How Committed Are You?
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| Sat, 04-21-2007 - 11:45am |
This is a question I ask myself all the time...when I'm frustrated because I'm not losing weight, when I'm eating an extra slice of pizza, when I choose the Coke over the water, when I buy some chocolate at the store...you get the idea.
How do you measure your committment to getting healthy? How do you figure out how to 'make it stick' and really and truly change your habits and ultimately your life?
I think this is something I'm starting to work out - I don't have the answers yet, which is why I'm posing the questions...so far, I'm learning that FOR ME, it's about making ME a priority. There are so many demands on our time as women, and it's my experience that those of us with weight issues put ourselves even further from the top of the priority list - we don't like ourselves very much so we don't feel that we're worth taking care of - from filling our bodies with the proper fuel that will make everything work well (now really, would you put crappy gas into your new BMW?) to sitting on the couch, missing out on a lot of the fun parts of life because we 'don't want to embarrass ourselves or our families' or 'we don't want to hold the group back'.
Just thinking out loud...any input?
Kelly


Kelly,
I think you are exactly right - to make this work, I have had to make it the most important thing in my life. I have the kind of job where I could work 18 hours every day and never be done. I could have dinner from the vending machine every night - and corn chips, I have learned, do not count as a vegetable. And I have family that loves me, but one way to show love in my family (and I think in a lot of families) is to cook for people - and if you don't eat what is cooked for you, its rejecting love. And food is a comfort thing for me, and a social thing - I live alone and a lot of times I go out for a meal to be with other people-even if they are people I don't know.
I had to tell my boss - three nights a week I will have to leave at this time to go to the gym. I will come back if there is a problem, or I will check on things from home, but I HAVE to leave And he understood and accepted that this was important to me. In four years, there has only been one time when I absolutely could not leave for the gym, and I knew early in the day so I could cancel my training appointment. A few times I've gone back to work, and most nights I do check e-mail at home, but people know I am leaving on time, and they support it(and I think it actually makes it easier for everyone else who have familiy commottments to leave on time).
If I do stay late, at 5:30-6:00, I go out and buy dinner and bring it back - I admit that I am eating dinner in the building, not having six crappy snacks before I eat 'dinner'.
And I have been very honest with my family - that what I am doing is very important to me, that I know they love me, but that I cannot always accept love in the form of food. There have been some hurt feelings, but I have learned that I can survive that.
I am not a wife/mother, so I am able to put myself first without the guilt that so many people feel. That is one of the tradeoffs - I know that I miss out on some things because I didn't connect with someone, but it has some up side. The only thing I can say is that I do believe that the people who love us want us to take care of ourselves and be happy. I don't know how we internaliize the message that others deserve more than we do, but it seems pretty universal. Taking care of ourselves is not a luxury, it is a necessity - if we die young, how does that help the people we love? What does that give them? And what example are we setting?
As far as staying committed, I have a friend who has a lot of trouble managing money - she buys a lot of little things all the time and then can't afford some big things she would really like. We talk about this, and what I've said to her is 'When you buy coffee from Starbuck's, or another new blouse, you need to say to yourself 'I want this more than I want to own a house' She has not actually taken this advice, but I turned this on myself. When I am contemplating something that I know isn't on my plan, I try to say 'I want this chocolate cake more than I want to be a size 10' or whatever. Sometimes it works, and I think 'No, I don't'. And sometimes I think, 'at this moment, yes, I do' and I go for it.
This is a great question, and I am looking forward to reading other people's answers.
Right now, I am very committed! but it comes and goes...
Have a great weekend!
SJ
225-169-135
HI Kelly
it isn't easy but you first need to make yourself a priority convincing you and everyone involved closely in your life. its for your health! you also need to stay focused 200% of the time. it does work.
My mother used to tell me anything worthwhile is hard work and that definitely pertains to losing weight. you are not going to 100% every day but if you aim for that you will most days. we all have good and bad days but must focus on the good ones. the secret is jumping right back on program the next meal not the next day. all it takes is a deep breath and large glass of water.
believe and you will succeed!
Sue
302/138/160
Sue
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Kelly, thank you very much for this post. I read it yesterday morning and it helped a