Mom of kids over 16, what do you think?

Avatar for sharonalee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mom of kids over 16, what do you think?
8
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 11:34pm
Ok, I know this is not a fitness, diet, beauty, health question but I would love your advice, please. My 16 year old son, a great kid is now driving. I am the world's biggest worry wort mom and have very strict rules about driving. My ds wanted to go to the bowling alley at 9pm -11pm, I said no, I do not like the idea of him out on the interstate 10 miles away at that hour. Well, I am now the meanest mother in the world and very much hated. I will not change my mind, but maybe I am being unreasonable? The bowling alley is in another town and not in a very good area, especially at night. Working in pediatrics, I always tell the new moms, enjoy it now because when the are teenagers it is a whole new ball game!

Thanks

Sharon

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 6:14am
Been there, done that!!Telling them no and having them think you are the worst parent is hard.Sounds like you have good reasons to say no.And he will have more chances to do this and other things as he gets older or as been driving longer.I think you did the right thing.

Miss P




 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2001
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 7:54am
Sharon, you are the adult and the boss. It is your job to be the responsible one and it's your teenager's job to test you. It isn't fun and it won't be for a while. But continue to be the meanest mom in the world. At some point in his life, your teenager will thank you for it.

This is the time when your child is growing out of childhood and slowly into adulthood. He will test and test. It isn't fun but it's very normal. Our kids both did it constantly. Now that they are in their 20's, I look back and wonder how we all survived it. We had kids that thought we were terrible. Now they think that we're pretty 'cool' parents. Hang in there, be tough, continue to be the calm one and the one with the good judgement. It will be hard but it will pay off in the long run! Good luck to you.

Nancy

Nancy

"Make Choices that bring you joy"  cl-Patty


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2001
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 8:09am
Sharon,

Been there done this 3 times! All parents of 16 years old are the dumbest, meanest people and I personally think most 16 year olds think they're immortal! How long has your DS had his license? I have to say my son got his license just before his 17th birthday. He had already been driving with his permit(which means in NYS that you need a licensed adult with you) for almost a year and by the time he got his license he had already bought and been driving his own car, registered and insured it on his own but he did admit that the first couple of times he drove by himself-it scared him! And I still say a prayer everytime any of them get behind the wheel! Explain the rules and your reasons why and stick to them-he'll get over it!

Susan

Avatar for bootywhompus
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 8:16am
I happen to agree with you. It might not be the fun or cool thing to do, but it sounds like the right idea to me. Your son will get over it and move on with his life. Be prepared for lots of loud sighs and rolling eyes on that night.

He doesn't hate you. You are not the meanest mom ever (I am apparently). You love your kid and you don't want him hurt. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Lori

Lori

Avatar for jody_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 9:33am
Sharon, you're not being unreasonable or a mean mom. He's only 16 and just started driving. My daughter is 17 and we went through the same thing. She thought that since she had her license, she could go anywhere she wanted. We were lucky in that she had older friends who had been driving for a while and she usually went places with them. Stand your ground and let him (and you) gradually get used to being out on his own. I've been telling Amanda since she started high school that it's now my job to save her from herself. She laughs, but she doesn't argue so much.

~Jody~

~Jody~
Avatar for ive_got_five
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2001
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 11:07am
Sharon,

I have to agree with the others. You know in your heart you made the right decision. Don't let his disappoint sway you. Teenagers *do* think they are invincible. Just so you feel a little better about your decision, this summer has been a terrible one in our neck of the woods for teenage deaths involving speed and bad judgement. Stick to your guns. You are an awesome mom and one day he will appreciate it!

Shar

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 12:28pm
Mine is only 13, but I think you are doing the right thing, Sharon. Until kids drive awhile, they are prone to accidents. I've seen lots of parent's cars ding'd up by their teenagers around town. I certainly will tell mine he's not driving interstate without me or his dad in the car. He won't be allowed to drive after a certain time at night, either. A child is just that, a child; and there will be plenty of time to be independent once he is an adult.
Katherine (Kat)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 3:24pm
Stick by your guns, Mom! You're being totally reasonable at this stage and proving what a loving, good mother you are. One day he may thank you for it.

Rhonda

       ~~Rhonda~~


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