Never....
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 03-16-2007 - 4:43pm |
When Mary asked the question this week about what we'd do when we reach goal weight, I realized that I think I will never reach...which was kind of a shock.
I haven't weighed 135 since I was in my early 30's - almost 20 years ago. But at that weight I was a size 10-12, and that seems to me like the size I 'should' be, and the BMI indicators seem to think that is the 'right weight for my height (almost 5'4").
It isn't that I am discouraged by this realization, because my actul goal starting out was to change my life, and I've done that. People who meet me now meet the person who goes to the gym and eats on a plan - they don't know the woman who lived on candy and chips, who went home every night and read in bed while watching TV. I like (love) myself more now and have much more confidence. I feel like a nicer person and I am much happier.
But I seem to have lost the sense of what I'm working towards. It's like I no longer know what is possible - at my age, what is my body capable of? If I stay at this level of committment, will I maintain? Or keep losing? Or will the weight creep back? And if I'm not losing, can I stay motivated to work this hard? This week, work has been a challenge, and the time for the gym has been hard to find. I've done it, but it was hard to make myself. If I'm not making 'progress', will I still make that sacrifice? And focusing on the food this month has made me aware of how much I eat (and not everything makes it to the log because sometimes I eat late at night and I don't go back and edit-like if I don't write it it didn't happen) And can I make the changes that I need to with food to move the weight down? And do I really want to?
I've scheduled a session with my trainer on Sunday to try to work through this - to figure out what my goals actually are and re-do my plan to meet them. I'm hoping that saying this to all of you and then to him will help me figure out what I really want and what I'm willing to do to get it (another of Mary's questions for the week that I didn't have an answer for)
Thanks for listening.
SJ
225-171-135?

Pages
See what I mean SJ, you are a fantastic motivator. LOL Thanks for all the kind words. One correction though, Kaiti is the oldest. LOL
Angela
Pages