Weird problem -- any ideas?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Weird problem -- any ideas?
8
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 2:38pm

One of the hardest issues I have to deal with in fighting my weight is going to sound very weird, and believe me, my therapist and I are talking a lot about it.


Since I was a child until just a few years ago, people frequently stole the food right off my plate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 4:46pm
Mary, I have no idea how you feel but I still wanted to send you hugs and wish you the best in overcoming this.

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Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 9:23pm

Mary,

Thanks for being so open about this. My experience isn't the same as yours, but I often wonder about a common occurence from my childhood and how it has stuck with me. One of my challenges is that I almost never "feel" full, and recall often wanting more to eat than I was permitted. I have three older brothers, and at the table and away from the table both my parents used to say "Stop trying to keep up with your brothers!" I wasn't denied adequate food and though I wasn't obese as a kid I tended to be a bit overweight. Was I equating food with love, or was I fighting against what I saw as another double standard? Or did I simply come with a broken fullness indicator? Ugh!

Annie

P.S. How was Altan?

A
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 10:00pm

Mary,
Not exactly the same thing, but I hate to 'share' food in a restaurant- I feel like I'll either take more than my share or get less than my share, and I lose either way. I do share food, but only if I know I am going to be satisfied with less than half.

One thing I like about living alone is that my food is my food - if I buy it, I can't deceive myself that its some other person who is going to eat it, and if I don't want it right then, there's no danger that it will be gone when I decide I want it.

No matter how much we try, I think 'food' is still 'love' to a lot of us, and if we didn't get enough of one, the other seems to be a substitute...and if we didn't get enough of either one, then its easy to think that now that we can get all the food we want, it might fill up the spaces where the love should have gone...

Good for you for recognizing your feelings - they are very legitimate and the best way to conquer what drives our eating is being able to label it and work on the underlying causes...this is such a complicated business, isn't it?

Happy almost St. Patrick's Day!
SJ
225-172-135

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 6:42am
Not exactly the same thing, but similar. I was bigger than my sister when we were growing up (not really overweight, just bigger, a lot bigger). And I was bigger compared to all my relatives (we were all 0-3 years age difference). So I was constantly denied dessert, or given a really small portion. Constantly being eyed when reaching out for candy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 11:51am

That's a tough one. I think we've all experienced similar stuff. But any adult who takes food off another's plate needs to learn manners. Where were they born a barn? For crying out loud, that is the rudest thing I've ever heard of.

One thing I can tell you is it sounds like you need to set some firm boundaries. If someone tells you, "You don't need it", pull them aside, tell them that your weight issues are YOUR issues, not theirs and they will worry about whether or not you "need" it. Also, if this BS is still going on, you may need to talk to whomever is doing this to you that your weight is a sensitive issue. That belittling you and talking about it doesn't help, it makes it worse. And if they still can't respect your boundaries, you may want to make the choice to not be around them. It's not worth being around people who can have a negative impact on your weight loss efforts.

I'm not sure how much weight you've lost this far, but I know for myself, people have really stopped watching my food consumption, even when I was off my plan, because they can see I'm making a successful effort at weight loss. If nothing else, maybe that's
some motiviation to get the extra pounds off, you know, to keep them off your back.

Growing up I experienced something sort of similar. I was a figure skater and had to make my weigh-in each month in order to continue to compete. Because of the amount of money my parents spent on my skating, they kept an extremely close eye on what I ate my entire childhood and teen years. I wasn't allowed junk, pop, all that. So, when I stopped skating I went all out. I was sneak eating just so I could have a donut. I packed on my first 50 extra pounds within the first year of quitting skating. To this day I find myself not wanting to eat certain foods in front of people. But I've decided that it hurts noone but myself. Cuz when I eat alone, I make up for it and then some and then I get angry. So, try to leave your past experiences in the past. Focus towards your future and get some healthy boundaries in place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 11:54am

"Did I come with a broken fullness indicator"

You know what Annie. I have a girlfriend who was severly overweight for alot of her life. Turns out she does have medical thing wrong. Some chemical that triggers the brain to indicate that you are full doesn't work right and so she NEVER experiences the sensation of feeling full. Hence, eating to no end. Once it was figured out, she was able to deal with it. She's lost over 100 pounds. If you feel you don't feel the sensation of being full, you may want to check into that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 2:46pm

Thanks for the thought Dani. I've had all the tests done because basically I've yet to encounter a doctor who believes me when I tell them how I tend to eat. Oh I've always done a little binging and when I do it's with high fat, high calorie foods don't get me wrong. However, on a big eating day I average around 1700 - 1800 calories. I just almost always push away from the table before I feel sated.

P.S. I like having you with us again!

A
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 3:55pm
Gee, thanks Annie. It's nice to be back. I just missed you guys so much!