First of all...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
First of all...
14
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 5:05pm

First off, I never meant to begin a debate over who has the best information about cheese for God sake!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 5:46pm
Congrats on all your hard work, I'm new here and stories like yours make me feel optimistic about this whole thing. I don't know much about dieting and staying healthy, but if you're getting advice from your doc and so on, you are definately on the right track. So far I've managed to stay on my diet for a week, and I'm looking forward to many more, so thank you for you're honesty.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 6:10pm

I'm sorry if you were offended by any of my previous posts. Like I said before, I think it's awesome what you've achieved and it's something that you should be very proud of. I can tell you have wonderful enthousiasm and determination, both of which must be required to go through with the diet you are doing. To me it sounds like it would be even harder than having weight loss surgery, so you should be commended for your achievements! What I said in my posts was not meant as discouragement to you, I merely posted the information because I thought everyone could benefit from what I've learned over the years and it's based on sound medical research. I'm sure that for a lot of us we see the success you are having and think "maybe I should do that", but I'm not sure we all realize what comes along with a diet of that type. It is something that has to be done with a doctors supervision, and a lot of us are going at this alone. I posted the information I posted because I figured everyone here could use the information to help them in their quest, and because I didn't want anyone to feel bad if they can't give up cheese or a little butter on their veggies.

If it sounded like I was discouraging you, I'm sorry, I never meant it that way, I just wanted to be encouraging to everyone, especially those of us who are not on doctor supervised programs. I know that I've finally learned not to feel bad about eating more and eating things that are considered taboo on a "diet", but I also know that A LOT of people struggle with coming to terms with the fact that it really is okay to eat, and you have to learn how to eat in moderation in order to finally become and stay healthy, as I'm sure you are well aware. I really don't want you to fail at maintenance and I really didn't mean it to sound like I thought you would! I just want ALL of us to succeed and feel good about how we get there :). And, I will tell you that the original post came across to me as discouraging to those of us who are trying to do what we think is best. To me, it almost felt like you were telling us that we just didn't want to lose the weight enough if we aren't willing to give up chocolate or cheese or whatever it is that we may love, and that kind of bothered me. I realize that you said what you said because you were so excited about what you've learned that's best for you, but it did come across to me as sounding like you thought that was what's right for EVERYONE and that if you couldn't "sacrifice" it all, then you didn't want it enough. Especially the way the comment about the cheese was worded, it put me on the defensive. I figured that you did not mean your comments to come across as discouraging and I posted my responses in a way that I hoped would be encouraging to everyone :).

Sorry if there was some confusion and please continue sharing your losses! It's wonderful to hear that someone has such great willpower and motivation and gives us all hope.

Staci


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 6:28pm

You are certainly to be congratulated for your accomplishments, during a very difficult time. And I think that the board has been and is supportive to all its posters, although other commitments sometimes mean we can't all respond to every post. I know I'm guilty of this, and don't expect that you will always be able to respond, either... talk about commitments!

I just had a chance to look at your "sacrifices" post this evening, and truly believe that no harm was intended on either side. I interpreted your cheese remark as not being literal; more like "not enough nutritional value to offset other aspects for me right now". Maybe that's just because I LOVE cheese, and have that mindset myself, LOL! Other people (lurkers, etc.) might take that idea to heart, though, and think that cheese really does have no nutritional value at all, so I think it was responsible to point out the positive facts. And the other suggestions you made received very positive feedback.

If anyone here has jumped on you for losing weight rapidly, I missed it... I just rememebr encouragement. And if I've ever been less than supportive, please accept my apology right now. Of course you're apprehensive about what will happen after this phase of your diet. It would be nice if you could have a spot like this to help you through that next phase. I wish you continued success...

Misha

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 7:06pm

I need to process all of this that has gone on today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 7:20pm

Thank you Misha for your response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 7:36pm

I am sincerely sorry that you still feel like you were or are being attacked. I think that you did have some good ideas in your original post, and you have every right to share what you've learned. I was trying to do the same thing in my response, but I know it didn't come across that way to you.

