Angry with myself.....
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| Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:58am |
Well I blew last week big time. I was on the downhill slope of the rollercoaster and i crashed off the tracks. I couldn't stop eating, I was literally hungry. I tried the half hour trick, drink something, all that and I was still hungry non stop. I would eat and my tummy would still growl. What is up with me? I have no idea and no it isn't that time. I still have a good 2 weeks left before that. BUT this is a new week, I weighed in, took measurements and I am not happy at all but I have decided that I am going back on my strict diet that is hard to get the 1200 calories in that the dr requires me to stay above (he is worried about my immune system weakening if I go below) but by gosh I am going to try. I may have to tweak it a bit to keep from crashing off it and to keep at or above 1200 calories but it is very low fat and the fat I do take in will be mostly good fat. I lost 11 lbs in a week and a half before so if I can stick to it and stick to the exercising as well then I should be able to get past my 20 lb mark. if I can ever get past that mark, I pray I can keep going. I have NEVER made it past 20 lbs before so this is going to be a real test for me. I have plenty of chicken in the house, and some fish, now all I need is some turkey, cuz this diet restricts red meat for 6 weeks. IT also restricts bread and dairy so that will be hard, but I think I can tweak it to where it is more like south beach which allows me to have cheese at least cuz I need the calcium. I also have supplements so I hope I can get calcium that way. Mom has osteoporosis and I don't want to risk that so I watch my calcium levels.
Okay I am rambling now....I will stop and just ask that you all think of me/wish me luck in my struggle. This is proving to be so hard for me even though I have the determination this time I am still lacking some willpower to stick to it. I haven't given up like I normally would. I would normally crawl into my hole and disappear ashamed of myself, but I REFUSE TO GIVE UP this time. I was doing good and I just don't knwo what happened to me this last week. I even drank alcohol 2 x in a week. I rarely EVER drink. Did it relax me, heck no. that was the plan but didn't work. so here I am ready to start over again before I gain all 7 lbs I lost back.
Starting point:
May 8, 2006
Weight: 256
Okay this is embarrassing but I am going to post my inches too so I can keep myself honest.
Bust: 47.5
Waist: 41
Hips: 52
Angela

Thanks Brenda, I am trying to dust myself off. I have 3 sick kiddos so I won't be going to the gym today so I have to look for a different version of exercise. In fact I didn't go to the gym last week either but I was doing so much other stuff that I got my exercise in without thinking. The zoo, yardwork, etc etc. I will be swimming this weekend if this blasted cold is completely gone by then so that will help. Good luck to you getting back on track.
Angela
Angela
Angela,
The whole thing is a journey, so please don't beat yourself up for taking a little detour on the road. It seems like you have the motivation to get yourself back on track and I'm sure things will work out for you. And I'm with you on the 20-pounds thing. I feel like if I can stick this out and lose that first 20, that by itself will give me the motivation to lose the other 80! LOL
Don't give up!
Holli
but whats good you realized and hopped back on track,
that takes alot of willpower!
The last time I failed at me dieting(3 years ago)was I cheated
over the weekend and never could get back on track then
years after I would say god intended me to be fat so be it!
Which later on I realized that I was miserable and didnt want to feel
that way anymore or sit back and wait for all the health problems
to kick in.So anyway point is congrats on realizing and getting back
on track.(winks) NIAPAGE
Hi Angela! I'm sorry to hear you've hit a rough patch. The diet will be hard, but I have faith in you.. you CAN do it! you're showing great strength and determination. Posting your weight and inches to keep yourself honest is a good way to go. you're in my thoughts and I definitely wish you the luck, strength and courage to keep plugging away at your goal
hugs!
jess
My First 10% of Body Weight
Thanks Laura, I know I can, and to be honest I feel a WHOLE lot better about me than I did this morn. Going to post about my day when I finish reading and responding.
Good luck, and sorry you had an argument with him, I know that one well lately myself. I ahve been on edge and dh and I have been having it out as well.
Angela
Angela
Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I really appreciate them.
Angela
Angela
It looks like a lot of us are facing this lately (me included).. we're just eating