Fab Friday Humor....

Avatar for imthebigsister
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fab Friday Humor....
2
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 9:53am
Stolen immediately and directly from a coworker's e-mail.....

=========================================================================================

The Newest Medications for Women...

D A M M I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting skills.

D U M E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of Rap, Rock, or New Age music.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N

Potent antibiotic for women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-ALL

When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.


Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 10:19am
I LOVE these and will definitely have to pass them on! Isn't it funny that you can write "hell" but not "sl*rp?" ;-) I forgot and wrote the "s" word and had to go back and edit it before it would print!!!

Thanks,

Rhonda

       ~~Rhonda~~


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 2:45pm
I could definitely use some "Dammitol" and "Flipitor" (although I don't flip people off, I just mutter about bad drivers in the car).

These are really cute!

P.S. I DID buy a book by Dr. Laura to see why my ex-husband loved her radio show! Gosh, I had my fill of her and Rush Limbaugh whenever I had to go on road trips with the ex (he - the ex - probably drove me to my "wishy-washy" political preference). I thought she was rude to her callers. I wonder if she still has a radio program.

Katherine (Kat)