Times they are changing
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Times they are changing
| Fri, 11-21-2003 - 8:21am |
I've been married 27 years and with the exception of the year I was very pregnant and overdue with my oldest this will be the first year that I won't be cooking Thanksgiving with other family members being present. DH has been trying to get his sister and mom here for Thanksgiving. He extended the invitation once again last night but they just won't budge. I'm not sure what they're going to do...whether they plan to sit at the nursing home all day or at the nursing home and then home alone. My MIL in our opinion is in a state of denial over FIL's condition and by the conversation last night has been put on Zoloft for depression. Just my opinion, and I guess after our DD's problems dealing with depression and anxiety, I hate seeing these type of prescriptions being written without some type of therapy to go with it to help with the root of the problem. I've thought about just cooking the meal and transporting it to their house but I'm not getting good vibes about trying that idea. It just seems that they could use a change of scenery. I know everyone has different ways of dealing with things going on-but this just doesn't seem very healthy.
It's going to seem very strange around here...

I also agree with you on counseling for most people when anti-depressants are prescribed. Without dealing with the root of the problems, the medication becomes a crutch. In those rare instances, I can see it - like the mother of a friend of ours: her husband lost both his kidneys and was on dialysis for 25+ years before he passed away nearly 4 years ago, and her MIL never did care for her and made it known by criticizing her and willfully trying to make life difficult. There was no doubt what the root of my friend's mom's problems were - dealing with her beloved husband's physical conditions, and staving off a bitter MIL, but she was literally stuck in the situation. She wasn't going to abandon her husband (the two of them were quite a pair and had something special between them) despite MIL. Both her DH and MIL have since passed away, and she's medication-free for the first time in years.
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C
An old friend of mine used to say "you can't make people happy against their will." Just do the nicest thing you can for them, expect nothing, and enjoy your day with your family.
Donna
Rhonda
Time invested in improving ourselves cuts down on time disapproving of others.
~~Rhonda~~
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Miss P
I would think that they would love to have someone cook for them and make a special dinner. But, some people feel "guilty" if they have a good time when someone else can't. You extended the invites and you did your best and that is all you can do.
About the Zoloft...you are right there with prescribing that stuff without some counseling. Some docs are too quick to write out Rx's. Of course she is depressed...some one she loves is ill. I am sure talking to someone would help a lot, but the older generation is so against "airing their dirty laundry".
It will be only 3 of us for Thanksgiving here. It sure cutting down on my menu. I do have one consulation...all the kids and grandkids will be together for Christmas in NC.
Good luck with how Thanksgiving turns out. You may be making a new tradition and that is ok too.
Grace
Grace
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