How I am doing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
How I am doing...
5
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 12:48pm

Well first let me thank all of you for your support and kind words. I am still struggling to get back on track, I am still a bit angry but trying hard to let go of it. I know it isn't doing me any good nor anyone else. I did do good today, I turned down cake and cookies at dd5's honors program. I am drinking my water, and I am trying to stay low on the calorie train today. I am proud that I didn't crawl into that little hole I keep on reserve. I guess you can say I was angry at the world cuz my heart got broken Sunday. By DD12 and Dh. Why is it so hard to show those you love how much they mean to you? DD12 never even acknowledged me Sunday until she was told to. Yea that makes a mother's day right there. Dh well he didn't even give me a card or offer to cook me dinner or take me out or nothing. SO all in all I just felt completely unappreciated by those two. DD5 woke me up bright and early (630 AM) to say Happy Mother's day, then ds was so loving all day and kept saying "my momma, mine" It was cute, but lo and behold I couldn't let go of the fact that the oldest 2 members of my family did NOTHING for me. It really broke my heart. My darling brother pretty much made me feel unwelcome at my mom's so all in all it was like everyone I love was out to hurt me (at least the ones old enough to know and understand). I am very big on holidays, always have been, and I have always made mother's day a big deal for my mom and mil, but no one made it a big deal for me and I felt betrayed.
Okay I am rambling so onto another topic. DD5 got an award for her creativity, and now she and Ds and I are home alone and just relaxing. To make up for the bad week she put me almost in tears with the "stories" they wrote. ALL of hers had to do with her mommy and how much she loves her mommy. Yea I almost cried right there in front of everyone, but I wasn't the only mom who almost did. Her friends mom almost did too sitting there with me listening to everything they were saying and everything the teacher was saying. What can I say I am get emotional with age. LOL
I can feel my anger fading and I am glad. Dh knows he messed up big time and to give him credit where credit is due he is putting forth and effort to be extra nice to me. If only it would last..LOL what is it with men?? They mess up then they are really sweet and caring for a few weeks then they turn back into well men. I will NEVER understand them.
My eating has still been awful, last night was REALLY bad, and I don't know WHY I did it, but I got fast food, after I had eaten a few bites of the supper he cooked (spaghetti and I don't really care for spaghetti). BUt I awoke with new determination, which is how I got started last week so hopefull I will get back on track now and STAY there. I really need to get back to the gym but there is so much going on this week I don't know how I wiill find the time. This is the last full week of school for the kids and they have honors programs and fun days, and just a lot going on. But I am determined to at least eat better. If I don't gain this week I am still doing great in my book, but I got to eat right so this water weight will go away. I can pure feel it.
HOpe ya'll have a good day.

Angela

 

Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 1:21pm

Angela,


I am sooo sorry you are going thru this, but please stay focused.


You are back on track


 Karen


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 2:09pm

LOL
so I have begun to realize, Karen I am doing much better though, MUCH better, and I am trying hard to focus and so far so good.

Angela

 

Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 2:43pm
I hope everything starts getting better for you. :)

 
 
 
 

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 7:44am

>>>>BUt I awoke with new determination, which is how I got started last week<<<<


That's the way to go!! That's the right attitude!!


Congratulations on the start back on track.. and for avoiding the temptations at your dd's honor program (she's a doll for the stuff she wrote.. I know I"LL be crying for sure LOL).


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 11:13am

Well Mary don't feel guilty, that is just how I am and no everyone isn't the same. My brother's and sister are more like you, they bring her a card and gift but that is about it, NO i take it above and beyond, but then again my mom and I (my dad and I too for that matter) are VERY close. I can tell them anything, and I do tell them almost EVERYTHING. They pretty much know where I am and what I am doing all day every day. It wasn't always like this, and I did resent my parents and all when I was a teenager like all teens do, but I went through a lot when I was 17 and I began to understand why my parents were so protective and not only did I understand but I appreciated it. Of course Having DD12 at the same time made me understand what it was like to be a mom too, and that was a big turning point with me and my parents. My mom has done so very much for me over the last 30 years that I want to make sure that she knows how very much I love/appreciate her. I even wrote her a nice note in the card, that I think may have made her tear up cuz she quickly turned and went to the kitchen to check the food...LOL
Anyways, my point is, I am an extremely emotional person since I grew up and had a family of my own and holidays have always been a big deal for me, I always made a big deal out of family traditions and such, and the rest of my brothers and sister, and DH to boot don't seem to get me for that, but that is how I am. They all know it and they respect it to a point, only my brothers are turning into serious JERKS in their older ages. My mom is turning 70 in July, and ya know, they aren't going to be here forever, and for me I just want to have as many good memories as I can get before that time comes.
OKay I will give you a good laugh now...I call my mom on a regular basis these days to tell her I am sorry for my teen years...LMAO!! she thinks it is HILARIOUS cuz she says dd12 is JUST LIKE ME!!! I am soooooo sorry mom, really I am sooo very sorry...>LOL

Angela

 

Angela

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