I'm so awful
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I'm so awful
| Sun, 10-05-2003 - 1:58pm |
Does knowing that I am help make it better???My in laws are the sweetest people but so much has changed in the past few years.Dh is gone for a few days and my FIL just called to tell him what he should take with him. I know he means well but they are constantly worrying over things.I used to have to call everytime I came in from CL and finally I just refused to do it.If I don't get over to see them every so often they think I'm mad about something. But my SIL lives an hour and a half away and hardly comes home at all.They understand that because she is busy!!I kinda think I'm busy too.I think sometimes if I were honest I would say I resent that my DH, my BIL and my SIL all get to work away from home and get away from it.I don't have that chance.My BIL lives at home and yet he seems to have more indepence from the situation than I do. I don't feel like they take my work seriously.They depend on DH for alot so I have to not depend on him so much.The things I need him to do go undone.They don't have the patience to wait for things to be done anymore either.I have an endless cycle of feeling frustrated by it all and then feeling terrible guilt because of that feeling.Right now I'm in the frustrated stage, guilt will follow soon.Thanks for letting me vent.

Lots of hugs and you can vent anytime you wish,
Kat
Hugs
Sharon
Of course you are not a terrible person!!!!
"Make Choices that bring you joy" cl-Patty
It may make some waves at first, but you'd probably be a lot happier if you let your DH know how this makes you feel, and maybe he or the two of you could initiate some changes to wean them away from you at least part of the time.
You're a wonderful, caring person, and they probably take advantage of that. You owe it to yourself to get respect for all you do and have some time of your own.
We love you, lady!
Rhonda
~~Rhonda~~
<
There is absolutely no reason in the world for you to feel guilty.
Live With Passion!
Phyllis
Miss P
Deb
Debbie
Rhonda
~~Rhonda~~
<
As for their impatience, well, I hate to say it, but get used to it. My in laws have gotten that way too over the last couple years. I think that their constant worrying is just from being a parent and not letting go quite as much as they probably should. Heck, my Dad is still making decisions for me which I politely ignore.
As for your DH not helping you, I'd have to have a talk with him about that. Yes, he owes his parents the respect they are due. But he has a family of his own and he needs to take care of them as well.
We know you work hard. We know you have a lot on your plate. In fact, I am just a little envious of you and your work. It certainly sounds glamorous with you being a princess and all.
Hang in there your Ladyship.
Lori
Lori
My MIL, God bless her, has her place in heaven reserved. She is wonderfully patient with my FIL and knows just how to get her points across with him; it's a wonderful thing to witness! She's had 60 years to figure him out; I'm still a baby at it, but I'm catching on. She listens when you talk, passes no judgments and offers good impartial compassionate advice. She recognizes that her sons are all grown up and have fully functioning brains of their own, only pries when she's concerned about a situation (and there aren't many that she considers pry-worthy), and treats her DILs with more respect than many mothers have for their own daughters. When she needs help, we're more than happy to oblige because she recognizes we have work responsibilities and doesn't take advantage.
I wish I could pass some of the good stuff your way, Patty. Sounds like you do have to set limits with your MIL - set up an office area and make a big deal out of it, set up something that appears like workday hours, put a business-like message on your answering machine and screen phone calls during your workday hours (I know, your work hours could be midnight if something goes awry in one of the houses, but this is for the benefit of piece of mind during the day when things are their busiest) and, if you must answer the phone, keep the conversation to a minimum and take a message for your DH when his family calls looking for his aid and assistance - you need him, too, as do his other work commitments.
Hugggsss coming your way,
Donna