Emergency Trip To Massachusetts

Avatar for eclectic5777
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Emergency Trip To Massachusetts
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Mon, 08-04-2003 - 6:19am
Hi Everyone,

I'm feeling totaly scattered. Yesterday my Dsis called and said that my Mom had just called her from the hospital telling her our stepfather was dead. The only detail she knew was that he had apparently died of a heart attack. She said she would call me later after she got to my Mom's house. That was 11 am and I didn't hear from her until 7 pm. It was a torturous day of waiting and speculating what may have happened or was going on with my Mom. Mom is not a very stable woman. She has fought depression most of her life and is cause for constant concern for me and my sister.

My Mom married Ed when I was 17 and although I missed my father who died (of a heart attack) when I was 15 Ed was the answer to all of our prayers. He was the most warm and loving man I've ever known. Ed had three grown children of his own that he was very close to yet he always made my sister and I feel loved and that he was there for us. He was the only Grandpa our children have known. He never favored his family over us which I found remarkable and comforting. His 26 years with my Mom was filled with it's challenges to say the least due to her bouts with depression but he stuck by her no matter what. He was God sent for me and my sister.

Mom has always had a "testy" relationship with Ed oldest daughter Kathy. I think Mom always felt threatened by her bond with Ed. Mom just could never understand that Ed had enough love for both of them. As I sat here at my house yesterday I worried how Mom and Kathy were doing with each other. I worried about how long it took for my DS to get down to Cape Cod with all the weekend traffic and most of all I wondered what Ed's last moments were like. Gosh, 2000 miles feels like a million when something like this happens. Not knowing much I didn't know whether to head to the airport and try to get there or wait for my sister to call.

At 7 pm CST I could not wait any longer and decided to call my Moms house. I got a busy signal ugh! I called my DS's cell and she answered saying I just called you and got a busy signal. WE WERE CALLING EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME! She couldn't say much because my Mom was there but she said that I needed to try to come as soon as possible becuase Mom wanted me there and was not fairing well. I talked to my BIL about midnight and finally got the details of Ed's passing. It seems that he rose early and headed out to putter in the garden. My Mom was still sleeping. He would often work on the flower beds a little then take a break and sit on the porch admiring his work and they suspect this was the case yesterday. When my Mom woke she called to him and he didn't reply so she headed outside to tell him the coffee was brewing. When she went out the front door she found him collapsed and unconscious on the porch and bleeding from a head wound. He was blue and she could not tell if he was alive. She called 911 and they arrived quickly and she says they worked on him for over an hour (wondering if it felt like an hour) before pronouncing him dead. Mom is having difficulty with the fact that he may have been there needing help while she was sleeping. They live in a very rural area where no one would have noticed him on the porch.

A direct flight was $2,500! Can't believe they put the screws to you if you have 0 days notice but I did find a fare for $850 with layovers and connections. I'm heading to the airport at noon and I'll arrive in Boston at 9:30 pm.

Thanks for listening dear friends. I guess I just needed to release all these feelings swirling around in my head. Please keep my Mom and my family in your prayers this week. A. Flo is looming (meaning my ankle is puffy along with all the other pre flo issues) and I'm very aware that I'm still struggling with a stress eating issue because I nibbled all day yesterday. I'm going to try to keep it in check today and remain aware. Gosh and say a prayer I find my way around the airport in Atlanta and can find my way from American to Delta!

Mom has Aol and the computer is in the guest bedroom so I may log on late at night if I can't sleep. I leave Boston at 6 am Sunday.

Margie :(

You Were Born An Original...   Don't Die A Copy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 6:50am
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. My condolences to you and your family. I hope that you make it there okay. Remember to be gentle with yourself during this stressful time.

Anna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 6:56am
Margie-

I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. Have a safe trip and we will keep you and your family in prayer.

Phyllis

Live With Passion!

Phyllis

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2001
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 7:20am
Margie,

So sorry to hear of your loss. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Susan

Avatar for bootywhompus
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 7:51am
Margie:

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. What a rough day that must have been for you. You and your family are in my thoughts today. I hope your Mom is doing ok.

Lori

Lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2001
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 7:58am
Margie, I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Hugs to you during this difficult time. What a kind, thoughtful post about Ed. You described a wonderful man and I'm sure he will be missed dearly. Nancy
Nancy

"Make Choices that bring you joy"  cl-Patty


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 8:07am
I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your step-father. He sounds like an exceptional man. Did you let the airline know that you were flying for the funeral of a family member? Many airlines have special reduced rates for that. It might not be too late to have it changed.

Take care. You're in our thoughts and prayers.

Rhonda

       ~~Rhonda~~


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Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 8:35am
Margie my prayers are being said at this moment. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope everything is alright with your mom. Please let us know whats going on soon.

Deb

Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 8:46am
Oh Margie, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear Ed. He sounds like he had the biggest heart and was such a blessing to your family during the time you needed him the most.

Prayers for you, Sis, Ed's three other children, all the grandchildren, and especially your mom. As the numbness & shock wear off, may the void be filled with the warmest and most pleasant memories. God's comforting touch to all of you.

Cussette

C

Avatar for free2beme482
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 8:49am
Margie,

I'm very sorry to hear about your step father's passing. My condolences to you and your family, and prayers of support.

Rhonda is correct about discounted airfares for family emergencies. They are usually half the cost of a full fare ticket which depends on the season that you're travelling, how expensive it is. With 0 days notice its the cheapest way to fly and also to get a direct flight.

Catherine.

Avatar for imthebigsister
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 9:01am
Margie - I'm so sorry to hear of your stepfather's sad passing. It sounds like he was a very good person to your mother, your sister, and you.

Donna

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