Wake Up Call!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2010
Wake Up Call!
3
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 2:25pm
Like I had siad I am over weight and I have been most of my life. Yeah ive lost weight here and there but nothing great and nothing that lasts. Tonight me and my husband of 5 years just had a sort of argument. He works out of town for 15 days home for 5 then back out of town for 15 and so on. Well I worry about him finding someone else, and just tonight I realize that all of my fears and doubts and anxiety is not because he gives me any reason to think he is with another woman or that he is unhappy with our marriage, it is because of me!!!! I realized that with me being so unhappy with my body and my weight I am fueling those fears with the single thought ever time. "I am so FAT why would he choose me over a smaller woman?" And I realized that my low self confidence and the fact that I am not happy with myself, is causing a gap between us. Just because I am not confident that He does love me for who I am and that He thinks I am beautiful! I cant let him be free so to speak because I am to worried that he will find someone better. I dont know what to do, but this time when I say I am going to change my life style and work out every day and eat better then I have to because I cant live with myself this way any more! And im afraid that eventually I will end up pushing my husband away with my own doubts! I am just having a rough time! I need prayer! and I need to stick with it this time and push myself harder!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2010
In reply to: katiebluem
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 12:36pm

ok breathe, count back from 10! You can do this! Sometimes it takes us getting to the point we realize how our insecurities affect our lives and the lives of the people we love and care about. You have the motivation, you know you want this but if you fall don't beat yourself up. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and keep going. Allot of times when we fall or do something we regret, we beat ourselves which in turn causes us to

Tori McCormick

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2010
In reply to: katiebluem
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 7:14pm

I just wanna reach out and hug you! My DH and I have been 11 years. We have had that same argument I don't know how many times. It isn't easy. This last time he sat me down and said this to me.....you know your so worried about me finding someone else because you think your so heavy. Have you stopped to think that maybe I am afraid that once you loose the weight that maybe I am afraid that it will be you that will find someone else? I hadn't thought about that. I never thought how he might be feeling as I am walking away these pounds. At that point we made a decision to walk together and use those walks for talking about us and a future and whatever fears or things we each are noticing as we both go thru this journey. Im noticing that we talk and discuss things more now than we did earlier in our marriage. I actually think this whole journey is bringing us closer together.


Good Luck!


 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2009
In reply to: katiebluem
Sun, 05-16-2010 - 12:09pm

Hi Katie, and welcome to our board!


Congratulate yourself for coming to an important insight about your feelings about your weight and your self-image, and the impact it has on your marriage.