Suggestions..
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Suggestions..
| Wed, 11-22-2006 - 5:47am |
I've been reading through yesterday's posts and I really think both sides have some valid points..
We have a great group of ladies around.. nobody can deny this.


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Given the response to the lurker in the other thread, I won't be giving any suggestions:( This board does have great people on it, but it only takes a few to ruin it. I/ll find another board for my support.
Janet
Im a new member here so not sure how much "weight" (sorry...excuse pun) my voice will have but here is my perspective:
Everyone is at a different point in their weight loss journey and really everyone is at different places in their lives. Some people need to get "the kick" (I know tough love works for ME personally) but that will NEVER work for everyone. I completely understand the "excuses" post but it's also important to be cognizant of the fact that not everyone is in a place to hear the tough love at this time. I think each poster starting a thread where advice, support, guidance is needed must ask for what THEY need.
Let's face it. Weight issues is such an emotionally loaded topic. Im a firm believer in being part of the problem OR solution. So instead of jumping ship, I think some of the great posters here should contribute to making this board what they envision and need it to be.
In conclusion, I wouldnt change a thing. I don't think changing folder names is going to make a huge difference. I really feel the responsibility is on the original poster to state their needs.
Edited 11/22/2006 7:18 am ET by wendie72
Hi, Mary--
I think your suggestion could work for the board.
Mary, you and I are on the same wavelength with this. (See my "Deep Breath" post.) Anyway, I really feel it's essential to acknowledge that at any given point people are going to be in situations that others can't relate to completely. Some people have already lost a signifiant amount of weight and their goal is in sight. Some could lose 100 pounds and have significant weight to lose. How could both of those situations "feel" the same? Others have physical, mental, and emotional illnesses/problems that offer challenges that we can only help with by offering support and air time.
I love your suggestions for adding a new category. I think the emotional issues still need their space, regardless of how many or few of us post there. For some posters this might be the only safe place they can talk about their feelings. I can't imagine that weight gain or weight loss is an unemotional issue for anyone who is or ever was obese. At the same time, wallowing in our failures even for those who find that cathartic can go on ad nauseum.
Well, you have my commitment to helping others own the board. We can change what needs to be changed and still preserve what is so crucial.
All the best,
Annie
First off let me just say I am very hestitant of posting on this topic period. Why? Because I tend to be taking the wrong way a lot in face to face communicationa nd I fear my words being taken wrong in type as well although as to date they have not been and I am shocked. SO here is my 2 cents on the excuses post and well as the suggestions post. Mind you all I am not attacking or judging anyone with this, just my view on things. I personally feel that words can be taken so wrong sometimes and it is very hard to judge what meaning lies behind them. I do not feel like anyone was getting attacked per se but I can see where someone in a sensitive spot can take it wrong hence the reason I have been very careful of what I say. I am a bit confused by some of the responses because I just didn't see where the issue posted about was ever even mentioned so maybe I missed something but fact is I hope and don't believe anyone meant any harm. I personally don't like the in your face kind of support but just more of a listening and encouraging kind. That is just me. Like Misha I don't want to kick someone when they are down and fear someone stumbling into the wrong catergory and getting a response they don't expect so I agree that it would be better to post what you expect but there again poses a problem in not rememebering to do so everytime you post. I mean, if you are upset, angry, or whatever and your emotions are dictating as they tend to do sometimes then who is to say you are going to remember to say
Angela
I have to say I am more than a little upset by some of the things said in this thread.
AND that is the KEY here!! I have belonged to IVillage for something like 2 and a half years. And I have seen this happen on other boards.....and it usually starts the same way.
For me, I get offended SO easy, and I recognize that in myself. So, when something offends me, I just don't respond. That person could have SUCH a different life then me, and if I respond, and say things back, they will just get defensive, and it starts all over. So for me, that's the answer. Just let it go, and don't respond. Someone else may understand what their post was trying to say, and can give them the support that will have the most effect.
I have loved this board. I know I'm not a regular poster, but I do lurk, and read the posts, and get inspired by you ladies. I hope we can all just take a deep breath, and try to SUPPORT each other, even if that means you just don't respond to a post!
Strength to you all!
Tami
257/227/195
Mary,
One of the reasons this board is so much fun to come to is the amount of work you do to reply to everyone, find clever things to share with us, and think up questions and ideas for us to think/post about. It's Thanksgiving (almost) here, and I am thankful for you!
I think having sections like 'Support/Sympathy', 'Advice/Tough Love' and more use of the Celebration section would be great. It also might be good for people to think before they say 'Oh, that's OK, we all slip up' to think about a suggestion to add - like 'the last time I wanted to eat everything in my refrigerator, I hung a picture of me in my bathing suit on it-maybe that would help?' I know everyone has a million great ideas and a million more not so brilliant that could give us a smile if nothing else...
Just my opinion!
SJ
225-173-135
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