DEEEEEP BREATH PLEASE!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
DEEEEEP BREATH PLEASE!!!
13
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 8:50pm

I think that the "Excuses" thread is making it clear how important it is for ALL of us to re-envision this board! I joined in July and noticed how many people signed on and then disappeared after a few weeks. I had attributed it to people not being committed to weight loss and now I'm wondering if many of them weren't finding what they were looking for.

What are you looking for when you come here? Maybe there is a way to categorize our posts so that we can stop in for discussions that both interest and inspire us.

Please let's pull our thoughts and improve things. Let's not start abandoning ship over this, let's figure out how to make it better!

What do you think?????

Annie

A

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 8:57pm
Thanks Annie.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 9:06pm

Theresa,
I completely understand where you are coming from and agree that no one should have to tolerate personal attacks. (Posted in a "support" thread. Hmmm...) You always have such a great perspective to offer and I'd hate to see you leave the board over this. There has to be a way we can get things under control and continue to assist each other. What do you think?

Annie

A
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 10:13pm

Annie: YOU ROCK! This is totally the point of the original post. Thank you so much for putting in to words what I couldn't.

I also come here for positive reinforncement and some laughs. A place to share successes (and failures). A place that I can find women (and men...didn't we have one of those once upon a time? :P) who are in the same boat I am in, but who have found some ways to work around our issues.

Annie, thank you so much.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 10:47pm

I think Kerstin made the best suggestion for getting things under control and continue to assist each other.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 1:04am
Wow guys! I haven't been visiting alot on the board for the last 2 days I think and then I come here tonight and WOW! I didn't know anyone was mad at anyone. I'm all for making peace and seeing what we can do to get there and be more supportive (in every way that is needed). I don't want anyone to leave the board over this!!! I know that being the size I am, especially battling depression, that at different times I'm prone to being sensitive. Even without depression problems we all as women can be this way. I think that's all that's happened here, and I hope it can be fixed somehow. It doesn't mean it won't happen again...but come on guys, we're all human. Anyway, I really like this board and I want it to keep going.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 10:45am
I couldn't agree with you more Laura. In fact I just

 

Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 10:56am
I know, its just like we can all be so sensitive at times. My gosh I know I have! IMO the stigma for being overweight/obese is so bad and you get treated a certain way by society. So when you come into a place like this board and read something that might sound a little off to you, you can end up taking it out on the poster. Like you
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 11:06am
AND (hope you don't mind if I hop back in) if you are gaining again or just starting out, how can you not have a different attitude than when you're doing really well? I'm sure people who are posting often about frustrations don't intend to impede progress for anyone else, but subconsciously misery often loves company. I think we all needed this to come to a head as a wake up call, not only to make us more sensitive to each other but hopefully to make us each aware of the impact we can have on others.
A
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2006
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 7:27pm

I'm one of those who disappeared. I've been lurking on and off since, but not really wanting to post or participate. I didn't stop participating because I lost my commitment, to be perfectly honest I felt out of place. First off, I am NOT directing this at anyone in particular. I don't begrudge anyone the right to say what they want and need to say. Different people need different things. Personally, I came here looking for friendship and encouragement...which I wanted to give as well as recieve. At first I really felt like this board was rocking with inspiration, but then the board began to feel more like a place for people to dwell on their mistakes. Sometimes there were posts where it seemed someone really needed support and advice. The advice and support would be given,but the original poster would seem to wave it all off with excuses why they'd never been successful and never would be. Sometimes there would be posters who would post about their own lives and diet problems,then they'd disappear, then show up again in a few weeks with an update...in between those times they never joined in on anything else, never offered support to anyone else. After seeing this happen a few times I wondered if it really mattered if I tried to be supportive. It seemed like some only wanted to vent and continue to watch the wagon roll on without them rather than take the "hand up" they were being offered. I felt myself leaving the board feeling down and knew I needed to hang back for a while. I didn't want to post support that wasn't sincere. I sometimes just plain didn't know how to answer someone who was having the same problem over and over, but not taking anyone's advice. In the end I felt like I was drowning in negativity and needed fresh air.

When I recommited to my weight loss efforts this Fall I realized that my mental attitude towards EVERYTHING...food, family, life, health, happiness, you name it...was the ONLY thing that had stopped all my other attempts at losing over 100 lbs. Everyday I start from scratch. I can't judge my success on how I did yesterday. I concentrate only on today. I can't let the number on the scale dictate whether I feel good about myself or not. I can't avoid my WW meetings when I have went off plan. I know without a doubt that I will not quit this time. I also know without a doubt that I am going to screw up A LOT! It might take me a year to reach my goal...it might take me three! I'll get there. I wish with all my heart that I could help each and every person having a rough time at this start feeling these same feelings. Unfortunately, that's not posssible. Everybody has to find the motivation for themselves. I think this board is a wonderful place that has had some rough times. I think that the ideas thrown out recently by Kerstin, Annie and Mary came from their sincere desire to help others and make this board supportive as well as inspirational and motivational. I'm sorry that some have had their feelings hurt. I'm sorry if my post hurts anyone. I just wanted to be honest and let it be known why I left. I can tell you that I have searched high and low to find a board half as active as this one, but I've had absolutely no luck. I hope this board can grow and become stronger.

Kaelynn
315/260/140

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 3:13am

Thats very true, and I hope this may have been a wake up call to everyone that needs it.


P.S. I really hate that we have lost a few ladies since all this started...I read and re-read many of the posts..........I didn't see where anyone that was writing a post (that

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