We may hear the pitter patter of little

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Registered: 03-26-2003
We may hear the pitter patter of little
21
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 8:50am

feet in our house around April.

Live With Passion!

Phyllis

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 10:06am
Thank you Nancy.

Live With Passion!

Phyllis

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 10:33am

I know you will prayerfully and thoroughly consider all aspects of the situation before you make a decision. It is a huge (and admirable) thing you're considering.


I was 39 when I was pregnant with Rob. I was really scared about how my body would handle it and getting back into getting up at night, diapers, having to carry so much paraphanalia everywhere, being tied down, etc., after a 12 1/2 year break, but I can't imagine not having Rob. I have more patience to compensate for less energy, we are so close, and he helps keep me young. But, anyone who says boys are cheaper than girls hasn't met my son! LOL! I could have a lot of material things, but none would compare to my "treasure." At least at 17 months old your nephew is past a lot of the infant and small baby stages, and he'd be 20 months by April.


Cussette's advice about the dog is good. My niece just ended up giving her loving, gentle Japanese Chin, that was her constant companion until Andie was born, to the Humane Society. It upset me very much. The dog was eating, Andie came over to love her, and Sacchi reacting by snapping at her -- a natural reaction for an animal eating. She caught Andie near her eye, but

       ~~Rhonda~~


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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 11:12am
Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, Phyllis! You and Johnny are brave yet selfless folks to consider this. If you do adopt the baby, I know you will never regret it!

Danny grew up with a cocker spaniel (a male who was full grown when we brought Danny home from the hospital). Tim got to smell & touch Danny's baby blanket before Danny was brought home and boy, it was love at first sight for that dog! He would sit and guard that baby in his playpen or crib & get so worried about Danny! It was adorable. I don't remember Tim ever snapping at Danny, but we made sure Tim ate his food in a closed off room and also monitored child and dog until Danny was old enough to understand how one acts with dogs. Anyway, no problems and Tim lived to a ripe old age. Danny still misses him. He still wants another dog, so I may just get one soon, but a female one this time!

Yes, children are very big responsibilities, but what joys they are! I think about Danny all the time, missing him when he's with his dad. You do get so hooked!


My prayers are with you,

Kat

Katherine (Kat)
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Registered: 10-15-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 11:37am

I'd take him in an instant!

“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” -Brian Tracy
Avatar for ive_got_five
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Registered: 11-11-2001
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 2:07pm
Hi Phyllis,

I was 40 when I got pregnant with Adam. People thought we were *really* crazy when we decided to add Max to the mix at 43. We are on one income, at least until the boys are both in school full time and I can figure out what I'm going to do (work from home or outside of the home), but I think more families today have mom's that work outside of the home than stay at home.

On the plus side, my boys keep me young and young at heart. I have the privilege of getting to see the world from a child's point of view, yet again. Experiencing all of the wonderful things that childhood brings (Adam lost his first tooth this morning). I have the opportunity to meet new friends and there's nothing like those incredible snuggles and kisses.

I'm with Linda! I can't imagine my life without my boys and wouldn't turn the clock back for a minute.

As far as Sheba, your great nephew won't be this small for long. I'd bet she'll tolerate him until he's bigger.

Phyllis, you and Johnny have to follow your hearts on this one. I think you are very special people to be considering this.

Good luck,

Shar

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Registered: 10-15-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 2:22pm

Shar---my Mom was 40 when she had Erin, there is 10 yrs between me and Erin, and 13 between Erin and Melissa.

“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” -Brian Tracy
Avatar for ive_got_five
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Registered: 11-11-2001
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 3:47pm
Hi Deb,

It's funny how family dynamics works, isn't it. My three older kids, dote on their little brothers and spoil them rotten. None of them (the older ones) who range in age from 23 - 27 are in any hurry to start a family and I sometimes wonder if it's because they have their little brothers.

There is 9 1/2 years between my sister and I and 9 between my niece (her daughter) and I. My neice (38) has also has started a second family. She has two daughters 17 and 15 and they now have a little brother who is 4. It's great, because we have become quite close and I think much of it is because we have the boys in common. My sister and BIL aren't used to having little ones around, so when they are over at their house things are little tense. But when they come here, they can relax because we are very *kid* oriented!

Since having a baby later in life, I hear all sorts of stories of late life moms and they are becoming a lot more common, since women have put off childbearing to establish careers.

Thanks for sharing,

Shar

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Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 4:58pm

Congratulations, Phyllis...with your energy and faith...How could you not take him in??

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 7:08pm

I absolutely, positively don't think you are nuts at all! You and DH are special people do consider and want to do this. You are young at heart and your heart will grow and make it work. Things will definitely change but there are rewards too!


Your faith will help you make the right decision. Believe God will help you through it all.


You two are incredible!


Grace

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Registered: 05-27-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 7:41pm
I understand this more than you could ever imagine, and relate to it in a huge way. As I mentioned in one of my first posts here, I took Chloe away from my own daughter and raised her full time for awhile before the other side of the family pitched in to help, and now I still have her 50% of the time. Well, my DD is now pregnant again. Sigh......and her situation is not any better than before. In some ways, it's even worse. I watched my daughter go from an honor roll student, Color Guard Captain, and being a professional model from age 14 to 16 to dropping out of school, becoming drug addicted, bulimic, and basically living wherever and with whomever. She is not doing drugs at the moment, but she and her bf live like gypsies, going from place to place, working for a few weeks here and there, living off friends or out of motels, etc. Right now they are living with her bf's sister, they don't have jobs, nor do they have a car. I am worried sick. She has nothing for a baby; not a bottle, not a blanket, or even a pacifier, but she won't even consider adoption. She simply thinks *Mom* will jump to the rescue, send money, and make everything allright. I suspect I am going to have another battle on my hands and there is a great chance I will have to take this baby away from her, too.

I understand the million thoughts going thru your head over this, they are going thru mine, too. My DD is due to give birth within the next 6 weeks and right now she is living almost 2 hours away from me, so that makes it harder for me to keep an eye on things, too. The baby is a boy, we do know that much. She is going to hate me if I have to call CPS, but like you I cannot let this baby slip through the cracks. Only time will tell what will happen with this. I am concerned about all the same things you are concerned about, too. I have a busy career, and with Chloe I have help.....if this baby ends up with me that will not be the case with him. I am used to having my own life at least 50% of the time, and I have grown kind of selfish about that. I want to travel and have fun. It wasn't in my plans to raise another baby. But we do what we have to do, don't we? I could never live with myself if that baby were left to suffer when I could have made his life better.

I will be praying for you Phyllis, and I certainly don't think you're nuts. Bless You.

HUGS!