20 and scared and confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2006
20 and scared and confused
7
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 3:37am
I'm 20 years old and I weigh over 300 pounds and I'm 5'8. The last time I weighed myself I was at 330. I'm scared. I don't want to be this big because I know it's so unhealthy. by being this big I'm killing myself. On the other hand i'm afraid that I will never look normal again. That I'll just be some big fat blob of skin. I've tried so many diets that I don't even know where to start now. Is there anyone out there who can help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 6:24am

I think that a major portion of your battle is doing what you have done right now! You have admitted that you have a problem, and that you are trying to fix it.

The thing that I have have found that helped me is to decide that I am not dieting, because I am not! I have made a lifestyle choice! Get in your head that choosing to eat better and to excersise is a lifestyle choice. Make that committment. To yourself. Because you matter! And when you fall off that committment (and you will, because we all do), recommit. Get back in there and keep going. Don't beat yourself up for falling off. Give yourself positive reinforcment for recommitting to changing what you don't like about yourself. Remember that you ARE worth doing all of this work for! Believe in yourself that you CAN do this. And in those times that you forget this, or stop believing, reach out to your support, like the wonderful people here, and we/they will try our best to believe for you and offer you encouragement to get back in there and pick up this fight again. Get your friends and family to support you in this difficult journey ahead. You can do this!

Then check with your doctor. See what he recommends. Mine recommended weight watchers! It helps! Having someone to monitor/check in with may help you to contine to fight and to keep going. Another great place to start is to join a non threatening gym... I started with Curves. And the best thing about curves is that it is for women!!!!! They want 1/2 hour 3 days a week to see results. Everyone that I have talked to there who did this saw some results. More results, the better you feel the more determination that you get to keep going! Yes, there are alot of older women there, but it is great to get you started on the "I must excersise regularly" routine. There are no men around. People there have been very supportive. The more support and positive reinforcment that you get the better off that you are!

Good luck

Marlene

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 8:11am
Hello, I just joined two days ago with a similar concern and today I feel so much more confident. Check out "Is there any hope for me?" I have gotten some great advise and encouragement. You can do it. I weigh 260 and am 5.6. I want to lose 100-125 lbs. I have a sister that is 5.4 and I think she is about 400 lbs. She always says, " I might as well give up and I like food too much to give it up" I'm afraid to say that, I'm afraid to give up the thought that I could be healthy and energetic again. So keep that in mind. You are so young and you deserve to feel good about yourself. I know its hard to see the good in your life when you have a constent reminder looking back at you in the mirror, when you can't move very well, or when you have a hard time finding something that fits and looks good on you. You aren't alone and I hope I helped even it was just a little. I wish you luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 9:19am

Hon, it will be okay. You can't give up and you can do this. Do it for yourself. You have already recieved wonderful advice, and I don't have anything else to add except yes this is hard, VERY hard, but it can be done. I have been struggling for 6 months and have only lost about 8 lbs that stay off regularly, but you know what, I am learning everyday. This isn't something that one size fits all. One diet doesn't fit all. One lifeplan doesn't fit all, we each have to find what works for

 

Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 4:48pm

Hi,

I can really relate. When I was 20 (8 years ago) I weighed 315 pounds - my highest ever. It was around that time that I got into therapy and decided to start doing something about my weight. I started focusing on eating healthy foods, in smaller portions, with occasional "treats". This was hard, becuase I had never had much in the way of self-dicipline, but by focusing on what I *could* eat I was able to avoid feeling like I was missing out on too much if I focused on what I couldn't (I was very emotionally attached to food).

Once I lost a little, I felt much more motivated, and started walking on the weekdays after work, and then small, short little hikes in the hills on the weekends. I learned that I *LOVED* hiking. And so eventually I was hiking a good 6-8 miles on an average Saturday. I also joined this same message board back then for support.

I lost a lot of weight over the following year or so by walking, hiking, and eating differently. By the time I was 22 I got down to 178, my lowest weight since jr. high school. I felt great, and kept it off for a little over 2 years. And I looked a *lot* better than I thought I would - I too was *very* concerned about excess skin - and there was some, but it wasn't as hideous or as much as I imagined.

Unfortunately even after keeping the weight off a few years, I gained a lot of it back over the last 4 years - after having one personal crisis and then another - because I was turning to food as my old comfort and way of coping with some very difficult emotions. First I realized I had gained half of what I had lost back, and then even more, back up to 268.

BUT, I didn't gain it all back. For that I am at least thankful, and proud that I am stopping it now. When I weighed 315 pounds I would have given anything to be at where I am now. I am moving forward and not letting it get me down.

So, while I know my story isn't exactly a success all around (since I re-gained so much weight), I hope you can at least know that there are others who are and have struggled in very much the same way you are, and that you can certainly lose the weight, and you will feel better, you will look better, and be so much healthier, and any extra skin you feel is unsightly can be removed if need be, but you will at least be in a place to make *that* decision rather than where you are now, looking forward to what seems a long and difficult road ahead.

If nothing else, start slowly - if you expect to suddenly be able to eat healthily when you haven't for so long, you will run into difficulty and then get disouraged and give up. Focus not on numbers so much as progress or improvement. Even if you eat 3000 calories a day, when you used to eat 3500, that is an improvement, and will lead to further improvements as you go. Just start gradually, go easy on yourself first so you don't get discouraged. Then it *will* get easier, and you will find you have more motivation to work even harder.

Hope some of this helps. Best of luck to you on your journey!

Kristin
265/254.5/150

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 4:55pm
Thank you for sharing your story!!

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Angela







 

Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 8:01am

You shouldn't be scared.. it can be done. There are a lot of success stories out there that are proof that it can be done.. there are people on this board that are doing it and people that have done it. Don't worry about the skin, you're 20 and age is on your side big time! And like Dani already said in another post, I'd rather have some loose skin and look good with clothes on than have fat and look bad with & without the clothes on.


If you decide you want to lose the weight, then don't make the excess-skin-scare be an excuse to stop you from doing this. Please join us here, there is a great group of ladies around. They're very supportive and they have many tips & tricks up their sleeves. Post often, tell us how you're doing and give us a shout if you're struggling. Welcome to the group!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 7:31pm
Hang in there.
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