Why is it that
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| Mon, 05-29-2006 - 10:26am |
When you try to better yourself other aspects of your life seem to fall apart?? I mean it is one thing after another lately, I have been doing well, losing weight for a change and not willing to give up this time except everything in my life seems to be against me?? Or should I say everyone? Fights with siblings, fights with the kids, and now fighting with Dh? What the hell is in the air down here? (scuse my language there but geez). All I want to do is crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and STAY there til things calm down. I have NO desire to eat at all let alone eat bad. Dh and I got into a huge argument last night and now we are supposed to go to his mom's in a little while and I don't even want to go. I mean why would I when we obviously aren't even speaking to one another this morning? It will be difficult to hide from the in laws that we are fighting. Yes I am one to hide it from others and let it boil inside til it explodes. Truth be known this fight has been building and building since Mother's day. He sucked up for a couple days then went back to PMS mode. HELLO what the heck is going on? It isn't one big thing that caused it but a bunch of little things, and hurt feeling from weeks ago when we semi argued and I tried to get it all out in the open but he wanted NO part of it. Oh he said enough to cause serious hurt feelings that have been stewing, but of course I am always overreacting. I just feel like I am bout to implode. Why can men be so uncommunicative? To you all out there with Dh's who really talk to you about things, GOD BLESS YOU cuz you are so freaking lucky. I don't know many men who will actually talk to their wives/girlfriends and unfortunately dh doesn't either. It seems like everywhere I go someone is getting pissed at me just by looking at me these days and I don't know what hte heck I have done to any of them?? I can't go to my parents house with my brothers there cuz if I do one of them ends up jumping me or my sil does it. And over STUPID stuff. It is like I am the enemy in their eyes, and for some reason it seems to be affecting my own house. My kids refuse to listen all of a sudden and it is like we are constantly arguing especially dd12. Oh god those hormones are insane. It doesn't help that she is JUST LIKE ME!!!! I just seem to be getting into it with everyone in my life and can't seem to do anything right. I even bragged to DH about getting below 250 yesterday (or so I thought I was) and he was like and?? what is the point?? I really hate men sometimes. I mean it is like he doesn't think I am going to do this so why bother?? I mean I have lost almost 10 lbs since the first go at it but since I crashed for a month then started back it is like it doesn't count? ARRRRGHHHHHHH
I just feel ALL ALONE with a houseful of people!! Does that even Make sense? I didn't sleep worth a flip last night cuz our fight kept replaying in my head all night long, and where he rolls over and goes to sleep and ends it, I want to work through it then. I mean I don't like going to bed angry that just makes the problem so much worse, but it doesn't bother him.
Okay I know you guys must think I am just so full of anger it isn't even funny but truth is I am not usually angry all the darn time but life just seems to be completely upside down for me, and like someone is out to get me. I really need to figure out what is in the air/water down here, cuz I am not the only one whose family seems to have fell and bumped their heads around here. What makes this fight worse? We got together on Memorial Day and instead of celebrating another year together he runs off with friends and then don't come home for dinner and doesn't bother to FREAKING CALL. His excuse, I didn't knwo what time it was...HELLO you couldn't see the sun going down?>??? Yea right!!! The worst part of it all, WE HAD DINNER PLANS, and then he didn't come home. And he doesn't understand WHY I am so mad? OH well, I guess I better go get the kids ready for mil's house and seem if I can manage to be civil with him for a little while.
Angela

Hang in there!
"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in your way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway, we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."
Katherine
349.2/.47.4/140 Mini goal: size 26 jeans
Thanks Guys, as always posting helped me let go of some of the emotions, and we talked a little not enough but a little. I don't like to fight in front of the kids so it is hard to really talk until after lights out time. We are better, talking without snapping at least, and I can smile finally at something he says, still upset with him but not angry anymore!!
Angela
Angela
Because he's a MAN.. not understanding is just a part of his nature LOL.. that's a quote from my husband when I was waxing 2 days ago (all the talk about waxing reminded me that I needed one).. anyways that's what he said: "I will never get women..
LOL Yes you do make sense, and I can't believe you remembered me saying that. Geez, wish I had that good of a memory.
I would NEVER throw it away, trust me the good does FAR outweigh the bad, he just makes me SOOOOOO crazy sometimes. The bad just seem more frequent these days for some reason, there is always something going on that is aggravating or stressful to us both and I bottled it up where he takes it out on me......LOL guess the saying "you hurt the ones you love the most" is true. He has been given so much responsiblity at work over the last few years and I know it is stressful, he is the right hand man, and he does alot of the bossy stuff these days. I am very proud of him, but we have to work on the leaving work at work, and not bringing it home to take out on the family stuff. He has improved but not 100 %. We are aiming for the 95-99% range on that one. Believe me I know how hard it iis to leave work at work, but you have to do it. I worked at an ambulance service for several years and that is one that can ruin ANY family. (this was before Dh's time). The hours alone kept me jumping from relationship to relationship cuz no one guy would put up with never seeing me for very long. LOL But back to my point, Dh and I are good together most of the time, just when we disagree we really disagree. And you are right it is the good the bad and the ugly, THE WHOLE PACKAGE!! And I accept that, we just need to work on the bad and the ugly a little before it overpowers us. Venting here has REALLY helped me though. I am so glad this board is so full of such friendly people now. When I was here before a couple years ago, I would never have felt comfy enought to vent like that. THANK ALL OF YOU for being so sweet and wonderful!!!
Angela
Angela