Thanks, and an apology...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Thanks, and an apology...
10
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 12:52am
Thanks to *all* of you who checked out my Li'l Al's pictures. I've read the responses of those of you who checked them out after I'd posted this morning - and your comments are so much appreciated. Yeah, I felt a little down in the dumps when it seemed like it was ignored - being a SAHM, the kidster is pretty much what my life is about now. I'm sorry if I came off wrong or if I was backhanded about feeling slighted. Right now, little things are getting to me. ...Heck, can I vent while I have your ears?

My parents e-mailed and said they wouldn't be visiting over Thanksgiving (or alternate days of Allison's birthday or Christmas) like they'd hoped. They've managed to book/pay for an upcoming cruise, they're going to Mexico for 4 days in December, and my dad took a weeklong birding trip to Peru a few weeks ago, but the reason they give for not visiting is "Money and time are tight." It's a long story that started when they moved 4+ years ago, and while I turned my anger and sorrow about various issues regarding my parents over to the Lord (took two years), I didn't fall off a turnip truck yesterday, yanno? I get tired of thinly veiled talk about what they can't do when it's really because they'd much rather do something else. I'm glad we've got my loving MIL who wants to be a part of our lives. ...Things at The Cus's job aren't going well either - threats of layoffs, cutbacks, he's putting in more time, and now he finds out that they're having a wage freeze for the next year for most employees, including him. ...The only time I see my friends is when we pass each other in church or attend some study together. ...My spiritual life is flagging too, and perhaps a lot of this would just seem nominal had I been doing my quiet time, though right now I read the Truth and it just passes through my ears - I've definitely been Martha lately. ...I can't run as much as during the summer due to shorter days, and with DH getting home later, I'm down to 2 days. I can't seem to make adequate time for working out, either. When I work out, other projects get sidelined; when I do those projects, working out gets sidelined. I haven't been playing preschool with Allison lately, either. ...The new car is taking forever to get here, and while it's *supposed* to be in the US, Subaru can't say for certain. ...Word from one of Dan's aunts is that she has breast cancer - too early in the diagnosis to know it's spread or anything. ...I'm not all that excited about Halloween, though autumn and Halloween tend to bring out the kid in me. ...All I have to look forward to is cleaning house, paying bills, and studying 3 textbooks to maintain my CPA status before December 31st - like I'm *really* looking forward to fitting that in, and Allison won't be happy about me having my nose in a book rather than doting on her. Well, I do have a birthday for a Little Bit coming up, but even planning that seems like a task rather than something I'm looking forward to (aaack - mommy guilt!).

I'm in a rut, and I feel like I need a break, though if I had a break, it'd be just the same ol' same ol' when it was over. Not really looking for advice or suggestions, just need to unload. Tag - y'all are it ;^)! This is certainly not the worst life can be, and I'm thankful for what is *right* in my life. I'm know this is all temporary, I'm not obsessed or anything, no longer having those disturbing dreams so they're unrelated to anything (amazing what a prayer in faith will do!), not depressed, and I don't see this as a lingering thing. I just wish there was a springboard just around the corner that I could bounce off of to be more positive and forward-looking right now.

Cantankerous Cussette

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 6:01am

No advice here Linda.

Live With Passion!

Phyllis

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 6:13am
No advice but as a mom who sayed home many years I can understand so much in your post.I'm glad you vented to us and I hope it helps to know someone understands and cares.Sending you hugs.

Patty

Miss P




 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 7:22am

No need to apologize. We all have times when we feel a little needier and more sensitive, and it's good to know we can share that with others who understand and care.


I feel bad that I didn't get to Al's site sooner. I've been a stay at home Mom off-and-on throughout the years, but either way, my children have been my life, and it's hard when other people don't respond the same way. I was thinking yesterday about how a former board member used to refer to her son as "the golden child," and I was thinking, we ALL think our own children are golden. It's just human nature. You really have done an outstanding job on the web site, and she will definitely be grateful to have such a wonderful pictorial and written record of her life as she gets old enough to fully appreciate it.

       ~~Rhonda~~


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Avatar for bootywhompus
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 7:33am
No apology needed. We all feel a little taken for granted and need some support now and then. You have a lot going on in your life right now and a little acknowledgement can go a long way toward maintaining your sunny outlook on life. Ali is beautiful and I'm sure you are proud of her and her accomplishments.

