On my mind...

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Registered: 03-26-2003
On my mind...
6
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 5:39pm
Hi Everyone,

I've had this on my mind since I acknowledged that neither Mom nor Ed would be coming back to their house. I looked around at all that they had in their home and wondered how all of it could be so important just weeks ago and now none of it was needed. One minute it had value and then in a split second it had all changed.

Both my sister and I are settled in our own homes and Mom's taste in furnishings was nice but much different and either of ours. In the end it was the same with Ed's girls. It's sort of sad to think that none of us needs/wants their things. It's also a bit sad to think of it being sold at a estate or yard sale or even being donated. I feel this little twinge of guilt that we are supposed to protect their belongings. What each of us valued were small personal items that bonded us to each of them. For me it was the stack of letters I had written Mom over the years that we were in the military. I sat for hours reading through them reliving my children growing and developing, remembering the places we lived and milestones like purchasing our house. We all treasured photos and whished we had taken more in August but it just didn't feel right on such a sad day.

I've always been a person who have valued my time much more than worldly possessions. For years I've been telling my sister that I love her big beautiful home but I didn't want to work 24/7 like she does to have one. Now as my sister and I ponder what to do with the contents of the house I find myself more sure of my beliefs. I'm feeling the urge to simplify my life even more. Don't get me wrong I stil want my home to look nice but maybe it's okay to have healthy green grass and a few potted plants on the doorstep rather than elaborate landscaping that requires a lot of attention. Maybe it's okay to pick a nice quality carpet for the house rather than argue with DH that I want hardwoods. Maybe it's okay to get another year out of our aging sagging living room furniture. I think I might later regret a big purchase if I did it now during this time of transition. I've begun a list of things I know I can simplify. If I purge these things now then it's less for my kids to deal with someday (hoepfully far far down the road) and I believe I will feel unburdened and freer to enjoy each day. I'm going to concentrate my energy on this project and look forward this time next year when I can anticipate my favorite season and thank Mom for continuing to teach me a valuable lessons.

Thank goodness for good friends, family and a crisp new journal just waiting for me to fill the pages...Margie

You Were Born An Original...   Don't Die A Copy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 6:01pm
It is strange how things can seem to mean so much and then suddenly we realize what really matters.When my grandmother had her estate sale it was sad.On one hand it was just material things but on the other the value was in memories that wouldn't mean anything to those who bought the things.I know my Mom really struggled with it all.

I loved your post, gave me alot to think about.

Miss P




 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 6:23pm

The most priceless thing that your mother left you is wonderful memories that you can keep forever in your heart.

Live With Passion!

Phyllis

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Registered: 02-27-2001
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 8:25pm
Margie, isn't it strange how things can look so different in such a short time?
Nancy

"Make Choices that bring you joy"  cl-Patty


 


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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 1:38pm
Hugs to you, Margie! You have gone thru so much in such a small period of time! Your reflections are so genuinely sweet and I loved reading them. I'm glad you still have your letters to your Mother to cherish. I agree about the letters and photos being the most precious of memories.

Hope you have a peaceful weekend and here's to a simple and satisfying life with loved ones! What more in life is there?

Hugs,

Kat

Katherine (Kat)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Mon, 10-06-2003 - 7:05am
Margie.

What a sweet, sweet post to read. I paused and thought about each of your words and how they applied to my life and it wasn't pretty! Such clutter and stuff in my life (physical and mental) when that is not what this life is really about. I will continue to ponder your thoughts today and this week. Have already jotted some ideas and plans down. I am so glad you shared this with us. Your family is truly lucky to have you in their lives, as are we.

Sassy

 

                        

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-06-2003 - 11:21am
Wonderful post Margie!! I'm a firm believer in living way "below" our means. It's not only comforting but makes sense in the big picture of life. Thanks for posting and reminding us.

Deb