Been a little down and out but ........
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| Sat, 05-13-2006 - 1:59pm |
I am holding strong. I thought that yesteday was going to have been really bad so needless to say I was impressed with myself when I stayed right at 1600 calories for the day. GOt to go to mil's house and might be eating there so the rest of the day shouldn't be too difficult. She cooks fairly healthy and Well she always fixes a lot of stuff I don't like (she caters to the kids and that is fine) so I won't eat much, I never do. I was hoping to go swimming while there for extra exercise but it turned cold and it is rainy/occasional stormy weather here so NO swimming but oh well.
Why do I feel down and out....well I am not sure, I have been thinking about that all morn and the only thing I can figure is it is Ds's bday next month and he will be 2. What most of you don't know about me is I lost a baby right before ds, that baby would be 3 next month as well SO.....it still bothers me sometimes, and I think that is what is going on. It was an unconcious thing but it hit me today when I started bawling while watching a tv show about babies that HELLO that is why I feel sooooo badly. I guess it is a sign that it is getting a little better since it wasn't concious thought in my brain at first. Now that I know what it is I can think and sort out my emotions and work through it. I don't talk to folks around here about it cuz well they think since the baby was never born I shouldn't mourn it anymore but they have never lost a baby obviously. Everyone that I know that has lost one understands, but still I try not to talk about it much (I would talk to my mom but she knows exactly how it feels to lose a child and gets upset herself so.....). Well I will hush now considering I am rambling.......
I hope you all have a good day, and if this weather would let up I would too....LOL
Good luck staying on track.
Angela
256/252/200

if your lil 1 wasn't born to not have feelings for him/her
its a mothers natural instink to feel that way especially
thinking about it more being mothersday tomorrow.
My aunt is going through something simalar she has 3 boys
and she miscarried about 4 years ago(boy) she was a little
over 4 months and shes visiting his grave tomorrow.
She still cries about him (joseph).
I would to if I had that happened. Just try your best to not
let food take over when your upset, I tend to do that and I have
been trying to go for a walk or take a hot bubble bath/shower
when I feel upset.
Well I wish you all the luck and you'll get through today!
Have a good weekend and mothers day! NIAPAGE
I am sorry that you're feeling down.. at least now since you know why you're sad, you can somehow work through your feelings. I haven't lost a child myself, so I don't claim to understand what you're going through. I hope you're feeling better now...
On another note, did you plan anything for your son's bday yet? Maybe this can make you feel better.