Off and On again poster...Success!
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|Thu, 05-20-2010 - 10:51am|
My name is Abbie and I've been here off and on over the past year, either as a poster or a lurker. I've been struggling with weight for so long...really my whole life although I was never extremely heavy until now. I started this journey at my heaviest of 237 pounds. I felt ugly, I felt defeated, I felt like I would never be happy or successful. My self esteem was down the tubes, I was depressed. I was a wreck! Not that I've conquered all of those things but here is what the past few months have brought me.
I started to really get serious in February. It wasn't a New Years Resolution as everyone constantly thought it was, it was just a realization that happened one night. I was sitting in front of the TV and I was starving. Only I wasn't starving. I wasn't hungry at all! But I kept getting up and finding things to eat. I don't remember what I ate. I don't keep many unhealthy things in my house, but whatever I did have, I would binge eat on. I just couldn't fill myself even though I knew that I had eaten all day and there was no possible way that I could be truly hungry. I thought to myself...Why am I doing this? And I decided that night to start the next day on a 6 week detox program that I had fiddled around with in the past and never finished.
The next morning I started and I blogged about it. I didn't have any members on my blog, that wasn't the point, but I wrote everyday and posted progress pics and measurements and kept a food diary. It was nice. It was nice to feel accountable even though it was only to myself. I think I kind of pretended that someday someone might read this blog when I felt more confident about myself and I wanted to finish this goal that I set out on. I wasn't perfect on my diet, but I changed what I ate drastically. I ate as many fruits and vegetables as I could find and after a few weeks I noticed something more than just weight loss. I noticed that I felt better. Those 6 weeks taught me that eating healthy changes my mood. I feel happier and I feel more energetic and it's not just about losing weight. I lost 15 pounds in those 6 weeks but I'm still far away from my goal. I think the best thing that I achieved was just the knowledge that I could do it and that I would feel good doing it. When I eat junk food now, I feel awful! I don't want to feel that way anymore. That heavy, gross feeling of having junk in your system. Eating clean makes me feel lighter, cleaner and I am starting to really like that feeling. It pushes me to make the right choices no matter where I go to eat, at home, fast food or restaurants.
SO - I have definitely had some ups and downs on the road. I've been on this journey now for almost 4 months and I've lost 20 pounds. My goal weight right now is 145 and I'm still about 75 pounds away. It seems insurmountable, but I'm going to keep trying! I recently started exercising regularly and religiously. I see huge differences in my body and I'm getting myself back. I went shopping last week for an upcoming trip and I went from a size 22 jean to a size 16. They are tight, but I cannot believe that I'm almost out of the plus sizes! I went from a 2X shirt to an XL in the REGULAR clothes section! I think that has been the greatest feeling of all. So hopefully I can post here more often and keep myself motivated. I recently found a website called myfitnesspal.com. I keep track of my exercise and calories there and it's a community kind of like facebook. You can link with other people and keep track of their progress and see pics. If anyone is on there I would love to be your friend!
So that's my report.