how do you motivate someone

Avatar for saej72
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
how do you motivate someone
9
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 11:55am

As some of you may know, me, my mom and my 3 sisters have a family challenge to lose weight.

my mom, who lives with us weighs about 295. and i know it is only 3 days into the new year but she hasn't even tried to change any of her eating habits.
she will snack all day long, plus eat 2 very large meals. what she snack on is chips, gardettos, shoestring pototoes.. all of which are high carbs and high fat. me and DH do most of the cooking and we try to make relatively healthy meals, but she will eat 2 huge plate fulls of food.
like last night I made chicken alfredo. I served up all the plates and then i put the leftovers in the fridge right away.. the servings were more than enough to feel full. 1 cup of the noodles and 1 chicken breast. but after she finished her plate she went to the fridge and ate more.. plus when i went to say good night to her she was on her bed reading and eating a bag of chex mix.

I don't want to seem like i'm naggin on her or act like I'm the "diet goddess" (cause we all know i'm not) but what more can i do...

Sara
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http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/samanthagrace/
http://saej72.extrapounds.com/
http://gilbegirls.blogspot.com

Sara  

342-300-200

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 12:13pm

I only have two suggetions and I'm not sure they're of any real help, but I figured I'd throw them in.


First, I've learned through experience that you cannot motivate someone who does not want to be motivated, whatever the goal is.

Brightest Blessings

~Dayle~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 5:19pm
I agree with Dayle that only when your mother wants to lose some weight will she actually become motivated. I think your weight loss is something you should be very proud of and let that serve as a motivation on her behalf. As you drop some weight and she sees how much more energy you have and the wonderful compliments from loving family/friends might motivate her. The only suggestion I have for the short term is to maybe cutback on the number of snacks that she has access to, though I am well aware that is not always realistic. GoodLuck!
- P
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 5:59pm

I have to agree with Dayle. Try cooking just enough for that meal so that there aren't any leftovers. My fiance and I cook enough dinner food for 3 portions. 1 for him, 1 for me and 1 for my lunch then next day. Although with all day snacking, I'm sure she'll find something else to eat if she really wants more.

Maybe you could try encouraging her to work on weight loss by other means. Add a water drinking challenge to the weight loss challenge. If she's like me, having all that liquid sloshing around in her belly will help her to eat less. If you and DH or sisters are going for a walk or to do other physical activities, try to get her to join in. If she starts losing weight, this may encourage her to eat healthier.

I don't want to get too personal (just trying to help), but is it possible that she eats all day because she is bored? Maybe mom needs a hobby. Something to keep her active while distracting her mind and tummy.

Good luck to all.

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 7:17am

I am agreeing with the previous posts.. you can never motivate anyone to lose weight. It has to come from within the person. I personally never started to lose weight until I decided.. ME, MY decision. And I would assume it's the same way for all of us. So unless it comes from within her, I'm afraid there is nothing you can say to make her do it. But I do agree that if she sees how you're progressing, then MAYBE this will start to get her motivated.


One thing you could do about the snacks is to make healthy snacks available.. make a bag of air popped popcorn and leave it on the counter.. if she has to snack on something, then high volume low calorie food could be a solution. But again I would say to make it available without pushing her. I have been nagged a lot about what I should and shouldn't eat and most often it this kind of talk backfired and I ate even more.

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Avatar for saej72
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 11:50am

I don't think her problem is boredom.. she works full time year round, plus during tax season she works 2 jobs full time.
I think she is so used to eating/munching all day long that it has become a habit

I've been making up lunches for her to take with to work, which she has been taking with her.
she has gotten much better about drinking water at work rather than her soda. and she did switch from regular Mt. Dew to Diet.
she has a major sweet tooth. if it has chocolate on it she will eat it.
as for health issues, she takes meds for high blood pressure, she is also on water pills because her legs swell, and this fall they also put her on meds for diabetes (even though they said she dosen't have to check her levels on a daily basis, which doesn't make sense to me)..
she doesn't really like fruits & veggies, so i try to sneak them into the food i'm making so she'll eat some of it..

thanks for the advise

Sara
342/280.6/200
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/samanthagrace/
http://saej72.extrapounds.com/

Sara  

342-300-200

Avatar for saej72
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 11:54am

i totally agree with you on the nagging thing , I hate it . It makes me want to do the total opposite of what i know i need to do.

I don't really tell Mom how to eat or say anything to her when she eats 2 huge plates of food.

The only thing that I have told her straight out is when she is having her "snacks" is to keep them out of sight from my kids (ages 3 and 1.5) otherwise they'll much on the junk food and then not want to eat dinner.

thanks.

Sara
342/280.6/200
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/samanthagrace/
http://saej72.extrapounds.com/

Sara  

342-300-200

Avatar for saej72
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 6:16pm

Howdy...

just wanted to update everyone, I asked mom if she had weighed in yet and how she was doing.. well she hasn't eaten a single donut since jan 1st and she stopped snacking on her chex mix stuff.. so she weighed in .. she was down to 291 she has lost about 5 pounds just this week.. she said "wow, i didn't think making those small changes would make such a difference.".. she's seen how much water i've been drinking and i showed her the article that someone posted about water, so now she is going to try to drink more water.

YIPPEE

Sara
342/280.6/200
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/samanthagrace/
http://saej72.extrapounds.com/

Sara  

342-300-200

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2006
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 6:36am

Sara, that's great! The problem is definitely not boredom (it was just a thought). The changes that she has made have certainly made a difference. Best of luck and continued success for you, your mom and the whole family ;0) Yea!!!!!

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 7:37am

That's great news Sara!! Send her my congratulations!!


Hey, how're you doing in the competition?

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