Ladies I'm asking your help once again..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2001
Ladies I'm asking your help once again..
12
Sun, 08-31-2003 - 11:22am
If I don't get out of this state I'm in and I don't stop posting these things you really are all going to think that I'm a certifiable lunatic. I feel like I've fallen into this big hole and that I'm at the bottom and I see the light at the top and I start to climb back up but for each step I take I keep sliding back to the bottom or when I reach a certain place I'm just holding on for dear life. I'm holding on for dear life at the moment. I'm trying to keep things in perspective but the mind really does play terrible tricks on you. In spite of all the things that I should have been doing yesterday I enjoyed the lazy day and spending the time with my daughter and the kids were so much fun over dinner. I enjoyed a pleasant walk with the dog and did manage to accomplish a few things last evening. So why do I feel so uneasy this morning and anxious and feeling that what I need to do is so overwhelming? In a "normal" of mind I just sort out each task and tackle one thing at a time. I can't seem to do it. I keep looking at the overwhelming amount of things that need to be done and I can't get my mind to focus. I know this not being able to focus is part of this whole menopausal thing but this is really driving me crazy. This is not the "normal" me. Sure I get my periods where things are overwhelming but this just doesn't seem to want to go away. I think one of my goals needs to be to find the type of stress relieving activity that will help me to combat this. I know what I need to do but can't seem to get the brain together to activate any normal semblance of thoughts to put into practice. I'm really going to ruin my health if I keep on this track. No amount of blood pressure medication is going to eliminate this problem if I don't get back in charge of what I'm doing to myself. I seem to understand my own problem but I can't get my mind and body to cooperate.

Thanks again for letting me expand on what's going on inside my head. There really are a lot of little voices inside there!

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2001
Sun, 08-31-2003 - 10:45pm
Susan, you are not a 'lunatic'. You seem to be feeling what many of us feel at times. And it is very hard to go through. You work very hard. You have a full time job, you keep up a house and you have family at home to cook and care for. You also walk a dog each night, don't you? Wow, what else could you possibly do to take away time for yourself????

I agree with all of the other gals. The 'get your family to help' strategy is a great one. Every once in a while (when our kids were home and I was overwhelmed like you are), we'd have a family meeting. I'd just tell them how I was feeling. I told them that they either had to help me out or that I would be unable to cope and be a 'screaming meamie'. They never liked that aspect of my personality so they'd help for a little bit. By that time, I could usually cope a bit better. If not, another family meeting was in order.

As far as the feelings of overwhelming tasks, responsibilities, etc....yes, I can also relate to that. I am beginning to think that it is somewhat hormonal but also 'built in' to our personalities. I don't know if it is because we are women and caregivers or if we have been taught from little girls on up that we have to be all things to all people or just what it is. But I am like that at times and from reading other gals posts here, I think many of us feel that way. Can you make a dr's appointment and talk to him/her? There is nothing wrong with needing medications at different times of our lives. You would not be embarassed to be a diabetic and need insulin, or have an underactive thyroid or an overactive one and need medication. Nor is there any need to be embarassed about having the chemicals in your brain go a little 'haywire' along with the rest of your body at this menopausal stage or pre menopausal stage. These things happen. I'm not saying that it has happened to you but it sure could be checked out.

Don't ever think that you can't tell us how you are feeling! What else are we here for and we've all told how we feel and are coping at times. I hope that you can find some help and some well being soon. It is no fun to live like you are right now and it isn't good for your health...either mental or physical. Take care and know that we all care.

Nancy

Nancy

"Make Choices that bring you joy"  cl-Patty


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Mon, 09-01-2003 - 9:05am
Susan, if a family meeting and divvying up responsibilities is not working or you can't even get the family together to listen to you, it's time to see a family counselor. There should be no reason for this situation to continue, and you can't seem to get through to other family members that while you are mom/wife, you cannot be their personal servant with your schedule any more than any other member can be a personal servant. I take it that if you simply stopped doing things (like laundry for kids who are perfectly capable of doing it themselves, clearing the plates from the table, etc.) it would drive you deeper into the hole?

I also concur with Rhonda that you might want to consult with a doctor. It could be menopausal fluctuations, but it could be more than a "female hormone imbalance". What concerns me most is your anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed - and that it might be accompanying depression. Don't let the word scare you, but instead, listen to your body! It just seems to me like something's got a hold of you which is not coinciding just with menopausal fluctuations. Maybe it is and I'm off-base in my concern, but if it isn't, that too needs to be addressed. It might also give your family the wake-up call they need.

Cussette

C

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