Angry with myself.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Angry with myself.....
10
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:58am

Well I blew last week big time. I was on the downhill slope of the rollercoaster and i crashed off the tracks. I couldn't stop eating, I was literally hungry. I tried the half hour trick, drink something, all that and I was still hungry non stop. I would eat and my tummy would still growl. What is up with me? I have no idea and no it isn't that time. I still have a good 2 weeks left before that. BUT this is a new week, I weighed in, took measurements and I am not happy at all but I have decided that I am going back on my strict diet that is hard to get the 1200 calories in that the dr requires me to stay above (he is worried about my immune system weakening if I go below) but by gosh I am going to try. I may have to tweak it a bit to keep from crashing off it and to keep at or above 1200 calories but it is very low fat and the fat I do take in will be mostly good fat. I lost 11 lbs in a week and a half before so if I can stick to it and stick to the exercising as well then I should be able to get past my 20 lb mark. if I can ever get past that mark, I pray I can keep going. I have NEVER made it past 20 lbs before so this is going to be a real test for me. I have plenty of chicken in the house, and some fish, now all I need is some turkey, cuz this diet restricts red meat for 6 weeks. IT also restricts bread and dairy so that will be hard, but I think I can tweak it to where it is more like south beach which allows me to have cheese at least cuz I need the calcium. I also have supplements so I hope I can get calcium that way. Mom has osteoporosis and I don't want to risk that so I watch my calcium levels.
Okay I am rambling now....I will stop and just ask that you all think of me/wish me luck in my struggle. This is proving to be so hard for me even though I have the determination this time I am still lacking some willpower to stick to it. I haven't given up like I normally would. I would normally crawl into my hole and disappear ashamed of myself, but I REFUSE TO GIVE UP this time. I was doing good and I just don't knwo what happened to me this last week. I even drank alcohol 2 x in a week. I rarely EVER drink. Did it relax me, heck no. that was the plan but didn't work. so here I am ready to start over again before I gain all 7 lbs I lost back.

Starting point:
May 8, 2006
Weight: 256

Okay this is embarrassing but I am going to post my inches too so I can keep myself honest.

Bust: 47.5
Waist: 41
Hips: 52

Angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 11:25am
I had one of those kind of wks too but it was AF. I couldn't stop eating. I'm up 2lbs. I can tell you to not beat yourself up but we know that we do. I'll tell you what you should have been a fly on my walls this weekend. I just didn't
 
 
 
 

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 12:00pm

Thanks Brenda, I am trying to dust myself off. I have 3 sick kiddos so I won't be going to the gym today so I have to look for a different version of exercise. In fact I didn't go to the gym last week either but I was doing so much other stuff that I got my exercise in without thinking. The zoo, yardwork, etc etc. I will be swimming this weekend if this blasted cold is completely gone by then so that will help. Good luck to you getting back on track.

Angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 3:28pm

Angela,
The whole thing is a journey, so please don't beat yourself up for taking a little detour on the road. It seems like you have the motivation to get yourself back on track and I'm sure things will work out for you. And I'm with you on the 20-pounds thing. I feel like if I can stick this out and lose that first 20, that by itself will give me the motivation to lose the other 80! LOL

Don't give up!

Holli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 3:58pm
Sorry to hear ablout the crashing we have all did it,
but whats good you realized and hopped back on track,
that takes alot of willpower!
The last time I failed at me dieting(3 years ago)was I cheated
over the weekend and never could get back on track then
years after I would say god intended me to be fat so be it!
Which later on I realized that I was miserable and didnt want to feel
that way anymore or sit back and wait for all the health problems
to kick in.So anyway point is congrats on realizing and getting back
on track.(winks) NIAPAGE
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 4:31pm
Angela, Keep up the great work! NEVER give up on this. I'm almost to my most weak point, but your post really put it into perspective for me. DH and I had a bad argument last night and of course today I've stuffed my face. We've resolved it and things are better, but my body is really feeling all the left over tension and stress. I'm getting back on my workouts this week too. So I know that will help. I'm thinking I might start posting my measurements as well. I think it kinda keeps the truth right in front of your eyes and then you can watch those numbers go down. Anyway, I just want to say that you're gonna do fine! Keep at it and stay positive. You know you can email me whenever you need a little extra push, ok???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 5:33pm

Hi Angela! I'm sorry to hear you've hit a rough patch. The diet will be hard, but I have faith in you.. you CAN do it! you're showing great strength and determination. Posting your weight and inches to keep yourself honest is a good way to go. you're in my thoughts and I definitely wish you the luck, strength and courage to keep plugging away at your goal

hugs!
jess

My First 10% of Body Weight

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 6:36pm

Thanks Laura, I know I can, and to be honest I feel a WHOLE lot better about me than I did this morn. Going to post about my day when I finish reading and responding.

Good luck, and sorry you had an argument with him, I know that one well lately myself. I ahve been on edge and dh and I have been having it out as well.

Angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 6:38pm

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I really appreciate them.

Angela

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 8:08am

It looks like a lot of us are facing this lately (me included).. we're just eating

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 12:44pm
i had this same problem !eating just to be eating !so now i broke it down to six meals a day.i eat breakfast of course that's a must !but small portion's !which was hard at first;then two hour's later i'll have a low-fat snack or fruit.then lunch of course something reasonable like grilled chicken on one slice of whole wheat.then another snack low-fat of course.then at dinner i'll eat a salad then my meal. you tend to get fuller faster if you eat the salad first .and depending on the salad you eat! a majority of salads are considered fat free foods.then make you evening snack, fat-free snack preferable! fruit since most diet's prefer three fruit's a day.the best thing i like about this ,is if your used to constantly eating anyway's.just make the meal's smaller six times and you'll eventually eat smaller portion's before you know it you'll realize your full and did'nt over endulged.trust me this has work for alot of people who started off overeating.