I guess I also have to say I'm sorry if it sounds like I completely disagree with your diet. I think it sounds like you are building a great foundation towards a healthy eating plan when you do have to go into maintenance. The basics of my eating plan are very similar to what you currently eat--it is generally centered around lean meats and proteins (sometimes beans or vegetarian products instead of meat) and a lot of vegetables. I also eat a lot of dairy products and fruits, a few whole grain products and some "forbidden" foods(a small amount daily). I think everyone should aim to eat 9 servings of vegetables a day, but I realize that it sounds very daunting to most and it's something we have to work towards. I also realize that it's not going to work for some people.

I wish my original response hadn't been lost, because I guess I wasn't clear in my second reply that I think most of your ideas were great. But, just like you took it wrong that we were attacking you for your choices and statements, I took it wrong that you were attacking us for eating cheese on my salad. To me, it sounded like you thought a person who would do so is just stupid, and mainly because of the comment "and lose the cheese already, people" not the comment about it not having any nutritional value. It's easy to have miscommunications when you are not able to hear or see how the person is saying something. You only have the written word to go by and it's often hard to tell if you are being sincere or joking. A lot of the interpretation depends on the mood you are in that day, and honestly, I probably took your cheese comment as a derogatory comment because I've been exhausted and felt like crap all week.

I sincerely hope you can get past feeling attacked and feel free to post your successes here! I celebrated every time I reached a milestone and 61 days without at cheat is a huge one! I celebrated at 4 weeks and 8 weeks and will probably celebrate at 12 weeks, and you should, too! We all know what it's like to struggle, and we all do struggle. I've done great for 11 weeks with one slip up after 75 days completely on my track. But, seeing others who struggle and or are succeeding still helps me, and I know that's true for most of the people. That's why I share my daily journal with my ramblings. I can go back over it and read things about myself, but I know other people can look at it and see that even those who are succeeding struggle. I like reading other peoples journal entries, too, because I get ideas and it reminds me we are not alone in this. I do get inspired reading about your progress and am amazed at what it must take to succeed on your plan. I really don't think negatively about what you are choosing to do at all, just like I don't think negatively about people who have gastric bypass. Following a diet, any diet, is VERY, very difficult and we all have to figure out how to make it work for us.

I know I could have made my response seem like less of an attack if I had highlighted the points I totally agreed with more, but, I was short on time and had already posted one response that was lost and was just posting what I really wanted to share with everyone. I'm sorry there have been some miscommunications, but hopefully we can get past this and everyone can feel free to share anythign and everything they want to share without feeling attacked. I really wish you didn't feel attacked and hope that you don't leave the board, but I don't know what more to say.

Staci


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 8:08pm

Very elequently put Staci.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:18pm

ITA! Hope you had a great workout--let us know how it goes :).

Staci


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:32pm

Message boards are great, but they can't always convey emotions or intentions. We're multidimensional but they are one dimensional. We all have to stop ourselves and take a breath or we're all doomed to offend or be offended. Earlier today under the challenge thread in response to Staci's GREAT IDEA, I mentioned that we might only want to ensure that we were inclusive of all plans. Staci's reply seemed to indicate that she was offended by this...or did it? My point is that my intention was to convey how much I liked her idea, but the message seemed to come across as criticism. And you know, her reply got me a little miffed--then I chilled out over it!

We're all on edge from depriving ourselves! Odds are that 1/4 of us are hormonal every week and we're achy and hungry. Not exactly the best recipe for "hearing" each other all the time. I hope that everyone sticks around. I don't know about you all, but I'm by far the biggest person almost everywhere I go and the heavy set people I run into aren't exactly looking to bond or are wanting to tear down my weight loss efforts. We all have to figure out what will work for our own lives and bodies. I hope that we'll be celebrating long range losses together some day! All the best, Annie

A
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:53pm

I just wanted to say congratulations on your success. I am sorry you

 

Angela

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