So what if you only get 2 runs in a week? I'm pretty sure you get plenty of exercise with all the things you do for others. Please do take some time for yourself. Ali will get over you having your nose in a book for a while. You're not neglecting her by maintaining your professional status, you're helping to insure her future and role-modeling responsible behavior.

There is never a need for apologies for venting here. Your parents sound like they give you cause for sadness and anger. I sense that maybe you're afraid you'll make Ali feel like they make you feel. I don't think you'll let that happen. No guilt is needed. You are a great Mom and I'm sure Ali and the Cus know that. Things will work out for the best as you know. Take it one day at a time.

Hugs,

Lori

Lori

Avatar for imthebigsister
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 9:18am
Linda - I think reality is interfering with your spiritual life and your usual upbeat self. I can't imagine that you'll let the spiritual slip continue - your faith is so strong. I just think you've got so much on your mind, you can't focus on it now. I can't imagine that your parents wouldn't choose to spend some time with Allison during the holidays - she seems like such a little peach; I'd have hurt feelings, too. The pressure from the threats at your DH's workplace can weigh on you - I can remember every time my DH started coming home on time from any of the architectural firms that he worked at, a staff cut was just around the corner, and as a contract employee, he was one of the first ones out the door (now I think that might have been a blessing). Even though I was working steadily through all those times (about 3 years' worth of off-and-on assignments in a really down market for the building and construction business around here), I'd get panicky and stressed out. We certainly don't live beyond our means, but I liked the little indulgences (frequent forays to restaurants) we did take advantage of.



No solutions here, just hopes that you'll be yourself soon and that everything works out.

Donna




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 10:22am

Sorry!

“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” -Brian Tracy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 11:19am
I echo what Phyllis posted, Linda! I hate that your dh is going thru this at work. So sad when people's pay gets cut and/or they get laid off. Will keep you all in my prayers. Don't feel guilty about the CE's for CPA - you're one intelligent lady to be a CPA & it's always a smart move to keep up one's license. You're a great mom, I can tell and I bet Allison knows how much you love her. Whatever fitness you do, it keeps you in excellent shape. I am VERY envious of your shape - you're doing great, girlie!
Katherine (Kat)
Avatar for eclectic5777
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 2:27pm

Linda,


When I read your post I realized that it could have a disclaimer that reads "the names have been changed to protect the innocent" and it could pretty much be the story of many of us on the board.

You Were Born An Original...   Don't Die A Copy

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 3:29pm
Golly Gee, Linda: I thought I was the only one with the juggling act........NOT! Hey we all have our moments/days/weeks when we feel as you discribed. Heaven knows I am one of the biggest ones out there. My moments seem to last forever for me. I understand completely how you feel about "just paying the bills" or "just cleaning the house" I have been a SAHM for 18 going on 19 years now. That is why last Sept it was so important to me to get out and try something for me, like school. This year is hard, only one class but so draining because its is so difficult. My chores/job at home has not changed any. Some help from the family here or there but for the most part 99.9% of everything involving this house and family fall on my shoulders. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I made a commitment to these kids when I gave birth to them that I would be there when they needed or wanted, and I have to continue this commitment for a while. Katie is only 9, and I do not want her to "have" to come home to an empty house, I just don't!

About your folks not having the "money" to visit. I feel your anger and understand completely. My mom babysits for my middle sister and I feel upset because I believe my sister takes advantage. My folks never come to see my kids race, but they make all of my nephews soccer games. Does it upset me, you bet. Do they love her kids more then mine, probley not, but it still hurts. I wish I could give you something to help but I can't. I have a great in-laws too. Who idolize my kids 100% and they are always here for them and Bill and I. I think they have gone to about 90% of the races, and they travel out of town and are so proud of my kids. They spoil them to death!

Now about your beautiful daughter, she is just that! The day I saw/read your post I logged onto your site right away. I completely enjoyed looking at her and you have everyright to be proud of her. I just did not have time to tell you this, and I am truely sorry. I did not mean to offend you. I should have let you know this, I understand when we want and need to hear others thoughts.

Well time for Katie to get home and together we need to start our homework. Hang in there I am sure things will get better and about hubby's job.... I am thinking about you there and understand you worries. We are self employed and when things slow down we panic. I hope everything works out the way you need and want. Again I am so sorry. Feel better!

(((HUGS)))

Deb

Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2001
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 10:32pm

I understand your feelings completely.

Nancy

"Make Choices that bring you joy"  cl-Patty