what happens now
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what happens now
| Wed, 04-25-2007 - 6:04pm |
well I like to walk a couple times a week. i noticed that people are saying as i walk by particulary men saying "boy she's fat" or call me a fat A___ B___ which happens a lot . I live in philly. I even was in a in drug store once with my shirt 1/2 inch showing belly fat a woman walkewd right up to me and pulled my shirt down. i was very angry cause why a little belly skin can't show when MANY skinny women show much moree. and why do females get called mean names but a 400 lb guy is ok by standards.,... this is wrong!!!

I'm so sorry you had that experience. Similar things have happened to me many times. I came to realize over time, however, that those hurtful comments said much more about them than about me. I now believe anyone trying to improve themselves should be given the utmost respect for having the courage to break out of their "comfort circle." We all have issues to deal with, even if they can't be seen on the surface.
Now I actually try to have fun by figuring out what is wrong with them! What in their own lives is causing them so much pain that they need to say hurtful things to others? Is is so difficult for them to change their own lives, that they feel threatened by me making improvements in my own life? Am I just reminding them that they are not making any efforts in their own life?
It may be silly, but it helps to remind me that we all have parts of our life that we want to change. We are the ones actually doing something about it though!!
Congratulations on the walking!!!! It will make you feel better every day, and serve as a regular reminder of why you are making this commitment to yourself!! :)_
KD
Good Luck.
Sharon
I don't advise confrontation with anyone in this crazy world - but wouldn't it be great if you could say 'Some day I'll be thin...do you think you'll always be a jerk?'
We didn't 'talk' about the shootings at VT much on the board. I am not advocating feeling sorry for the person who did it, but it cetainly seems that he was a sad, lonely, isolated person. I wonder if people who make nasty remarks to people they don't even know realize that they are contributing to making that person feel badly and maybe making them feel isolated and like they want to lash out at people? So many people who post here are so nice and reach out to others - and I'm sure that is true in 'real-life', not just here. The world would be so much a beter place if people would just treat each other with a little kindness.
Don't let what ignorant people say hurt you-keep walking and just turn and give them your most beautiful smile...
SJ
225-169-135
I'm reminded of two quotes ...
He who angers you conquers you.
They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.
I have been where you are. No need to dwell on the strangers, no need to give them power. Be strong, hold your head up and focus on those who are good around you. They are there, just need to ignore and move on from the negative and focus on those that are lights in our life. We can not control those around us, only our reactions to them ... don't give them power they are not entitled to.
Colleen
Angela
Welcome back Maryann!!
I'm sorry you're facing these situations.. I think many people think it's amusing or something to herass others on the street. And I believe for a lot of people it develops into a hobby. What I believe is that I can't control what other people are saying/thinking. But I can control how I react towords this. I don't care what people say and this strips the power from them.
And please don't get me started on how men can get away with lots of things women can't..
Sadly some people never grow out of being bullies, and that's all those idiots are.
Annie
"We do not think ourselves into new ways of living. We live ourselves into new ways of thinking."  
Very good advice! Pigs are pigs ... only the oink is different!
some people are just big A-holes. just be glad that you aren't married to them or have to be in their family.
Luckily i haven't had complete strangers say bad things to me or within hearing distance.
and yes it is a huge double standard, a fat man isn't looked upon as harshly as a fat woman.
Sara
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Sara
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