Hard Truths
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| Sun, 05-06-2007 - 12:25pm |
In three weeks, I will reach the four year anniversary of the start of this journey. When I started, I thought it would take three years to get to where I wanted to be, and that once I was 'done' I'd somehow be 'done' and could move on to other things. But I've had a lot of time to think in the past few weeks, and I now realize that there is no end to this-that I will have to keep working at this forever, even after I get to where I want to be. I always knew this was 'a lifestyle change', I just wasn't internalizing what that meant.
Between walking and the gym or whatever I do at home, it takes me two, three or more hours a day to sustain the exercise effort to maintain this program. Some of the walking time comes from 'commute' time, so its multi-tasking, and the gym time comes a lot from 'television' time, but still, it is a lot of the day.
And there is a cost to the gym - I never really think of it as I go along, but the gym and the training is expensive - I am not taking money away from someone else's needs, just making a choice of my own priorities, but it is still a factor.
And eating on a plan is time consuming too - I have to decide what I'm going to eat, go to the store and buy it, prepare it, remember to pack it, then eat it. Much more time consuming than just running out and getting whatever I want that someone else prepared. And making sure I pay attention to how much protein I have and getting more before I run out.
I've gotten to this point gradually, so I didn't really think about how much time this is taking-and I love the result, its just hard to think that I'm going to dedicate this much time to this forever. Although I can't really say that it has been detrimental to anything. I still manage to get my work done, and I don't think that anyone says-Oh no, SJ's not here, she's at the gym...everyone in my life knows that I am going to make time to work out, and that I have times I am going to say 'I need to eat now'. It's just that I never realized in the beginning what it was going to take to make this happen.
And I didn't count the time I spend on this board-which is at least another half hour a day. I knew it was important to me, but yesterday when I was watching things happen at work, I was compelled to respond to so many people who posted while I was away - I realized how important this is to me and how much it helps.
I guess I am gearing myself up to make the next year's committment - after three years I knew I'd need a fourth, and soon I'll be saying 'I'm in the fifth year of my three year plan'.
SJ
225-168-135

SJ,
I totally agree. I've been having similar thoughts as well. One of the best parts about working out is getting time to just think and reflect on this journey. Lately I've been thinking about how different my life is now compared to my old habits. I don't sit around anymore like I did in the past. It requires a lot of effort to keep up the new changes, but I feel so much better as the reward.
I also felt in the beginning that weight loss would be like crossing a finish line and then I would be done. I really liked what you said about not internalizing the "lifestyle change" right away. I guess the life I have now is so different from where I was coming from, that I never really understood what a healthy, balanced lifestyle was.
So to keep going in the right direction, I am trying to limit some of my old "time wasters." They included watching reruns of TV shows I've seen several times, surfing the internet with no specific question or goal, computer games, etc. It's hard to keep up the effort at times, but now I realize this time committment will be necessary forever.
KD
First off, congrats on "officially" getting down to 168
I'm not sure if I'm off topic here.. but
I guess this is where I am really struggling the most. I mean I don't want to have to work that hard for the rest of my life. I don't have time to work that hard for the rest of my life. I mean don't get me wrong I know once school is done things will get easier, I know that as the kids grow things will get easier, but I still don't think I want to take that time away from my family to go to work out every night like I used to. I don't think I want to have to put forth that effort. That is why I am working so hard to find a way to lose without trying so hard, a way that fits into my life and I can keep up for the rest of my life. I don't know how some of these ladies do it. I mean, work, home, kids, dh's......I would keel over from the effort. I am hoping that natural movement, you know while working, taking care of home/family will help without having to put forth strenous effort. I love to go for walks, so that isn't an issue. If my back would have let me I would have went for a few walks this past weekend just to be myself. Walking helps me relax, but unfortunately I don't see myself in the gym working out no more. I used to love it but I just don' t have the time/inclination anymore. So
Angela
Hi, SJ, and congratulations again on all the progress you've made! I'm so happy that even though you're far from 100+, you're still around to share all that you've learned (and continue to learn) with everyone here.
I loved reading this post. It really made me *think* about lifestyle change and commitments. You obviously value highly your commitments to your career, your family and your friends... AND to yourself now (but not without some qualms that it might take time away from someone else's needs?).
And that's the same sort of behavior I notice in all (really, all) the "skinny" women of my acquaintance. Jobs/school/boyfriends/husbands/children/pets/families in whatever combination are all important, but after reading your post (duh), I realize that they all unapologetically take time for themselves, too. Whether it's the long lunch hour at the gym, getting DH to watch the kids while they go to aikido lessons, or taking everyone along for the ride when they're cooking healthy meals, if it's done in a matter-of-fact manner, they never seem to suffer from "backlash".
So the time, and the cost, aren't unique to those of us 100+. Maybe the angst is? At any rate, SJ , I get the impression that the things you're doing for yourself are improving your overall quality of life. I hope some of them are enjoyable in their own right, too!
PS-- the rest of you: I don't think I've ever encountered a nicer bunch of women than on this board... you all deserve it too!
Misha -
I just wanted to jump in quickly and say congratulations on the 5.5 lb. weight loss!
WOO HOO :)
KD
Sorry it took me so long to respond :).
Congratulations on the four years...sure it took you longer than you expected, but after four years, you are still at it!
Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful and moving responses. (Some day I hope to figure out how to reply to ALL).
One of the many things I love about this board is that we are all at different places in our lives and yet we have so much in common.
I appreciate all of the very kind words and all that you shared in these responses.
Mary-I do hope the cooking/food prep part gets easier.
Staci-your meals always sound so interesting. I find that when I write my food entries, they are very similar from day to day, and I hope to expand my repetory!
Besy wishes to us all!
SJ
225-168-135