Hating my life right now

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Hating my life right now
11
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 7:55am

This is probably for another board, but here we go anyways.


I haven't been participating a lot lately..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 8:40am

OH poor Mary, I am so sorry you feel so down.


I wish things were better for you.........I hate coming to work too and I just started so don't feel bad there. I do hope things get better between you and your dh soon! Wish I knew what else to say. Hugs to you!!

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Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 10:20am

Dear Mary,

I wish I had the magic pill to help you through this time! It's painful to see someone who's been so positive and full of life hurting...

Work, I'm afraid, for most people, does suck much of the time. That's why they pay us to go there. I switched careers about three years ago to something less stressful and political (or so I thought), and -- guess what-- same old BS except the stakes aren't as high, and neither are the rewards! These days, I'm trying like mad to stay engaged and interested on my own terms and remind myself that it could be much worse. And <> I've taken to buying lottery tickets once in a while.

You've always seemed so enthusiastic about your career, and I really admire the choice you've made. Engineers do so much good in the world... where would we be without them? Is it "just" the political aspect that sucks right now? Would it be better somewhere else? Are you sure? Try to hang in there for now, and just do what needs to be done. If you give it a little time, the situation may improve without the need for drastic measures. Sadly, being good at what you do isn't always recognized or rewarded by others as soon as we'd like (until they HAVE to face facts and promote you or lose you, or at least all that enthusiasm that helps make them successful). Give them a little more time to come around, the bastards. Maybe the solution is to change jobs, but please don't make that choice hastily, while you're feeling down about life in general. And I'll buy a lottery ticket for you today... who knows?

As for home, <<<>>>. You have your beautful, beautiful son. Hold on to that! And you've been through a tough time recently, which may have been harder on both of you than you consciously realize. Having seen Leo fireworks (my DF), I have to admire your restraint thus far! Patience, time alone, exercise (argh, but true) may help you for now. And, speaking of magic pills, if this feeling continues, you may want to see your doctor.

Wishing you the strength to get through this, and much happiness in the near future,

Misha
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-1999
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 12:23pm

I hope this season of depression passes through your life quickly Mary.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:34pm

(((Mary))),

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling down. Thank you for trusting us enough to let us in on what's going on with you. When nothing seems to be going your way and relationships are strained it's so hard to feel good about yourself and your life. You are such an amazing woman and you deserve every happiness. (I'm sure the fact that everyone--including you expects you to be upbeat for the holidays though not the cause must make it seem more pronounced.)

Work and home and personal situations are so connected. Do you think that hormonally things are back to normal after your miscarriage? I never miscarried, but I know from taking fertility drugs that when your hormones are out of balance EVERYTHING falls out of whack. Maybe you can ask your gynie about it too if you are going to ask about depression in general.

Please take care of yourself and don't lose hope. Sometimes it takes time to work through tough times. Don't ever feel bad about posting here! I think the world of you and want to help in any way I can. Sending you PT and Ps. Annie

A
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:39pm

Mary I don't really know what to say, but I hate to see you so upset.

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Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:55pm
((hugs)) I'm sorry you're feeling so depressed.

Brightest Blessings

~Dayle~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 6:50pm

Sorry you're feeling down, Mary. I know from personal experience that acting on your present dislike of work and home, isn't the way to go. You are clearly upset. Give it some time so you know that any decisions you make (regarding home or work) are made when you are thinking rationally and responsibility (you have your son to consider). In the meantime, use all those strong emotions to power some serious workouts. I made a lot of bad decisions when I was depressed. If you think you are, seek help. Positive thoughts are prayers are with you. This too shall pass.

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 7:54pm

Mary,
I'm so sorry that you are sad right now. I think this time of year brings up a lot of feelings that we manage the rest of the year but for some reason, they just can't be kept under control now.

For work, do you want to be promoted because you think you'd like the work better in the new position or you'd like the recognition for your past efforts? I was 'passed over' for a position last spring, and frankly, only how much I pay for my wonderful trainer kept me from walking out the door - I couldn't have no income and justify that expense...but I actually ended up with a great boss who lets me have more freedom than the last one, and I am still doing a job I really like without having to take on some things that I wouldn't have liked - but of course I'm still disappointed and angry. Its frustrating to not get what we want/deserve.

If you are looking for new challenges, is there someting you can do in your current position that will be more interesting? If its recognition, are you making sure that all of your accomplishments are known to the right people? I think sometimes women are afraid to say how great they are, and guys are perfectly willing to take credit for finding the paperclips. You are obviously talented and smart - don't be afraid to make sure everyone knows it.

On the husband front, I have NO IDEA! But I'll say this - there aren't a lot of great guys running around loose, so if you have a pretty good one, its probably worth a lot of effort to mend fences - cause finding some other one is kind of hard. Does he know how you feel? I think we give guys credit for mind-reading when they can be pretty clueless - maybe you just need to find some alone time to talk?

And I second what everyone is saying about hormones - you've had a few losses lately-even having to move offices is upsetting to our routines. Make sure you are cutting yourself the right kind of slack.

One thing I do know is that nothing lasts forever, so try to both be good and gentle with yourself and to keep your eye on the big picture - our dreams will always have setbacks,but if they were things that were easy to get, we wouldn't call them dreams....

Thinking of you and wishing you a better tomorrow.

SJ
225-172-135

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 11:40pm

(((Mary)))Everyone else has said it all, I just want to give you hugs and support. I echo what everyone else said about talking to someone professional if this gets too overwhelming. I have been on antidepressant medication and it can really help. But I hope things brighten up before too long. I'll be sending you positive thoughts!

Mary #3

Avatar for susan970002
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 5:43pm

(((HUGS))) Mary,
I'm sorry your feeling so down right now. I hope things change for the better soon. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

-Susan

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