100 Days of Weight Loss - Day 10

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
100 Days of Weight Loss - Day 10
2
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 4:18pm

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Day 10: Appreciate good support
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Getting support from others involves give and take. When people give you solid, helpful support, let them know you appreciate it. Be willing to talk about your goals and your plans for achieving them. Take time to share some of the stories about your progress, especially in areas that don't involve the numbers on the scale.

Remind people that what they can see is only a small part of your plan. Then tell them about what they can't see - how you've curbed your emotional eating, stopped the McDonald's run on the way home from work, and eliminated all of your extra snacks.

LEARN TO RECEIVE COMPLIMENTS

Do you feel uncomfortable when you get noticed? If so, you may need to practice the art of accepting compliments and praise more graciously. It's easy to discount people's comments because of your own frustrations or opinions. But when you react to compliments in a negative way, it makes people think their support doesn't mean anything to you.

Whenever someone offers you a genuine compliment about your progress, try to respond warmly to the person who pays you the compliment. For example, if people remark that you look great because you've lost weight, don't minimize their words by saying, "Yes, but I still have such a long way to go."

Instead, use your response to affirm and appreciate the other person by saying something such as, " You can't imagine how much it means to hear you say that. Than you!"

DON'T SET THEM UP

Avoid hooking people with awkward questions they can't answer honestly. Here are some examples:

- Does this dress make me look fat?
- Can you tell if I've lost any weight?
- Does my fat stomach bother you?

People hate these questions! They know you'll probably get upset with their answers or you'll even accuse the of not telling the truth. If you feel insecure or you struggle with your self-esteem, focus on dealing with these issues instead of punishing your support team.

During times when people get impatient about your progress, guide them on how to support you when you aren't doing well. Let them know it's not their fault - they aren't responsible for the changes you're making in your life. Simply appreciate their concern by saying, "It's so nice to know that you'll be here for me when I'm ready to work on this."

TODAY

- Ask a friend or family member to compliment you on anything from your weight loss to your hair or your clothes.

- Come up with a response that affirms the person who gave you the compliment. For example, you might say, "You really made my day by telling me that! Thank you so much!"

- Record your favorite responses in your notebook.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 4:00am
Ok this is a really tough one. To this day when someone tells me I lost weight (hey 30lbs does show) I deny that I'm even trying. I get so defensive when somebody compliments me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 12:40pm

You know, I am the same way. I think I just don't like bringing attention to myself. It makes me uncomfortable when people make comments. Some years back I lost a lot of weight (around 80 pounds) and everyone I worked with was just so astounded and made such a big deal about it, I started to feel badly - it had something to do with their utter surprise at how much I was losing and I think I took it to mean that subtly they were saying something bad about me.

This time around I think I have a lot more confidence and overall sense of self-worth than I did back then, but I still don't like people making a fuss. It's just too much. Hopefully we both can learn to be more direct with people about what feels good to us and what doesn't.

~ Kristin