In the beginning....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In the beginning....
2
Tue, 10-14-2003 - 10:57am
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower, spinach, green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben & Jerry's' and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yea," and Woman said "and another one with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man and Woman gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then brought running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man and Woman would not have to get up and change the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man and Woman gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man and Woman might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then he said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yea! and super size 'em." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.

       ~~Rhonda~~


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Avatar for imthebigsister
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-14-2003 - 11:49am
Thanks for this! Passing it along....
Avatar for catalinadeb
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 10-14-2003 - 1:26pm
GOOD ONE RHONDA!!! I think I'll forward this to a few people that will also enjoy this.

Debra:^)