I feel guilty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
I feel guilty
16
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 6:52am

On Monday I went to my doctor and he said I need to lose weight. He said every month he wants to weigh me and wants me to lose around 10lbs per month. Since he said this. I didn't seem to go well this week on eating. But I been drinking my water. I also have been walking as well but I been not eating really well this week. I don't know why, I'm stressed with finances and sometimes can't afford healthy foods. I'm huge emotion eater. Tonight I'm home alone and I ordered 1 large pizza to myself and ate 4 slices and garlic bread to myself. Oh well I can start again tomorrow and hopefully I can keep on track.

Rochelle
250/234

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 7:25am

Hang in there. knowing that you slipped up and admitting it is a good start. It seems like sometimes we are always starting over tomorrow. ;o) yesterday was a perticualr poor eating day for me too. But If you are still getting your h2o and walking so you are still making some good choices. All we can do is keep tring!! Best of luck to you and the rest of us on our journey!

Betsy
mom to:
patrick 4-3-04
Andrew 12-27-96
Steven 1-28-94
and Aaron (dh) the biggest kid of them all!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 7:41am

Here's my thought on this Rochelle.

First of all, I am sooo proud of you for posting this, it isn't easy to admit a weakness and loss of control. But YOU are a strong woman and just proved it :) *hugs*

Second: You were all geared up and on track and excited to lose, but when you doctor said it and gave you a set amount within a deadline, it annoyed you, depressed you, hurt your feelings and scared you. No one likes to work with deadlines. So you ate the things that you know have brought you comfort in the past. My guess is your doctor is fairly average and probably never had a weight problem in his life. Otherwise, I think he would have been more careful. He of course is concerned for your health, which you already knew. Which is why he did that, he just did it badly.

I may be off base, but this is how I used to feel when I went to the docs and they said I was morbidly obese. Made me feel like, then what is the point? I'm already morbid :( (I really hate that term)

Now.. I have a few questions for you.

Did he give you any help? A diet plan? Exercise Routine? Weightloss Meds? Or did he just say, go lose?

My next question, )I want you to look deep inside you and be completely honest with yourself...) Are you ready to lose? (your mind is going to say of course you are, that you want to be thin and healthy... but look deeper, are you ready to make a life change for good or does that start to panic you?)

If you are feeling the panic with that question, then tell us, and lets see why you are panicking. With me, being an emotional eater too, there were underlying causes why I wasn't ready. Once those causes were faced, and even just brought to attention, (they didn't have to be resolved) I was able to stop the panic and get on with my life. Because all you need to do is let it click that you are ready. It's easy to type not as easy to do in real life, I know. But once you let it happen, it's going to be the easiest thing you have ever done.

If you are ready and your heart is happy and excited, then forget the doctors parameters and go throw out the rest of the pizza. Give it to a neighbor, just get rid of the left overs. Getting rid of the leftovers is going to give you a sense of control back and relieve the guilt you are feeling, and make you proud that you ARE ready to start another day.

You are in control of you, Rochelle, not the doctor, not anyone else in your life. You are strong as I said in the beginning. You CAN do it, I have absolutely no doubt at all.

Now as for the money thing... I am as broke as they get, lol. However, the healthy foods don't necessarily have to be expensive. Do you have a produce place nearby that you spend a few dollars and get massive amounts of veggies? Go buy some and spend the weekend freezing them, or making a low calorie cabbage veggie soup. Some of the things we get regularly we can get at just about the same price but with less fat. Like milk, and lite bread or whole grain breads are really only a quarter more. If you did slim fast for lunch and breakfast. that is only about a $1.50 a can. So you are spending $3.00 for half your day of eating. Different ways of looking at things can help rationalize that you CAN eat healthy and not spend tons of money.

Once again, my post is massively long and blunt. I'm sorry, I tend to get really wordy when I see someone strong struggling, I keep wanting to make sure you know that you are going thru something I can completely understand. I am confident in you and want you to succeed in letting the healthy you come out :) Just know that we are here for you, no matter what :) You can private email me anytime just to talk feelings or anything at all, if you like.

all I have to say is YOU GO GIRL! You are rocking already with the water intake and I think if you let the control of the food go, you are READY :)

I'm gonna shut up now, lol, since I can't seem to stop.

