friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
friends
7
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 2:06pm
what do you do when you know that you want to lose weight so badly that you ask your friends to join you cause there up there also! but instead of joining ;which is there right ;i cant make them join. but they continueously put dieting down saying silly quotes such as ;if they make it my size i'm wearing it !knowing there miserable i dont like hanging with them any more cause i'm about getting healthy and losing this .i want to be able to walk in the store and not go to the plus size rack and say oh well! my first goal is a size 20 then work my way down till i'm happy with me. my husband says i'm fine where i am but if i want to lose it go for it.and ignore your friends and dont even mention dieting around them because they get angry .but yet they become upset when people say how good i'm doing .i dont need negativity in my life .i need positive people arond me.which is why i get so motivated when i read some of you guys stories .the good and the bad we all have them and its nice to know someone's going through the same thing as you .i always thought that your friends were suppose to be there for you !but these friends are outrageous. so trust me i dont mention dieting any more. but if looks could kill i'd be in trouble! do anyone have friends who down your good job at trying to get yourself together.or are there actually friends who say good job !keep up the good work that be a change of pace for me .good luck to everyone and together we should get a good portion of weight off by summer i truly believe that!thanks for giving me the motivation to keep moving forward alot of you have good advice and alot of insight on dieting.thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
In reply to: gal_blkbeauty34
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 2:16pm
No offense, but your "friends" don't seem very friendly. I would think that if they are truly your friends, they would support want to support you, even if they themselves chose not to go the same route (getting healthy). It just sounds like they envy you that you are sticking to this healthy thing, and this is the only way they know how to deal with their emotions. Your hubby's right--ignore them. Do what you feel is best for you, and if your "friends" don't like it, maybe you need to find new friends. True friends. Just my humble opinion. Hope this helps.
Katherine
349.2/347.4/140 Mini-goal: size 26 jeans (Ultra mini goal: 314 pounds )
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: gal_blkbeauty34
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 2:24pm

That's why we are here, to support you. We are all in this together.


I agree with your dh, don't mention it when you are around the negative people. They probably get angry when you get complimented just because they are so miserable with themselves-it really can be a jealousy thing.


You do what is right for you. you cannot make anyone do something they do not want to do. It's like telling someone to quit smoking. They are not gooing to do it until THEY are ready.


Come here and vent to us about them or anything else whenever you need to!!


We are here for you!!



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Edited 5/25/2006 2:27 pm ET by cl-k_davey

 Karen


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
In reply to: gal_blkbeauty34
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 2:54pm

I am sooo sorry you have to deal with that. I agree with Katherine that they don't seem like true friends. Yes there are some friends out there who are supportive. My best friend lost all of her weight after being overweight most of her life. She is now 5' and 104lbs and lemme tell you she is an inspiration to me. SO yes it is possible to have supportive friends and this is where I agree with Karen, I think they are jealous cuz they can't/won't do this for themselves. You keep doing what you need to do for you, if they don't like it then tell them you are sorry but this is for you not for them.
You can come here for support ANYTIME as far as I am concerned. This is my primary source of support as well. MOst of my family is overweight and they moan and groan and say they need to lose it but the only one that ever tries is my mom. Then there is the other side of my family (inlaws) that don't think they need to lose any weight and don't battle with it the way we do. Dh tries to be supportive but he tend to be like my family moan and groan and say I need to lose it then does NOTHING!!
Anyways I got off point but just wanted to let you know that we all go through similar things here, so we do understand a lot of where you are coming from. Please feel free to post and ask for advice/support anytime.

Angela
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Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
In reply to: gal_blkbeauty34
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 3:07pm
I'm sorry but your friends don't sound like true friends. They should be supportive, no matter what. I'm glad your dh is. You do what is right and healthy for you. It's your life not theirs. And if they don't like that you are becoming healthier, well then they don't have to say anything. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Right?

 
 
 
 

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
In reply to: gal_blkbeauty34
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 8:01am

Good for you, to keep at it anyway!

I have a good friend who is about my size, and she continually jokes about wanting to die with a chicken leg in one hand and a pie in the other-- NOT a dieter, and not someone I can talk to about my dieting (or exercise) very often. She is still a good friend, though. This is just one of her "issues", and I'm trying hard not to blather on and on about my program to the world anyway, so she's a good check on that. I guess I'm hoping you don't throw out the baby with the bathwater and give up on these friends unless they're really making it a challenge to continue.

Hope you stick with it, and find support where you can (maybe here?)

Misha

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
In reply to: gal_blkbeauty34
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 8:11am

I understand where you're coming from. It is so frustrating to have friends (or family) that do not support you in such a difficult and important path in your life. But you can't 'force' them into losing weight if they really don't want to. I remember people telling me how big I was getting and that I needed to lose the weight and although I knew they were right, it irritated me. I didn't start losing the weight until I wanted to lose the weight. The decision has to come from them.


Don't mention your weight loss in front of them. They may be jealousy that you're actually doing this. Even if they're aren't, you really don't need any negativity in your life. I am sure your friends are great in a lot of other ways, but don't turn to them when it comes to weight loss. Find other people for support (your family for example). And don't forget about us. We're facing the same struggles here and would love to give and receive support.


Good luck and congratulations on your achievements so far.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
In reply to: gal_blkbeauty34
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 9:44pm
thanks to everyone for the support!you guys are right!i should'nt mention the weight issue in front of them any more.i have you guys and a few family members that i can actually console in with my issues and questions.thanks guys for listening. it really helps to have advice and good advice at that from others who go through these rough patches. but i'm determined to lose and i will move forward you guys are the positive motivation i need during this health kick and i will kick it.thanks again.