
Angela
Angela
Angela *hugs tight* - Yes, I know exactly what you mean. The snapping and the anger and the feeling like you are depriving even though you arent. And I found that it happens to me when I start obsessing on what I'm doing. If I constantly think about the loss, what I have loss so far, what my next goal is, what my next meal will be, what I shouldn't have but want... That is when I start to get overwhelmed, angry and even scared. The scary feeling in the pit of my stomach that... omg, I'm not going to do this, I have no will power and what about when I'm stressed and just want to pig out, I won't be able to ever do that again. (That fear is my biggest fear - obviously I'm an emotional eater with stress. - When I'm hurt, I'm the opposite and can't put a thing in my stomach)
I step outside - cause it's spring here and I love spring. I take a deep breath then go back in and just stop. I just stop thinking about it, and I take a bath or vaccuum or play hangman with my DS - or play on the computer - my favorite RPG. Once I got one of these things on my brain, I realized I have stopped obsessing and am ready to continue.
I wish you all the best, Angela :) And writing your thoughts out to gain more control is fantastic! You want to do this, obviously, and I know you will get that control back.