He's setting me back...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
He's setting me back...
4
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 3:34am
My boyfriend has told me many times that he wants me to lose weight. I really want to too. I'm up to 244 after my second child. The problem is... I'm trying to stay on a diet, but every time we have a meal together, he gets upset if I don't eat as much as him, or if I skip something really fatty. It's hard enough to tell myself I don't need the extra helpings, but it makes it harder when he puts it on my plate for me. I'm confused with the whole situation. any suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:39am
Have you tried bringing the subject up at non-meal times? Sometimes the worst time to discuss food issues, oddly enough, is at meal time. He may not even realize that he's sabatoging you, and not even notice the contradiction himself. My DH and I struggle with that because we both really enjoy good food. So many of our great times have had great meals attached to that. Now he's a normal weight but with elevated cholesterol, and I'm years into being obese. We're working hard to find a way to still savor food, but not have it be central to how we spend time together. All the best, Annie 252/235/156
A
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:01am

That's a really nasty situation. It really sucks when the people at home are not very supportive, or worse, try to sabbotage you.


You have to sit down and talk to him about it (not during the actual meal time when you're trying to say no, but sit down and really talk to him about it). Explain to him how he's messing you up and how you really want to lose the weight. I heard a lot of times that men get insecure (thinks you'll be too good for him once you lose the weight), so maybe emphasise that you're doing this for your health and so on (instead of emphasising on the looks factor)


I hope you can get this situation solved. Please keep us updated

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 1:40pm

I've been there, and it stinks.


It sounds as if he feels threatened by your weight loss.

Avatar for saej72
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:51pm

Have you flat out told him that by him putting extra food on your plate and things like that are not helping you with your program..

I know that even though my husband is very supportive about my weight loss, sometimes he will say things to me that really piss me off... such as.. "are you sure you're hungry, maybe you should drink some water first".... my typical responce to him (now) is "What are you the food police?!? because when I 1st started my wieght loss journey, i told him that these small little comments, even though he is trying to help me, only make me want to just eat whatever I want just to prove him wrong...

just be open with him, and eventually it will get better.

Sara

Sara  

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