~ Kim
314/230/135

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 8:30am

My doctor didn't give me anything to work with not even pills. He against them. He concerned because I have high colestrol for my age. He a great doctor and he always been there for me when I went through a rough time. Yes I'm emotionally, mentally ready to start losing weight. I just don't know what to buy. I can't really bulk freeze cause I don't have enough room in my freezer since it small so it hard for me to buy a whole heap of fresh food to last 2 weeks without it going off. I buy alot of can and already frozen veges. Does those count?

Rochelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 9:14am

I'm am SOO glad to hear you say you are ready :) that is your most important step, is allowing your self the freedom to be in control of food and not food in control of you.

Frozen veggies are great. I have an apartment size refridge and freezer, so I know it can be hard to bulk freeze. Frozen veggies definitely count. Can veggies can have sodium that retain water, you have to be careful on that.

Have you been able to define where your struggle points are? Snacking? Sweets? Junk food? Late night? Have you found your "right" time of day to exercise?

I'm glad you trust your doc. However, sometimes we do need the help. Vitamin B12 is supposed to help your metabolism, you can check at vitamin stores for the right dosage. He can't say you shouldn't take your vitamins ;)

Look at the food in your house and your activity level. And no matter how small you think it is, what can you say you can definitely do? If it's not give up pizza, can you drink 16oz of water before you eat it? Can you make the switch from Sugar to Splenda? Can you go from whole milk to 2% or even 1%. Can you park on the farside of the parking lot places, everytime? Can you keep your stomach sucked in and straighten your posture every where you walk, sit, drive?

These are just examples to show you that it doesn't matter how small the change is, just find a few things that you are 100% confident you can do. If you are a little leary, find something else. Make sure that your are thrilled and excited to be able to make the tiny changes.

Do this for two weeks, and see where you are at. Even if you haven't lost 1 pound or 10 pounds, just taking CONTROL will make you feel like a million bucks. (I'm pretty sure you will lose at least 2 to 3 pounds minimum if you make the changes) - I hate to say forget the doctor, because I don't have a medical degree. But if he is giving you parameters and no help for it, then really, you might as well forget him. Do it for you. And if you lose 5 pounds a month, he should be thrilled that it's coming off ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 9:34am

I'm pretty much going to ditto Kim's post!

Brightest Blessings

~Dayle~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 9:36am

Cool I don't drive so we walk pretty much everywhere. I already changed from full cream to skim milk. I try to drink water with every meal. I do have problems with snacking, at night when I'm bored. That why I try to get on here so I can keep my fingers busy and mind distracted. I don't know what healthy to eat for snacks since I love chips. I don't like lollies so I fine not eating those it just chips.

Rochelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:18am

Dayle, you must typed when I was replying to Kim. When I go shopping in 2 weeks or tomorrow. I keep an eye out for slim fast. We don't have Walmart here so I have to go to the grocery store and look there. I will be buying some splenda as well. I didn't know that about eggs. I slowly learning. Once thanks for the tips.

Right now at 12.17am I'm drinking water and not eating.
Rochelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-1999
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:29am

I think your doctor is probably worried about you and you would have told him that you're already trying to lose weight - my guess is that he's trying to give you a goal to reach for, but like most people, doesn't know how to motivate you in a way that will work for you.


My doctor actually had a weight issue and she now runs a weight loss clinic (alongside the medical practice) for people at risk for or dealing with diabetes, heart issues, etc due to their weight.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:57am

That a good way of seeing things I need to stop saying 'can't' and say more 'can'. It more of a lifestyle change than a quick fix weightloss change what I used to do in the past. I will need to change the way I shop and buy more healthy and stay away from convience food. At least one good thing I don't drink cordial or pop. I drink water now and coffee.

Rochelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 11:27am
Hi Rochelle,
I wish you the best in restarting. I'm struggling with that right now too, and drooled a little like Pavlov's dog when I read about your pizza and breadsticks. LOL One of the things I'm grappling with is how to allow myself to have smaller portions of taboo foods. I have two school age kids. Pizza will always be around. I'm trying to retrain my thinking so that the pizza isn't the bad thing but eating mega-portions is! Good luck with your first 10 pounds! Annie
A

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