Husband Has Moved Out
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| Thu, 05-24-2007 - 12:27pm |
Ok I know this is a board ment for weightloss but I feel as though you guys are some of my only friends that are going thru this same journey as I am. I am sorry to bother you with my problems and feeling but I just need to vent.
Here goes.......my husband has moved out. He left for work yesterday and then didn't come home during his hour lunch period. I wasn't to worried because when they are short staffed he doesnt have the time to leave me a message let alone come home. So then he didn't come home after work either......i said thats ok he may have went to the gym as he sometimes does without me. He always says its cuz he has a difficult time focusing when he's watching me. So after what seems like millions of calls to his cell which he didn't bother to answer or return I went to bed alone, woke up alone, and still no answer from him. Called his work today and he did show up there so I know he's not off dead somewhere.............but man I'm angry. So angry and hurt that I already have ate an entire gallon of icecream that I had to walk to the carryout in town to buy. Which was a 5 mile walk each way. I just feel so down and out right now and I have no one to talk to about this issue. We hadn't even been arguing lately so this is totally out of the blue.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Thanks for listening.............Angie

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Well Congratulations on the baby(ies) LOL. Really I am really happy for you and I do hope his fears are put to rest and that you two become close than ever before!!
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!!!
Angela
Angie,
I read your message and felt an immediate connection to you. I think that you are better off without this guy. I know that you don't want to hear that right now but it's true. He obviously does not care about you or he is a low-life coward or maybe both. Either way you deserve better. You can puul your life together and live a full rich satisfying life. You don't need a guy like him. Find really good friends and family to fulfil your life. Go back to school. Start a business. Take a vacation. Do something that you have always wanted to do. Embrace your freedom! I have been divorced 3 times and I know how much it hurts but I am living proof that there is life after a breakup.
Sandy
Unfortunetly, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Shortly after a year of my husband and I being married, he just didn't come home from school one day. He didn't come home that night. So my then 10 month old daughter and I sat in a dark room and I cried. I cried and cried and cried. I thought he was dead. I thought there was no way he could ever leave me. We never fought or argued, we had a wonderful relationship.
I sobbed all night. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I could'nt move. It was physically hard for me to function. The next day, I called my credit card company and found out that he had bought a bus ticket to Seattle, WA. I was flabbergasted. My husband? No way. He's not that type.
So I did what any other sane person would do (yeah right!), I found out his bus schedule and drove from Madison, WI to Fargo, ND trying to find him. He saw me and I screamed and said "What the hell did we do to you for you to take off on us?" And he said "This life isn't for me."
"What the hell?" I screamed. "We have a baby together. We have a beautiful little girl and you don't love us anymore? What did we do to you?" At that point, I lost it and collapsed to the ground and cried, I said "Please come home. I need you. I love you and I would do anything for you."
At this point, he said "Okay. I'm so sorry." And he looked like he wanted to cry. He wasn't cheating on me, he loved me, he was just scared and confused.
Men are weird. To this day, I still am terrified my husband will not come home. It scares me more than anything in this world. But I realized something about myself that day, I am so much stronger than I thought I was. I held up. It was hard, but I did it.
He'll call or come home to talk and you need to show him that you are strong and you are concerned, but not hysterical.
I've been there, it's the worst, but try to keep your head up and stay busy.
Lyssa
I'll never understand how men can do these things, thinking they're perfectly justified. I know you're angry hon, but don't take it out on yourself. I'm sure the 10 mile walk did wonders for you, but anger-induced ice cream eating isn't going to bring him back OR help you lose weight. Don't you let him throw you off that horse, most men aren't worth it. And if he does come back, he's going to come back to the same strong, independent, determined girl we all have come to know on the boards. And if that happens you can let him know that whether he leaves or stays, it's not going to hold you back or keep you from your goals. You're a fighter!! You have to be!
No matter what happens with you two, I hope the end result that comes about is whatever is best for YOU. Take your anger out the same way my mum did when my dad left us out of the blue 8 years ago: hit that pavement and walk like a madwoman. Lift weights, do sit ups, and when you don't feel like being angry anymore, cool down with some yoga. Anger is the most motivating emotion out there, embrace the drive and not the ice cream!
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