Please help/advise. I'm new and worried!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2006
Please help/advise. I'm new and worried!
4
Sun, 07-23-2006 - 4:04am

Hello everyone,
I'm Scorcher, I am 34 years old. Back in Feb (06) I started a new life, trying to exercise everyday and eat smaller portions. I eat the same foods but am careful not to eat too much fat and have take aways less often. Anyway I have lost a fair bit of weight but still have a long way to go. I am happy as I am not worried or in a rush to lose the rest so it isn't an issue.

I have a problem though! I have been suffering depression quite badly and have found the more comments I get on how I look like I have lost loads of weight the more I wear my old bigger clothes that are baggy nowto cover myself up. I was really confident after losing 40lb but I have suddenly lost that. I dressed up for the local carnival in an outfit that I had made and was going to stand out but when I got attention from the men I didn't like it. I feel so confused and don't understand my own feelings! I was putting off buying smaller jeans even though I was running the risk of mine falling down yet anyone else would have been excited at having to buy a smaller size so what is wrong with me? I almost feel fearful of losing more weight quickly and want to stay this size for a while and yet another side to me wants to lose the weight the way I have been, I am really confused.

The other problem I have is that my skin is starting to pucker where I have lost weight and looks a little wrinkly on my boobs and legs so I am starting to panic, I don't want redundant skin hanging from me. I went to my Doctor who said she will look into whether there is an option of surgery to remove it for me but even that sounds scary and will leave scars. I am worried my hubby won't find me attractive anymore and will not love me as much even though he is trying to reassure me. We have been happily married for almost 11 years and have 3 lovely young boys.

I feel so depressed my Doctor has put me on a higher dose of antidepressants again, yet I should be happy as the weight is coming off. I am struggling to stop myself comfort eating but at the same time am having to force myself to eat at times as I don't want to. (I do have other worries and problems not connected to my weight that will be adding to the depression.)

Has anyone else felt the same way, fearful of being slim? What about redundant skin, does anyone else worry about that or has anyone else had the problem? I just need someone who understands what I am saying to tell me it's Ok to feel this way as at the moment I feel like I am going mad!

Best Wishes,
Scorch

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2001
Sun, 07-23-2006 - 6:26pm

Hi, scorcher! Welcome to the board.


I have never received positive attention from the opposite sex (other than hubby) so I do not know what that's like. It is something that I have thought of though. I feel that I may resent men if they paid positive attention to me because I'm still the same old Melissa but I won't be hidden under the weight.


I know Dr. Phil has had guests discuss issues about men/attention after weight loss. Perhaps you can find some good advice on his website (www.drphil.com).


Keep up the great work. Just remember how good it is for you to lose weight and hopefully you can work on the attention issue at the same time.


Melissa




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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 9:15am

Hi Scorch and welcome the board. First I want to congratulate you for the great job you're doing and losing that weight.


I am not sure if I can offer any help with this. I know that change is hard and sometimes people are comfortable with themselves and when you're changing this you have a lot of doubts. I heard it's something that some people face when they're losing weight. Maybe you can talk about this with a professional? Not just by upping the meds, maybe you can talk to a therapist if that's an option?


Try to focus on how you're doing this for yourself and how important this is for YOU. And how your husband and your children will appreciate this.. after all it's not just the looks that change.. you also have more energy and you are happier overall and have a better outlook towards life.


I am sorry I'm not much help. I hope you learn how to deal with this. Please keep us posted {{{hugs}}}

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 5:45pm

hello and welcome!!!

YES, I've had VERY similar feelings. Sometimes I feel that I'll never be happy with myself. BUT!!! Since I've lost some more weight...I feel better, fit better in my clothes, and have been told I look "good" LOL I am re-thinking the negative things that were always in my head, and I now realize that it's more important to me to look better in clothes, feel energized, etc. SOooo, when I get down and out and feel as though I'm NOT happy with myself, I look back at "before" photos when I was at my heaviest, and MISERABLE because NOTHING ever fit right, I had high blood pressure at 28 years old, and I was always fatigued. Basically, I feel that the best is yet to come. Don't worry so much about skin....just make sure you don't lose weight too fast, and make sure you exercise and tone up while losing!!! Good luck with everything!!!

----Melissa
(319/269/175)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 5:45pm
Like Mary, I am not sure how to respond. No I have not felt that way but then again i haven't lost but around 10 lbs yet. I am so sorry you are feeling down and do hope you manage to get past this. You have done a wonderful job of losing so good luck in battling the comfort food!!

Angela


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Angela

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