what do i do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2006
what do i do?
9
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 4:28pm

my lovely darling of 8 months keeps telling me he doesn't want me to shed the pounds. but i keep telling him i want to look better for him. he says i'm perfect the way i am and need to stop being obsessive about what i eat. now.. he says that if i want to keep going with this "need to not feed", he will support me, but he'd rather keep me the way i am.

what? hmm.. dang it

-Audrey

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 4:42pm
Hi Audrey, I'm pretty new to the board so I don't know you at all--where you started, how much you lost, etc. I'm sure he means well, but ask yourself if you are healthy at this weight. Where will you be in five years if you gain? 10 years? What might you miss out on if your health deteriorates? Will you end up feeling slow and sluggish? I know that I've spent years thinking vainly about how much better I'd look in a smaller size when it's my physical well-being that matters most. Maybe he's concerned that if you change your physical appearance you'll change your interest in him? Anyway, it's great for him to care for you as you are, but if he really cares he won't want to hold you back from improving your life. All the best, Annie
A
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 5:04pm
Don't know what to say other than do what you feel is right for you!! I mean he said he would support your decision but he loves you the way you are right? So maybe he just doesn't want you to do this just for

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 7:39pm

You do what's best for you, of course!

And it sounds like ultimately your beau will be accepting of the new healthier you as well as the "you" he first fell for. It could just be a little momentary insecurity on his part... or he may even be worried about "the girls" shrinking. Ah, men! The lovely creatures.

I, however, am not so accepting or adaptable. You are young and lovely (I've seen your photos, remember?), and I want you to spare yourself the possible health problems and angst of being overweight even for another year or two. I know this is a tough journey, but I would really like to see you stay with it. And you know we'll be here for you. So what do you say?

Misha

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 7:46pm

i've lost ab out 10 pounds in the last month or so. (which i probably gained back with the,.. not so good eating weekend i just had. personally i'm thinking how i'll look in a wedding dress. i know it's years off and i pray to God we last, because i see this man in my future, i'm quite healthy right now, even though i am.. extremly overweight. everything checks out perfect besides the weight. i assured him if i ever get to "drop dead sexy" (which he says i'm atcurrently) i won't run off with some scuba diver instructor name carlos or anything like that. he loves me for who i truely am, inside outside and flipside, i just want to look better for him. (and be drop dead sexy) i'm not looking for much. i'd be happy with a size 16 (currently i'm a 20/22 at lane bryant). so i dunno. i'm doing this so the scale reflects how i see myself inside.

-Audrey

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 7:54pm

i could use to get some baggae off the ladies.. if you know what i mean, I'd like to be in the single D range sometime soon and not a size applied to cartoon graphics.

currently i love the fact i can BOLT up my stairs at home and not even get all huffy and puffy. couldn't do that when i moved in during may.

ok this is what i want. i want to be able to run at my man and jump into his arms. yes i know this says cheesy romantic chick flick all over it. but i want to do the spinny i haven't seen you in a long time and i'm picking you up from the airport kind of hug. that's my goal. what weight is that? no idea. but the day it happens will be great.

-Audrey

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 8:03pm
Awwwwww, that is SO sweet! You'll get there...

Misha

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 8:06pm
And by the way, I know a VERY cute Carlos (not a scuba instructor, though). Just tuck that away in the back of your mind... LOL!

Misha

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 10:56pm

Audrey,


If the "spinny kinda airport hug" is cheesey then I am right there with you. I too want my dh to be able to pick me up and stuff like that. I mean he could pick me up if he had to but I want him to be able to do it without

 

Angela

image

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 5:04am

He's an adorable man!


How about telling him you're doing it for your health and not your looks. And to have more energy and you're glad you can go up

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