100 Days of Weight-Loss - Days 8 & 9
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| Fri, 01-19-2007 - 5:16pm |
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Day 8: Help me, please
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Do you ever wish you could get more support from people around you? If only the "helpers" in your life would know exactly what you wanted them to say! Unfortunately, they don't, and in fact, sometimes, they just make things worse.
With good intentions, people grab cookies out of your hand as they scold, "Should you be eating that?" Or they ignore you and don't say anything, even when you're wearing much smaller clothes or weighing 30 pounds less than you did a few months ago.
DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT
To get support instead of criticism from the people you love, you may have to train them. Instead of begging, "Please help me lose weight," or "Be nicer to me," clarify exactly what you mean by those words, then be more specific in your requests.
First, decide what type of support you truly need. Do you want words of encouragement? Silence? Help with cooking meals? Instead of being angry or frustrated because people don't do these things, let them know how they can help you.
Speak up about the challenges of leftovers or open pizza boxes. Maybe you wish family members would eat their snacks in another room instead of in front of you. If so, then tell them.
Set up agreements with your support people by saying, "It will help me if..." followed by what you want them to do. For example, you might say, "It will help me a lot if we don't have potato chips in the house right now. Would you be willing to eat them at work instead of bringing them home?"
PLEASE DON'T SAY THIS...
Be sure you also let people know the things you don't want them to do or say. For example, do you enjoy being praised or having people comment on your progress? Or would you prefer they not say anything about your weight or your looks right now?
Let people know which type of comments feel good to you compared to the ones that make you feel uncomfortable. Also tell them about specific phrases that set you off. For example, maybe you don't ever want family members to ask, "Is that on your diet?" Then decide what you'd like to hear instead and let them know.
TODAY
- In your journal, write a list of things that people are always welcome to say or do in regard to your weight-loss efforts. Examples might include offering you compliments, protecting you from dessert or clearing the table after meals.
- Create another list of things that you don't ever want people to do such as snatch your plate away, give you lectures, or admonish, "You're not supposed to be eating that."
- Read both lists to your support people including your spouse, your children, and your best friend.
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Day 9: Here's what I want
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Today you'll discover the secret to getting exactly what you want from all the support people in your life. But before you're able to let others know about the kind of support and encouragement you seek, you first have to decide what you want yourself.
In the quiz below, pick out the answers that fit best for you. Think carefully about your true preferences. Decide what motivates you as well as what frustrates you in your efforts. If the answers don't exactly fit for you, come up with some different ones that match your needs.
WHAT I WANT FROM YOU
1. If you see me eating something that's not on my diet plan
___ Ask me, "Should you be eating that?"
___ Ignore it entirely
___ Ask me if I've had a bad day
___ Give me a hug
2. When I'm making progress, such as losing weight
___ Compliment me on how I look
___ Praise me in front of others
___ Never comment on my progress in front of others
___ Give me non-food gifts or rewards
3. When I'm struggling or gaining weight
___ Tell me you notice and really care about my struggle
___ Ignore it entirely
___ Hug me and show me extra affection
___ Ask me how you can help
4. When I'm making progress you can't see (such as improving my self-esteem)
___ Ask me how my efforts are going
___ Compliment me on how I look
___ Ignore my efforts and my changes
___ Give me non-food gifts or rewards
5. When I've maintained my weight (even though I may still want to lose more)
___ Tell me you are proud of my current efforts
___ Ignore the subject entirely
___ Ask me if I'm struggling or feeling discouraged
___ Compliment me on my looks and my efforts
TODAY
- Complete this quiz, then read your answers out loud to one of your support people such as your spouse or good friend.
- Post your answers on your refrigerator or in some other location where your support people can be reminded of what you want.
- Write the most important answers in your journal for future reference.
| Sat, 01-20-2007 - 9:37am |
| Mon, 01-22-2007 - 6:23am |



