I cheated (rant, kinda)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2006
I cheated (rant, kinda)
2
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 12:12pm
I feel so crummy. This is the first time since I started my diet that I cheated, I absolutely had to have the bagel. There is this bagel shop here that is amazing but so f***ing bad for you. I was totally trying to justify it to myself the entire time thinking "After all the f***ing hours at work, all the sh*t that happened this weekend and stalker cops to boot, you deserve a f***ing bagel" (yes I do swear that much when I talk to myself). So I ate it, and it was good, really good, but now I feel like I just let myself down. I think it was Punchinello that said, "If I can't fly I might as well die." I should have had 2. I need a cigarrette. I need to do something, I am so tired, I miss sleep, I need to sleep, I am weak. I actually fell over yesterday, I haven't slept since stalker cops started showing up and yesterday I was so tired, just completely useless wiped out I just passed out at work, right in the middle of a conversation going blah blah blah, BAM! I woke up with a paramedic staring at me, creepy. Funny thing though, still couldn't sleep last night. If I wasn't so sensitive to drugs I would have talked to the doctor by now but everytime I go they want to give me a pill, oh you have a cough, take a pill, oh you can't sleep, take a pill, oh you think you are losing your mind, here have another pill. F***ing vampires, all they want to do is steal blood and give pills. I just feel, empty, done, like there's nothing I can do. I need a cigarrette, and chocolate, no, just a cigarrette. (and the chocolate) see what I mean, useless, and light headed, no, dizzy, I can't breathe, I need a smoke.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 2:55pm
So are you going to let one f***ing bagel derail you???? C'mon! You have to be realistic. It's not going to be easy and it's not going to happen overnight and you will be less than perfect at it! So what? I agree with you about trying to avoid meds in general, but what about something to help you with smoking? Some people can just quit cold turkey and others can't. Rome wasn't built in a day! Annie
A
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 7:50am

First of all one bagel is not going to kill you.. in fact when I get an urge like that I would usually just have the bagel instead of eating a million other things then ending up having the bagel. So.. now it's out of your system.. it's time to focus again.


I wasn't going to say anything until I'm finished with it.. but here goes: I'm stopping smoking too (not really quitting cuz I'll still smoke on vacations).. and I KNOW what you're going through.. I"m not going cold turkey though.. I've had 2 cigarettes on Sunday but nothing since then. If I go crazy I'll have another one today or tomorrow. Sometimes it's psychological.. you know that you can't have a cigarette so you want to have a cigarette.. this is why I tell myself I can have it and for some strange reason I just don't. I know this won't work for everybody though..


Hang in there! You can make it

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