Child Advocacy or Discrimination?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
Child Advocacy or Discrimination?
10
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 9:45am

Just interested in hearing some opinions:


As many of you know my kids are adopted.

Annie

"We do not think ourselves into new ways of living.  We live ourselves into new ways of thinking."  &nbsp

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 11:26am

Annie,
Do you think its because they want to make sure that the children end up with healthy parents who will live a long life and teach them a healthy lifestyle? Is that the only change they made? Like are smokers excluded? People with chronic medical conditions?

I do think it must be heartbreaking for a country to recognize that they don't have the resources to care for their own children - we have so much in America (not everyone, not spread around enough maybe, but enough). Imagine what we would think if people came from China to bring children born here to China so that they would get a better life? I am not saying ANYTHING negative about adoption, domestic or foreign - I think that there must be some grand master plan and children end up with the parents they are meant to have, no matter how that comes about. I am only saying that there must be tremendous pressure on governments in countries that allow/promote international adoptions. And China is looking to take its place on the world stage as a first world nation, so maybe this is part of that.

Hug your kids extra hard today! Aren't you all lucky to be a family?
SJ
225-169-135

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 9:21pm

Wow!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 8:37am

IMO it would be discrimination if obesity was the only creteria. Like SJ said, do they have rules against smoking and existing medical conditions? People with diabetes and heart desease in general?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 9:23am

Hey all,

We have friends who went through this exact thing. They are both well education, deeply religious, musically talented, financially very secure, and have a very strong marriage. The only problem they had is that she has a BMI over the allowed amount; he does not. Due to that, they were excluded from many countries as a source for adoption. They ended up trying for a local open adoption. They received their little girl almost 2 years ago, from a city 2 hours from where they live. They have met the birth mother and have the history of the birth father.
It ended well for them, but what an ordeal. We even were asked to write/answer questions as to why we thought they deserved a child. Wow. I think that some biological parents should go through so much trouble before they can have children KWIM?

Akira

Avatar for saej72
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 5:42pm

I guess they'd rather keep their kids in overcrowded shelters than let us fat parents adopt them and love them. Their loss.

I don't think me being fat makes me a a bad parent (or a good parent for that matter).

Sara
342 -- 261.6 -- 200
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/samanthagrace/

Sara  

342-300-200

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 10:42pm

I don't necessarily think that it is discrimination.


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 7:39am

Thanks for sounding off on this.

Annie

"We do not think ourselves into new ways of living.  We live ourselves into new ways of thinking."  &nbsp

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 9:17am

This one I will post on, the other issue I have mixed feelings about so.........


BUT to take a child away from natural parents without that child being in danger of some sort would really tick me off!! It is a violations of human rights and downright stupid in my opinion. I can tell you right now I may not be the perfect parent, but I love my children and would give my life for them and I don't give a crap if my BMI was through the roof or my weight nothing would change that. Someone tried to take my kids because of it and they would have to go through me first. Now my BMI is 38 so I am a little below the 40 mark but to me BMI is not a true dictator of health because there is such a thing as a fit fat person!! I am basing my BMI on the online calculotors but in finding some that tell you how to measure body fat, my body fat is not as high as my BMI would indicate. SO I just don't think anyone should base there whole perception of someone's fitness on BMI and I dont' think it matters how fat you are to raise your own child. I don't really think it matters with adoption either BUT I can see where it is coming from. They do screen for other health problems and Obesity is beginning to be seen as a health problem more so than just a "I don't care attitude" problem.


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Angela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2007
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 9:54pm
Well, looks like they'd rather have their orphans starved inside the country, rather than giving them a chance of family happiness that might come with extra weight.
Anyway, the last thing we want to do is try to find logic in all that. I lived in China for half a year, and I grew up in Russia (which has a foreign adoption controversy going on). In those countries where laws are made solely by government, the last things they consider is kids' and adopting parents' happiness. They might give good reasons for the new law, but most likely the real reasons would be different. The new limitations are there not to protect somebody. It's just perhaps somebody didn't get a bribe big enough.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 9:00am

Anna,


I really appreciate you sharing your insights.

Annie

"We do not think ourselves into new ways of living.  We live ourselves into new ways of thinking."  &nbsp