Motivation

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Motivation
7
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 4:48pm
I'm still fuming over the fact that I gained so much and don't know why (all the way back up to 191 from 180!)
Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sohappilyme
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 5:00pm

Hi Sarah,
Is it any wonder that those kind of thoughts creep into our minds? We're bombarded by messages that say our entire self-worth should be measured by the scale--the lower the better. Guys especially are told that they should only be interested in waifs. Your marriage sounds a lot like mine. We've been married for more than 13 years and are nuts for each other! 99.999% of the time I know for sure that nothing about my appearance could change his feelings for me, and then I think "I wonder what it's like for him to hear jokes from friends or co-workers about gross fat chicks" and I have a moment of doubt. I think we just have to trust what we know and keep focused on living the longest, healthiest, happiest lives possible. I know so many women of all sizes who would kill for the relationship I have, and I don't want for a minute to take that for granted again by forgetting to work at my health. All the best, Annie 252/236/156.5

P.S Your DH looks just like my BIL. :-)

A
Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sohappilyme
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 7:48pm
Yes, it is SUCH
Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
In reply to: sohappilyme
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 1:36am

It amazes me how years of positive affirmation from dh can't erase one comment from someone else that just brought me down.

When I first told my family that I was getting married, my mom made the comment that I was lucky to have found a man who loves me regardless of what I look like.

I don't know where she was coming from - my dad doesn't love my mom for her looks, and both of them have struggled with weight in their lives. My mom just has a very unhealthy view on weight and body image.

But that one comment... I am so insecure with my husband, even though he has assured me and reassured me repeatedly that he love me, and he loves the way I look.

I was finally motivated to lose weight when it started to affect my health, and dh has been nothing but supportive. He has found a way to walk that fine line between encouraging me in my weight loss and not making me feel like I have to lose weight.

But I can completely relate to what you're saying. I want to be beautiful for my husband, not because he doesn't already find me beautiful, but because I want to be able to give him that. He is not perfect, and I see him as beautiful, so on some level I can believe him when he says he sees me as beautiful. But I want to feel like the person he sees in me, if that makes any sense.

By the way, you don't look anything like a land manatee. ;-)

~ Jessica


visit my family blog at: lifeinthefunzone.blogspot.co

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2006
In reply to: sohappilyme
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 5:04am

I think that people that have a relationship like you and your husband's should be proud. My husband and I are similar. We've been married for just over 3 years, but I've known him my whole life and we've been dating since I was 13 (if you can really "date" at that age). He married me when I weighed my heaviest, and has always made comments that I'm the most beautiful, sexy woman he's ever seen. So why do I still feel self-concious around him sometimes? Sometimes it feels like he tells me these things because he has to, because he's my husband and he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Deep down I know he loves me for me, and my exterior truly is beatiful to him because it houses the real me. He is supportive however, and wants me to be happy. He has never had a problem with weight, and does not really understand what it takes to lose this kind of weight. He eats whatever I put in front of him, and has never complained about anything being fat free or low calorie (I do like to think I'm a good cook and he just didn't notice...but who knows). Personally, I think that those of us who have found that special person that loves us for who we really are, should count our lucky stars. Not everyone has been blessed to find that someone who will cherish and honor us for the beautiful women we are deep down inside.

Here's to WONDERFUL husbands,
Dianne
318/241/165

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
In reply to: sohappilyme
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 8:50am
I think you just hit a nerve here.. I know where you're coming from.. I have the same feelings every once in a while. Don't really have anything bright to say, but wanted to tell you that I have similar feelings too.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
In reply to: sohappilyme
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 8:51am

Wow.


You are a very lucky woman (and he's a very lucky man).

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sohappilyme
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 10:16am

Thanks to everyone for your comments!

Sarah