This is my leap, please catch me

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
This is my leap, please catch me
12
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 4:24am

This is my leap, please catch me.

I am brand new to the board as of this moment and I guess writing this is my declaration of my needing help to become a healthy weight and my surrender to the fact that I have not been able to motivate myself to do this on my own.

I am a nurse. I know better. I really know better! I even think I know what to do. The thing that is so pathetic is that I have patients under my care everyday who are dying right in front of me from completely preventable diseases related to weight. Many of them are smaller than me. That should be motivation enough, right?

I am young. I am motivational to my friends and patients. I am the person that people confide in. I am damn successful in pretty much everything I have ever done….
But against this I am so tiny.

I have friends, family and a boyfriend that love me and does not see the “X” on the tags of the clothes that I buy. I have a good job and tons of support in life. I have been soooo lucky and so blessed.

But I know I will die prematurely if I do not get this weight down. I know I will allow my self-esteem get damaged beyond repair with each pound I gain. I know I will allow myself to miss out on opportunities -- all because of weight.

I know I now need help, hand holding and step by step motivation. I have helped so many people in life and I cherish that I was able to do that. But now I am the one who needs help desperately. To live longer, to liver happier. TO NOT LET WEIGHT WIN!

My name is Andi. I am 32. I weigh 268 pounds. My initial goal weight is 200. I need to loose 100 lbs.

Last night I saw a photo of myself and I really could not believe how ‘round’ I was. I was horrified. I am still horrified. That is not how I see myself! I want to be the healthy person I ‘see’ in myself.

Like I said, this is my leap, please catch me.

Please, please pass on what has worked for you. Your motivations. Your successes. I want to hear them. I need to hear them.

Thank you Comrades,
-Andi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 5:29am

Ah thank you to everyone for the welcome and the ideas. They all seem very worthwhile.

So many of you are great inspirations, 40 lbs, 166 lbs, my gosh! I would be happy to hit the 200lb mark but if I could hit the 180 mark and stay there I would have all of you to thank.

I work nights so in some ways that makes things easier and in some ways it makes things worse. I stay very busy at work and can easily go without eating (I know, not so good) but on my days off is when I have the most trouble. Also having a boyfriend that can eat whatever he wants makes things a temptation. I need to include him in this journey so he can support me I guess.

So here is what I have done this week:
-- Drinking: Mainstay is now Water and crystal light. I only had 2 small orange juices, 2 skim milks and no coke or other beverages.

-- Walked the dogs on Sunday, walked my butt off at work on Monday (we average 6 miles in a night at the ER one would think that was excersize enough).

-- When my boyfriend wanted me to cook him something late at night (an unecessary meal), I cooked it for him and took only 1 bite for myself despite his wanting me to share.

-- Doritos -- took 2 chips out only when I had an urge. (baby steps, right?)

Goals for next week:
-- See is WW has a meeting I can work into my night schedule.
-- avoid the snack closet at work
-- Add vitamins

Do I understand your signatures right --
267/265/200 would mean starting weight/current/goal ?

-Andi
267/265/200

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 9:39pm

Andi,
You have the signature thing right...

Only Sue weighs less than her goal...

SJ
225-164-135

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